random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[cherrysour]

All lib fems do is dick pander.

very long, dangly, dark roast beef flaps

Then she posted pregnancy lewds. So fuck her. She’s also vegan.

 

[Skitarii]

Leonardo do caprio got his dick zapped by a toaster and it inspired him to paint the Mona Lisa shortly thereafter

 

[Aunt Carol]

Being close to an ex-owner of not one but two whore bars in thailand, I know for a fact that as soon as the ladyboys who work there get the chop, they lose almost all their Johns.

^this one isn't funny but it's a good random fact, like eating a string cheese and the fact on the side tells you something about giraffes.

It works but the aftertaste of raw egg lingers for a while in your throat. I will edit my post to reflect that

Look, I love me some penises -- they're great!

Haha don’t send me any dick pics sillys, I definitely won’t post them anywhere else

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

The ginger genocide is sadder than the Holocaust.

"I got a diaper nigga" is random.txt worthy

All the horrifying pedo shit aside, why the fuck does he have so many $2 bills?

I am treeified to think what will become more normal yet I already know what it will be

Pokeymon autism is a hell of a drug. So is meth.

How many people can say they've sexually assaulted a stuffed animal?

How many people can say they've sexually assaulted a stuffed animal?

I'd be willing to bet a disheartening number of people, unfortunately.

What meth does to a mf

Somehow this is LESS surprising than Chris raping Snorlax.

Now just wait until you read about the man behind that used diaper.

I say the word “nigger” every day of my life and theres nothing anyone can do to stop me.

Rename this thread to "I want to have sex with Miyamoto and Iwata's corpse"

It's part of sex prep for homos who have homo sex with men.

Damn I love being a brown white supremacist then.

Harry Potter And The Dangerous Dildo

Today I learned; Blindness isn't the worst thing to happen to your eyesight.

The real story here is that a mentally ill person brought a pair of testicles into a public ladies room.

My question is-
Did she really have to do it while dressed up as Ash Ketchum?

>nazi cannibals
How can they be cannibals if they're eating things they don't see as human?

I hope everyone in this thread gets armadillo leprosy.

You are on literal kiwifarms

I've never seen moths described as slutty, but it fits

Pokemon in particular is incredibly notorious for getting increasingly more shit over time introducing new features and removing them in the next game. The bright side is most of them suck anyway so you're not missing much.

Do I strike you as a bud light drinker?

What the fuck does Mrs. Doubtfire have to do with raping children?

And FloridaMen raping alligators.

This thread is about men wanting to fuck women and still managed to be one of the gayest things I've ever read.

And on the seventh day God relaxed to black and white softcore porn.

Can we please stop sperging about Richard Simmons?

George Washington would have been raping slave boys just like anyone else and still would call you a nigger faggot.

Airplane seats are so cramped I could touch the people sitting next to me with my dick and this nigga is trying to jack it without anybody noticing.

What a king.

Why did you write this? Did you write this? I hope this is a copypasta

This isn't the human breeding thread.

Some unironically believed in pussy magic.

IIRC the quote was less about being "asexual" reproduction or otherwise and more "he's a fucking kids comedy cartoon character" butI'm too lazy to look up the exact thing right now.

Kaiser, the proud sponsor of the Amhole.

Sir this is a Christian girl Minecraft server.

he's right though. my nipples are hypnotic. i have to cover them with pasties when i get out of the shower so i dont accidentally see them in the mirror. i almost missed an interview once because of these damned things.

I'm sure the War on Masturbation you want to wage will end up as well as the War on Drugs did.

even Amish men have secret phones to watch porn on

VS on life support after losing all those pro-Palestinian lingerie sales

Is this the first time a dead baby race been started online?

You don't get to talk about milking some dead dude and just insult anyone that mentions "hey that's weird" like they are talking about something normal.

ALIVE, YES! You're out here talking about jerking off some dead dude's dick and acting like it's normal.
I'd be mighty careful who you are calling an autistic virgin there bud.

Why do you retards keep talking about jerking off dead cocks? Is this your inner gay coming out? I think this has been repeated like five times now verbatim. Like that's the only relevant thing to you, there is a cock and it's dead and you can't stop thinking about it.

And YES, on some level this is normal. The husband can have the sperm frozen for the future including the future in which he is dead, which people routinely do due to terminal illness. You're chimping out at this like the entire idea is foreign and this is 1890.

 

[Haffhart]

"Why would a series about Dracula have to take place in Romania?" I want to fucking scream.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I've won Star Trek trivia contests against other trekkies.

 

[RACISM]

You literally didn’t read a single thing i wrote did you? You instead go for the most bottom of the barrel ‘lol you shit yourself’ jokes I’ve seen all before. Most predictable fucking response imaginable lol keep seething wagie.

