random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

Source: your anal phase

 

[Gentlebastard]

There’s nothing wrong with giving your kids 40k nicknames, I mean who hasn’t shooped a photo of their child into the god emperor when they’re having a megalomaniac moment and look like they’re about to go conquer a planet?

I can barely trust my straight male friends to not put something in my butt for a laugh if I passed out drunk around them. Why would I risk my backdoor's virginity to a known buggerer?

I'm a literal sperg and I have better people skills than this loser.

Obviously the solution is to make sexual harassment double extra super no-takesy-backsies illegal.

What filth, i long ago stopped asking myself what's wrong with the poos, the only correct answer to that is "a fucking lot".

Just scorch this entire fucking planet. Maybe whatever intelligent organism evolves next can do a little better.

I post on KF which probably qualifies me for a stint in a mental institution

If we're gonna destroy the earth to save it, at least dump all the toxic waste this'll produce in major population centers, so that the bugmen can't be insulated from the dark fruits of their self-proclaimed "virtues".

You have to meet people where they are, and most people are in the tard bin.

From other stories and rumors, political party orgies, or wife swapping are apparently a thing. Just not usually filmed. Not that most people would want to see Pelosi's skills at a reach around. But then again, she's had 50 years to perfect it. Maybe the porn stars would learn something.

Is there ever a good time to tell people that you're a total batshit lunatic?

I want him to shine as bright as possible just so his dad seethes.

Lmao you doxed yourself to a tranny to play a porn mod.

All Null has to do is pay an unhappy third world prostitute to suck his penis while doing MATI and the site will be safe.

It just keeps churning, this monolith of suffering. It never ends, the misery, the pain, the humiliation, the isolation, the fear, it just keeps on going. Welcome to the world, It's REALLY fucking gay at times.

I refuse to save Splatoon porn on my computer.

Ladies and gentlemen, I could not have laughed harder. This poon is a fucking bug chaser

It's my God-given right to get STDs - and to prevent me from doing so is transphobic!

Sexual autonomy means that I have the right to catch chlamydia, thank you very much!

 

[Azdy]

While I’ve always liked furry porn, I didn’t start getting into…….certain things……until I was browsing FA while high as a kite one day and something down there moved…..

 

[The Skeksis Emperor]

It isn't even a dystopia, it is a durrstopia.

 

[Testacles Maximus]

“My eyes are closed. I’m starting to feel the zen. The muscles are relaxing. My third eye opens… my brown eye opens… a small turd just falls right out… the horror… the horror”.

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

Do I have to spell out that this doesn't take into account external factors? Like, don't sleep naked with your nieces? Common sense, nigger.

 

[Useful_Mistake]

Looks like Mitt Romney will not be running for re-election, leaving office without destroying KF

 

[Stan]

Miscegenation is based. Genocide is cringe.

 

[Generic Anime Girl]

the babygirlification of Joshua Connor Moon

 

[Grub]

Imagine drinking the Carbonated Jew.

 

[Seafarer]

kiwifarms entire concept started out as one big man-hate thread.

 

[SuperShibuyaFighter]

Reddit is a fanfiction website now. Everything posted there is someone's poorly written Creative Writing 101 homework.

Everything there is fake. Including the women, they're all dudes. The men are dudes the women are dudes pretending to be women, the MTFs are mentally ill dudes and the FTM are Doods.

This one got a chuckle out of me at the end

 

[The Cunting Death]

The fuck is a Rape Roleplay Club?

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Woah I suddenly love shitty horror games made by unbearable communist trannies.

 

[Lurker]

like Garfield’s ass had the shining

 

[Kermit Jizz]

Whatever, I was raised by niggers

 

[Pedophobe]

I prefer random.txts that are more succinct in their humor/insanity, like an autistic fortune cookie.

Most likely her sexuality is attention whore.

May Gosh have mercy on your soul.

Not just the “right-wing” media. Not just the “left-wing” media. Journalists always lie.

 

[DrNow]

I had a belvita last week as a true and honest woman, am I a belvita babe?

 

[I'm Retarded?]

How can a man trade his life, his precious life, for anus?

 

[Gentlebastard]

I think we need to expand the pool of people that qualify for the Day of Rope

Two walking chemical cocktails commingling
what can possibly go wrong?

Pat's wife is the type of woman who (presumably) willingly marries someone like Pat. It's no wonder Pat wants to stay away from her.

a real life tough guy even back then. When the kindergarten girls called him a fatty poop head, he only cried for three hours!

Have you perhaps considered, even for a moment that those women enjoyed being brutally abused for the enjoyment of degenerate coomers? Did that thought ever cross your mind? No, I didn’t think so.

Man, why is my entire audience made up of horny men? Could it be my FAT FUCKING TITS? My FAT FUCKING TITS that I post on the Internet, knowing for an absolute that horny men love FAT FUCKING TITS. Surly they just like to see my pictures of clouds and mountains and aren't only following me for my FAT FUCKING TITS.