random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Solomon Bundy]

I like retards, there is nothing more satisfying than to go caveman with a potato.

 

[vomitusdeux]

I’m not fat and I look like a dyke.

A friend of mine said I looked like a white, chadly version of the guy behind the chudjak meme.
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Amberlynn and I are BASICALLY twins. Eat your heart out.

Fucker used to be known as Arukan and got burned by 4chan's diaper threads on /d/ so hard, he became a tranny communist drug addict.
There is some decent evidence that the guy grooms kids to be part of his "diaper tranny polycule" whatever the fuck that even means.

What in the autismal fuck did I just read here?

Rate it "late" all you want, but "crash bandicoot incest porn" has the same energy as "dead gay muppet gangbang"

Holy shit, that unlimited sense of entitlement. "People are disgusted by feces, so they are literally HITLER and must DIE." Cluster B Disorder for sure.

Man, I've never lost interesting in something faster since the Ultrakill Buttplug addon.

Oh so we can't tell him to eat shit, because he probably would.

Those bitches in Style & Beauty are absolute Nazis.

still jealous his brother is clapping thicc nubian buttcheeks

I don't have a Yiddish dindu screaming at me over here.

"Sandy we're going to have to let you go. A concerned caller showed us your kiwifarms post history. While we do like your cat, saying 'round house kick niggers' isn't something that aligns with our companies values."

I didn't know they had a clinical name and diagnosis for "nigga moments"

What is his usual job, professional diaper-shitter?

Round house kicking Niggers aligns my company's values instead. You're hired!

If you're implying that upon reading this headline you immediately started thinking about black men raping another man, then yes, mutt's law absolutely applies. To you.

Only a good man with a switch can stop a bad man with a switch.

They have made it illegal to give a nigger a iq test in California, soon everywhere. Now why would they do that?

Are you telling me it wasn't a deprived environment and lack of access to nutritious food, social support networks and affirmation? It was because he was a goddamn nigger???

I'd sooner walk around town with a dakimakura and tell everyone she's my girlfriend than shit myself for fun.

What if self destructs when it cums.

Would fucking koffing be like having sex with Chris?

"DO NOT USE MY IMAGE IT IS A DMCA WAITING TO HAPPEN. THAT MEANS YOU KIWIFARMS. I WILL DMCA YOU AND ASK NULL TO TAKE IT DOWN. I AM SICK OF PEOPLE MAKING MY ART INTO A JOKE WHEN IT'S NOT STOLEN.

POSTING MY IMAGE MEANS I HOPE THAT PEOPLE WILL WATCH THE ABOVE VIDEO TO SEE THAT I DO NOT TRACE, REFRENCE, OR BASE MY ART. DO NOT TAKE MY VIDEO, IT HAS MY NAME ON IT FOR A REASON. "

Walking dishwashers going to kill us? oh no...

I'd have to reluctantly pick Gardevoir. It at least looks vaguely human and feminine, though I'd still probably catch a disease or become mentally ill in the process.

The 2020s is a retard millionaire nigger screaming incoherently at you while you boot up your browser at work in the morning.

Smollett is FINE PROOF that the poorest Appalachian white man commits less crime than the richest nigger living in Beverly Hills. Dang, Jontron was right.

For a bunch of right wing manly men, you all sure talk about big black cocks and gay rape a lot

I don't know who told you this, but that's a crock of shit. Negresses are just as violent as their male counter parts and I'd argue even more prone to starting shit.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

he looks like an anthropomorphic personification of a rectangle.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Kiwi Farms has been a case study in showing up to court & filing your paperwork properly to avoid long term consequences.

 

[Azdy]

You have asbergers fuck boy

How am I an autist if I passed 3 college sociology classes?

You've probably never done anal with a woman before

 

[Mad_Dog]

Predictably, pointing out he stinks like shit is transphobia.

 

[Harshnip]

We need to kill the president and his congressmxn.

