random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Pissmaster]

If Jim Cramer tells you to buy a stock, don't touch it with a ten foot pole. If Paul Krugman tells you the macroeconomic forecast is good, get ready for the next Great Depression.

 

[Spud]

You will NEVER be strapped down to a milking table.

You will NEVER have a VR headset of hot anime babes put on your head.

You will NEVER have a bored and disinterested, but sexy, Chinese woman milk you for your seed to boost the Han Chinese birthrate.

I don't know about you gents, but I am rapidly losing reasons to live.

 

[Johnny Salami]

Some people are better in cyberspace and others are better in meatspace.

 

[Migraine Box]

sadly we do not have a thread for people getting tortured with weed whackers

 

[._.]

He didnt reign in his inflation fetish

 

[Gog & Magog]

Quotes from General Chat.

He was nearly homosexulated by a dildocopter

- @Prehistoric Jazz

other peoples' racism being shallow doesn't stop mine from being deep

out of all the times ive put my dick in a chicks ass only one time had poop

- @Muttley

she says she cant date a man shes pegged

- @catcult_empress

But I've done a lot, and I've emboldened my neighors. The only part where I fucked up was a split second after watching the new Avatar movie where I let my primordial wrath get the better of me. And even then, it's a victimless crime.

- @WolfeTone

There’s this fallen tree near my house that’s really pissing me off. I’ve been passing by it every day and yelling at it for being such a shitty stump. Yep, I’m a log alog

-i dont remember who

no one wants to see your goblin porn

Things get fucky when Null goes nini

- @Dialtone

 

[tehpope]

I only cry through my dick.

 

[Random Internet Person]

ChantalLovesKF.mp4

 

[Muttley]

Quotes from General Chat.

- @Prehistoric Jazz


- @Muttley

- @catcult_empress

- @WolfeTone

-i dont remember who


- @Dialtone

lol the one below my name is also me
but I was in fact talking to @catcult_empress

 

[Spud]

Well a black father isn't believable and we're already pushing it with the mermaids.

 

[Baguette Child]

I'm done with this software. The more I use it, the more it makes me angry.

 

[Meat Target]

Just let it crash this time and ill stop bothering you about my foreskin

 

[Gentlebastard]

Not everything is a conspiracy. Sometimes a retard says some retarded shit online and gets a well-deserved ass whooping for the efforts.

there is nothing sadistic about some whore getting railed by her dog, merely very very degenerate

You're no longer addicted if you're dead.

What did you think was going to happen if you mangled your genitals, you dumb shit? Actually the better slur would be "numbnuts."

Making a fool of yourself isnt "trolling" trolling is what your mother did when she decided not to abort your malfunctioning ass.

You just know he wrote this speech-to-text during the actual film in a crowded theater.

Dogfuckers or animalfuckers in general are so degenerate in nature. I don't really understand them. Than I realized that's probably a good thing.

Come out ye black and trans.
You can't gaslight me.
You're a man.

And they wonder why guys react poorly when they find out they just fucked an open wound instead of an actual sex organ.

Being rejected by the filthiest and most degenerate troons in history? A pack of troons which includes Kevvie Gibes?

That has to be the worst indicator you have an off-putting personality and are sexually unattractive to anyone.

IIRC he's a polyamorous, bisexual, bipolar gun sperg who lived (lives?) in some sort of radical leftist prepper commune outside of Portland, OR. The thought of societal collapse/a second civil war is his ultimate coom.

 

[Law]

You may notice a trend of stacked malt liquor boxes as furniture. Literally every video he films in his house has these, no matter what room it's in.

This had me howling. Whole thread has great random text potential.

 

[Aunt Carol]

She is in a vortex of heterosexuality that she will never be able to escape.

 

[PhoBingas]

It's this kind of body horror that keeps me up at night. What if I have a male twin inside me? Does that make me gay?

 

[vomitusdeux]

The unclit is keeping the dimensional merge contained.

Gay men don't want to play with boobs and vaginas, mindblowing.

It even looks the same. you are all chat trannies one and all.

Like… she used to be a “findomme” and did CBT but she thinks it wasn’t sex work because she just stepped on a guys balls.

Their weak and small shoulders cannot bear the burden of being an unstoppable rape machine like their counterparts. Atlas Pooned.

No no no. I've already answered this. First you blow the load, then you pour the cereal and take a nap.

I think you mean a Nigger bottle

Honestly, anyone who gives me a bad sticker on my posts is probably fist deep in two kids right now.

Women can molest just as well as any man!

Racemixing is way worse than a female teacher banging some horny teen...

In other news, Praetor is selling tasers to folks with Chris's name on them and will soon be joining our Lord and Savior in jail cell when some kid gets a hold of it and zaps his nuts off.

the baby will be born half mexican and will be named Chipotle after its daddy

Oh no, hide Barb's pussy.

I don't know what I expected but somehow I still feel psychic pain after witnessing hairy grown men in children's diapers.

Hold up, I need to send him a link to this minecraft mod first....

Do not look up how they are used.
DO NOT DO THAT.
I regret.
They are popular in anal play by fags, when they pop them out it looks much like a cow giving birth with how much it pulls anus out and then inverts the gut outside.

God is dead and the troons killed him

I can imagine when caden was a kid and the teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grows up and said he wanted to sell random garbage from a fat incest committing retard with a lego and mlp fetish.

Those Tit gels were on his stomach.
Are you suggesting that now the Deity has a set of tits on his stomach to further get into the furry community?

Twitter isn't the place for someone who has a thirst for trans blood like me.

I mean, she got rape out of it as well. I don't know if that's really a good trade.

I'm not the greatest artist, but gee, get a life already, ya'll lost your scare factor when you went and said Toot Toot.

Adults don't say toot toot you big dumb baby.

I am quoting the others who said it on the other part of this thread, I KNOW ADULTS DON'T SAY TOOT -TOOT.

 

[Blackhole]

"Do you love god? ueughf no i love the niggers go fuck yourself" -saint terry a davis

Teams of FREEDOM FIGHTERS to liberate us from the tyranny of STRECHED, MARKED MALES

 

[umami's milk]

To add to this.

SONIC'S DICK IS NOT BLUE!

 

[Zero Day Defense]

I hate the "spoons" assholes so much, this pussy-ass pansy-ass generation is so lame. "I don't have enough spoons" - bitch, here's a knife, go slit your wrists and shut the fuck up.