random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Aunt Carol]

PL: Own a gigantic penis.

 

[Meat Target]

Tbf it's Wales, the beastiality was probably mitigation

 

[Flexo]

I could have gone my whole life without knowing that.

Forget random_text - that should be the site motto.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Do they know how many sinks this man has? He is not the type to take direction.

I do love you niggers. Even the ones I hate.

I wonder how the judge would react to the news that a national collective of concerned citizens was offering to foot the bill of livestreaming this hearing in HD video and surround sound.

Because when I want insight into movies that are glorified toy ads aimed at prepubescent girls, I ask a 43-year-old unemployed barfly who threatened to kill his own daughter and pals around with nonces.

Imagine thinking you're somehow saving face by publicly rolling around in your own shit oinking over and over.

It would be the funniest pairing of retards since the Odd Couple

The prosecution will present him being a retard on Twitter and, essentially, just look at the judge and go "I mean, seriously, look at this shit. Just look at it."

If he goes to jail, I am absolutely going to use his mugshot as a Halloween mask. I will wear a butchers costume and oink, scaring children by telling them I'm the Pepperoni Pigman of Milwaukee! If you are a child, and are at least mildly melanated, I will turn you into pepperoni, quake in fear!!

Simply declare the judge a stalker child and you will emerge victorious

i feel like a kid at the beginning of december. i know christmas is soon. but not soon enough.

what will the present be? will they record him with tears in his eyes as his funko pops and rustang are repossessed? will he admit in court that he does owe the money? will he refuse to admit it and go to jail? will he child the judge?

i dont want to wait. i want to open the present now.

not even the most faggot of nigger is gonna rape that fatso i think he is good. if i can go through 10 years of altar boying and not get raped, he can go through 2 months of jail

the sacred and the propane

Would a glownigger have 3 Louisiana birth certificates laying around?

Trying to indoctrinate autists via the crossword makes sense as a strategy, but I would like to hear what the newspaper puzzle grandparents think about this.

 

[Tacgnol]

The autopsy that said her anus was unremarkable.

 

[Useful_Mistake]

"I never forget a penis" - @Useful_Mistake

how many russell penis pics do you think there are

 

[Absurdist Laughter]

If autism was a face.

 

[Osama Bin Laden]

Jesus Christ, she's 20 years old and looks like some kind of goddamn pudgy little fetal-alcohol fuckmidget. Imagine this thing crawling around at the foot of your bed. You'd need to call a priest and have him bring the extra-strength holy water.

Appalachia is literally worse than Haiti

 

[Gentlebastard]

I can't believe I am saying this but Rio 2016 was probably less dangerous than Paris 2024.

i'm always up to read some good ol' schizo ranting

comments like this make me realize that maybe the final solution was the only solution

Fuck spiral light bulbs, they activate the autistic portion of my brain (all of it).

Fattrick's Razor (™), which is now set in stone: Presented with any choice of action, Piggy will always go for the most retarded one possible.

This is a scene that could only take place in a Chaplin/Buster Keaton film, but it took place in real life. Picture that and see your ribs dissipate in thin air.

This is historic, real psychiatrists should be notified of this case: we are witnessing an Ignatious Swinely of a man who has ruined his life and is at the edge of going to jail only because he cannot stop trying to pretend he is a tough guy on the internet.

I want to see this tweet make it into an amended filing.

Defendant Patrick S. Tomlinson still denies owing Quasi money, even as he argues with his own toilet on social media.

all i can think of looking at her in that pic is plantation houses and the sound of whips cracking

Imagine a world where China and Japan go to war over who gets to be the global supplier of chinky cartoons.

 

[ComStar]

Two of 'em, both from Deadwood

"Pain or damage don't end the world. Or despair, or fucking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man... and give some back."

"Announcing your plans is a good way to hear God laugh."

 

[AnOminous]

Two of 'em, both from Deadwood

"Pain or damage don't end the world. Or despair, or fucking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man... and give some back."

"Announcing your plans is a good way to hear God laugh."

"I may have fucked up my life flatter than hammered shit, but I am beholden to no human cocksucker."

 

[ロボ﹏§¤r﹏h¶rœ]

you fucking faggots are all a pack of journos

 

[Meat Target]

Either post videos of niggers eating each other, or go away.

 

[MrJokerRager]

"Islam: The New Face of White Christian Supremacy."

 

[Pedophobe]

We aren't the ones doing this, we are simply just noticing.

That Wombat looks like it's judging us.

This story may be bullshit, but I believe it.

*HER penis, you bigot

 

[Poonocchio]

We know what Elliot had, it wasn't consent, he had rape.

 

[Gog & Magog]

The official reason for firing me was “poor judgment” and “continuing to engage online.”

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

A cute monkey is still a monkey. That's like calling Kim Possible 'hot'. It means your brain is broken.

 

[Neo-Nazi Rich Evans]

Have any of your posts ever been used for random_text.txt?

 

[Gentlebastard]

"Guys, guys, it's finally time to stop the 400 person block parties, street racing, crack dealing, and 37 shootings a weekend.

We have guests!"

Have you considered barricading all possible exits and lighting the building on fire?

Imagine being too lawless for niggers.

Three: Squeegee niggers are scum and it should be legal to run them down with your car or shoot at them.

Now he’s going to have to decide which black cock has the better mouthfeel.

as much as he wants it to be, making fun of his obesity and his stupidity is not a crime

only the gov is allowed to put fucking AIDs in my food

It's always funny to me when people immediately brush off good advice and continue to do the same thing that has gotten them only negative results.

We refer to these people as “Lolcows.”

Fucking christ. Why do so many cows eat cum like substances?

Maybe Null was wrong to hate on the Bri'ish so much, TERF Island is real.

This was already pathetic. Then it became desperate. By this point, it's something truly transcendent.

This is a man who was weeping for joy during rehab when he finally got to move his paralyzed arm for the first time in years. And now, due to sheer neglect and gluttony, his limb is reduced to looking like the bony nub of an eaten chicken wing.

Why the fuck would employers want to know about your 20 mental disorders and where to find your nudes?

It's one of his most impressive traits as a cow: he never stops being a cunt.