 

[Gravemind]

I GO HARD IN THE FUCKING PAINT

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

Lesbianism is only acceptable if the two girls making-out with one another are hot.

 

[BirdUp]

*AUTISTIC (I CANT BELIEVE IT!* SCREAMING*

 

[Gentlebastard]

And if we've learned anything it's that the younger generations are irredeemably fucking retarded

Bow down to your new butthole licking overlords.

No gods, no masters. No law but Poe's Law!

an attention-seeking narcissist who desperately wishes he was interesting enough to be psychotic

honestly this just seems like run of the mill everyday lunacy, there's always someone doing something like this in every situation and this was by far one of the calmer naked public weirdos i've seen

Please ignore the mass grave.

Either he admits he's blind, admits he's an idiot or admits his brain can't hold a fact for more than ten minutes. He went with the rotten brain for some reason.

Good luck fucking a woman with your flaccid Cronenberg tube lil’ pooner

Can you even get AIDS from scissoring?

If every redditor suddenly dropped dead right now the world will instantly become a much better place.

"I was asleep when I stuck my dick in you" is perhaps the most incredible lie since "Hey babe, my shirt's chafing me."

As always, all of the people in this story have yellow teeth.

The problem is a lot of people prefer to be miserable than alone, which is what this thread constantly proves.

I don't think that he ever claimed to be anything other than what he was, i.e. a retarded faggot.

Jesus Christ, I thought I'd seen it all but this one made me audibly gasp in shock. Those are the eyes of a monster.

I’m not marrying a man without a hefty transition clause written into the prenup. I don’t even want kids. I just don’t want to deal with gender idolatry in my marriage.

Sociopathic motherfucker. He looks kinda kikeish but is he actually jewish?

 

[Tablet County]

Journalists deserve to be promoted to the Astral Plane for their activities.

Your fridge may contain feds, they may force you to take meds!

Yes I would like to order one Great Satan Burger please.

 

[Gog & Magog]

Forget feminine, he doesn't even look human. Between his head, his shoulders, his gut, and his massive feet, he looks like an anthropomorphic personification of a rectangle.

Unfair. Rectangles have four right angles. There is no angle from which Dong Jones looks right

 

[CansOfCant]

Ok it passed as I learned that words like faggot and tranny are automatically censored even if you use them correctly when talking to homosexuals and autists.

 

[Vyse Inglebard]

In any case, /u/bulinger96 also called someone a "heteronormative fuckfaced pleb" and got banned from a subreddit for it.

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

I want to call people niggers in an online lobby but that just gets me banned now

Fucking pussies

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

A car crash. After which I wake up in a hospital where the doctors tell me I am effectively quadriplegic. Further questioning reveals they implanted a new type of brainchip in me, I would regain mobility as long as I pay subscription fee to Elon Musk. This subscription fee will increase every year while the service gets shittier and shittier until I can only speak McDonald's slogans. Refusing the service automatically downgrades it to the free version which now blasts advertisements straight into my brain while I slowly starve to death as the motion service tm is only for subscribers.

And so one day Lucifer, who had a blond hair piece and a spray on tan, approached the duly-elected God and proclaimed "I'm going to make Heaven great again!' Thus he waged his war on Democracy. But thanks to the power of queer butt sex, God was able to expel Lucifer and his fascist hoardes were cast into hell.

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

Don't lick on the word chat itself, just the bar.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

A kid has no clue what to make of tentacle loli rape.

 

[Tablet County]

I like my controllers like I like my women.
Symmetrical.

You can reuse rope, but why use rope if you can use the cute and funny woodchipper.

Two of the most virulently anti-troon political figures in Florida have been outed as two legs of a threesome.

I think that's interesting.

I'd give up video games for titties if I didn't have to deal with the bitches.

"Okay, it might look like a dude buttfucking another dude, but you see, the guy on the bottom is actually a 10,000-year-old female demon who is disguising her vagina as a dude's asshole, so it's perfectly heterosexual."