random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Sir Dank-a-Lot]

“Mother of God, he’s a weapons-grade retard” - Me just now, after reading Patrick Tomlinson quotes.

 

[Near]

"IF I SHIT MYSELF I WOULD TELL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS"

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

I was molested as a child. But this thing I'm quoting is actually objectively worse than said molestation.

 

[Fromtheblackdepths]

I always ask myself if I'm an evil person and do I really deserve love? I mean IDK. I feel like I'm trapped in a giant hole, there's a shovel next to me, but I'm suffering from dementia and I've forgotten what a shovel is. So I just flop the shovel around not knowing what the fuck to do, and one of these days I'm gonna throw the shovel out of the hole.

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

I assume the forks in prison are regulation size, as is the spaghetti.

 

[Quiet Dignity]

Dumbest sentence I've read in a long time.
source | archive

 

[IamSpechal]

 

[Dolomite]

He leaned in towards his target, his geriatric nostrils hungry for the scent of sweet, sweet female scalp sweat.

Go fertilise the pampas with you and your families corpses, its the best you can hope for in life.

your profile photo is a FUCKING UNDERAGE ANIME GIRL THAT YOU JERK OFF TOO AND UR A DUDE WHO IS OBESE WITH ACHNE

 

[Secret Messages]

“I’m a boring person. Simply your average dream smp fan with no friends and life. Im sick of wearing a mask, pretending to be someone I’m not to avoid the bullying and ridicule.”

 

[The Paranoid Organ]

A nice line derived from the ongoing Ken Penders drama:

"I grew up with an undiagnosed neurological disorder and a Sega, you can't match my knowledge"

Source:

Based autist dunking on Penders

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Spoiler: Bonus image

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[Yaniv’s Hairy Balls]

Care to put your money where your mouth is, faggot?
2200 EST, 05/28/2020, 4210 Wolfetown Rd, Cherokee, NC 28719
Bring as many of your cowardly friends as you want; I'll go to prison, but all of you will go to the morgue.

No one mentioned the “fite me irl fAgGoT” copypasta?? Y’all slacking.

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

I know Null hates A+H but

My favorite Bill Palmer fact is that baldcuck.com redirects to The Palmer Report.

Is fucking hilarious.

 

[WinnieTheJew]

I belive these from the rodfellows thread are worth it's weight in gold

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https://kiwifarms.st/threads/lmnb-lmn-quadworks-danny-the-irrefutable-darren-pipster-comedy-mix.97626/

"SPIC ASS NIGGER" should be a banner quote.

 

[ImJustHereForShoeJosh]

So a pig and a drunk IP Thot walk into a bathroom

 

[Open Window Maniac]

What if Chris was a nigger?

 

[Lol4loko]

One that was written on one of my posts and has actually helped me personally.

"Worrying about politics is gay."

 

[KiwiFuzz]

We shouldn't want the police abolished, nor should we want them shooting people over Pokemon cards. There's not enough information to say whether it was justified or not, but it doesn't seem likely it was.

 

[A-Stump]

@SiccDicc 'Then he turns you into a little boy he molests.'

 

[Archie_Kimkicker]

And like I said, you're a Nigger.

 

[Two-bit]

Quoted from the vtuber thread. The context is a comment talking about some fatty with a front wedgie who is taking a photo with a vtuber on a tv screen. I highlighted the quote worthy sentences.

Okay, which one of you is this? And why is your gunt eating your left pant leg? And is that lady (?) on the right holding up a phone with a timer on it to so you know when it's time for you to waddle along?

(I like your shoes tho)