 

[I'm Retarded?]

My pussy drips wet with pleasure thinking about male abuse “victims”.

 

[DiggieSmalls]

You are quite literally fucking retarded if you actually want to film yourself bathing to prove something to people who are saying shit just to make you mad. Where is your tard wrangler? How are you so fucking stupid to not realize that people are saying shit just to make you respond? Take your disability and get off the fucking Internet for your own sake.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Remember to SMASH THAT DISLIKE BUTTON whenever any hint of tranny worship comes up in a video.

 

[Kendall Motor Oil]

"I don't care what a bunch of low-intelligence people think about my innocence," Gariépy told Newsweek.

JF Gariépy
If he's convicted, this would be fun to add to the quote rotation

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

But he'd be digested and shat out. Which is literally what he's worth.

 

[Skitarii]

I'm not a lolcow

Accept your lolcowdom and homosexuality.

I'm not gay, I'm not Greek, I'm not lolcow, I'm not faggot

nobody calls me ''gay, lolcow, faggot, austic', greece'

You are wrong about me Bill, i am not jewish and i am not gay

you're a massive greek faggot for sending dick pics to girls and telling them to kill themselves in the name of Allah

 

[Hitlerswag420]

It's tougher than you'd think to get a decent AI artwork of Shane about to be raped with a butter knife.
View attachment 5411460

 

[Gentlebastard]

If a Walmart floor employee expected me to call them sir or madam while I was shopping, I would have them taken out to the car park to be summarily executed.

Getting ideas above their station is not seemly.

This is nothing to do with gender, this is them knowing their place in the pecking order of life!

Patrick is an author in the same way that me writing the word “nigger” over and over again on Kiwi Farms makes me an author.

your "WIP" appears to be getting in Xitter arguments with your fucking toilet

Getting Skynetted sounds like salvation at this point.

Daily reminder


Fuck Henry Kissinger

Honestly, I'm just looking forward to arguments about which Linux distro to install on your sexbot, and the equivalent for AGI models.

I mean it’s not beheading children and abducting innocent civilians but this sort of thing is pretty annoying too.

A Christian Group Is Promoting An Alternative To Halloween — 'JesusWeen' Where People Wear White & Pass Out Bibles

Look, I like Jesus but this is a gay idea.
I’m going to dress as some superhero to show off the gainz and make fun of fat witches and you can’t stop me.

Edit: HE FUCKING PULLED A KITKAT FROM HIS FAT FOLDS, YOU GUYS. YOU G U Y S

I love how the Internet thinks we're Nazis, Communists, terrorists, murderers, and every bad thing, and we're really just Statler and Waldorf jeering from the balcony.

You know, after all is said and done I like that pooners adopt rats. They are intelligent, curious creatures (the rats). The chaos potatoes deserve to smell strange things like a hormone addled alphabet person.

Friendly reminder for all trans women to remember to visit their doctor for a prostate check!

"Tenacious Unicorn Ranch Documentary"

TURD.

haha.

it's close-minded to not want someone else's dick in your wife

Would the poor sod find himself blamed for all of the misery inflicted upon Patrick over the years, or would he become the first stalker in history who files for a restraining order to protect him from his victim?

I wasn't based enough to get doxed by the hate van

I love the doxmobile so much. Thank you based clown world.

I googled the author and have deemed her worthy of mating with me.

Has anything profound ever come from someone who describes themselves using a PornHub search term?

Your niggerness is impressive.

I appreciate a 'Midwest Polite' evisceration whenever I see it.

O.K. The orangatexts actually got a real life laugh out of me. Thats right up there with wookietexting and the lizard king.

It's absolutely insane, no normal person would act like this.

Then again, no normal person has a Kiwi Farms thread.

Question for the gentleman, is hopping on Facebook with Dad to ask for new ways to tuck your balls into your body normal father son bonding?

There's a disturbing amount of TIFs out there who want to be misgendered and force-bred. They're like the female equivalent of that one troon who wants to force women into breeding camps.

 

[Norman B. Normal]

"it's a little late to do anything for this particular cow"

 

[Kalsarikännit]

Courtesy of general chat.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

if I can weaponize my autism to improve my chances of getting shit done, the better.

Who is your barber? Is he a drunk?

 

[Illuminati Order Official]

Gayer than a rainbow covered dildo being rammed up Elton John's asshole by Freddie Mercurie's lubed sparkly mushroom kingdom toadstool cock

 

[zyclonPD]

Courtesy of me I guess.
@zyclonPD 11:32:21 PM
I don't normally condone mass shootings but in this case I'll make an exception