random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Gangstalker #32194]

The fact is all politics is retarded in decaying late stage empires and thus all people who would rather fight about culture than economics and hard policy are the useful idiots keeping the public distracted from the horrors unleashed by their fully bipartisan elite.

 

[RealMuthaForYa]

KFarmers have more cheek than a nigger with a trumpet.

 

[Aunt Carol]

She looks like a fortune-telling pedophile.

She looks like she'd sell you a mogwai in some underground chingchong opium brothel while secretly dosing you with Bromo-dragonFLY.

She looks like she got in a car crash with an interior decorator and a truck full of hair removal cream.

She looks like she was tortured and molested by a 1970s cult and part of her torture was to dress up like the guru.

She looks like the shady character giving you lip injections and the TV in the background of the hair salon is playing the news station and they're like DANGEROUS MUTANT RAPIST and it's her face on the screen.

She looks like a Mad Max reject because the casting director is like "we're going for post-apocalyptic, not Borat's brother, the coke dealing Amway shill."

She looks like if you rubbed an empty bottle of lube found in a crime scene, this would be the genie that comes out. But instead of 3 wishes you get Kaposi's sarcoma.

 

[Asian tech support]

Probably not smart to admit you have cravings for "Lady" Rackets' used up hole. It's had bottles, ballsacks and God knows what else up it. Hell, after you pull out, your dick might be liable to get arrested for possession.

 

[JustSomeDong]

i'm autistic. i'm proud. i'm... done.

 

[Hopkinsville Goblin]

@Krayt Dragon

It could be that he's just running defense for Hasbro, as Equestria Daily has been proven to be in the pocket of Hasbro before.

 

[Harm]

its "she" not "he"

just kidding british people aren't human

 

[Gentlebastard]

It’s @Null ‘s turn to get pregnant.

It took me so long to see the trumpet. At first, I could only see a large weirdly shaped penis.

Now that he's eating thousands of calories of meat, grease, and salt it'll be any day now before all the damage from his multiple strokes will be cured.

She should join Islam, btw. And instead of a burka, she should wear a fully adapted hazmat suit forever. She'd be happier that way and she would leave us alone (temporary at least).

Do you think he'd also appreciate "jigaboo" as a master class racism? It has that nice old-timey sing-song quality and definitely feels racist even if you aren't familiar with it.

I wish the new owners the best of luck. Imagine owning a piece of lolcow history.

I hope people in the future look back at this generation and be like... what the fuck is wrong with people back then?

Josh is fantastic, and so is a Gouda grilled cheese. Or Groyer.

She's a nasty hefty bag of spite and amusement.

He looks like a standard issue street junkie.

 

[Drip Torch]

Skirt go spinny spinny, but grass don't get cutty-wutty or weeds get plucky-wucky.

 

[Cherry Eyed Hamster]

Yeah okay. Enjoy the nu women, lesbian lol

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

If there's testosterone it's Louisiana flavoured

These past few years have been awful for mangaka. I think Araki is killing them to harvest their blood

Fun (non-penis related) fact about giraffes - they fucking LOVE romaine lettuce

if we’re forced at dildo-point to consume bugs then the first ones I’m eating are your roaches

 

[JustSomeDong]

Brown technically isn't a color if you look at color as visible light reflections. It's a shade of orange, so scientifically Trump is the same color as Ghandi and Mandela and therefore he can say nigger. Only science deniers will disagree.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

A Sonic OC with severe autism?

Is this post pro-pedo or anti-pedo?

Staypuft was stolen like 7 toad generations ago, even if he's miraculously still alive his cum is many versions out of date.

I genuinely cannot comprehend paying 5k for inbred dog cum.

I get that jerking off that creature is probably unpleasant

Going from being a paralyzed fuck to being able to post nigger on basket weaving forums is a superpower

Why is consenting adults having sex a problem?

You need some pussy man. And that's coming from a porn addict reprobate such as myself

please keep your deviant furry fantasies out of the conversation when we’re talking about my penis. it offends him

Just like keeping your penis in your pants, its a good idea to keep it out of conversations too.

Call me old fashioned but I prefer women with no d.

Are you just gonna start sandwich shamming all sandwiches now?

Is a Poptart a Ravioli?

He was an ok Hitler in it and Scarjo was good

The Hitler fandom is one of the few where not knowing canon is necessary.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

My upstairs neighbor is a black dude, and a few days ago I heard his smoke alarm start chirping. I started to feel a creeping sense of dread, wondering how long it would go on for, but after a minute I heard him dragging a chair and then the chirping stopped. I was so proud of him. Breaking generational curses!

A child murderer has my sympathy before Alex Jones ever will. There is nothing that could be done to him that I would not take with popcorn and watch for hours of enjoyment at his pain and suffering.

 

[Lithuophile]

Natasha has a large black dildo super glued to her forehead. Chat is saying it's been in the other contestants. Gross if true. They also put her in buckwheat again while "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion plays.

Putin please just nuke these orcs already

Do you want to be a hecking chud or a valid Quinton?

 

[Haffhart]

Pity the Zoomer. They know not why they Zoom.

She looks like one of those old european dolls

she does come across as kind of socially retarded or at least terminally Finnish.

I always knew that Harris and Klebold would have survived were it not for their lack of a melee party member

Technically The Great Gatzby is about a guy who became a betabux in order to finally get his oneitis only for Chad to cuck his vehicle and run over the Becky he was banging. Just like irl Chad fucking gets away with it too

Never become a Long Island Socialite as a sub 5 male feelsbadman

Jesus Christ could be born again tomorrow and he’d post some video about its effects on the “ensuing incel uprising” or something like that.

"My heckin dude aren't we like past the hecking chungus of a conversation that is incels. Bruh that discussion were like born from cringe my heckin brother in christirino"

Robojanny won't be able to cope when I turn on NIGGERGPT. It can insult 9,500 ethnic groups in their own languages in under a picosecond.

 

[Sundae]

 

[Dr. Butt]

I'm a Jew.
You're a Jew.
EVERYTHING'S A JEW!!

literally no one cares about pooners

He can flex on his lesbian polycule where one of them isn't even fat.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

starting to think you're not an AI, just 15 pajeets in one room

I have no idea why you simpletons think I am Indian other than the fact that I don't want to have sex with obese, elderly conmen like you

16 pajeets in a room

It starts with the healing crystals and it ends with ritual sacrifice to Baal

 

[Tablet County]

"No, child," Patrick muttered, his voice nearly as thick as his waistline.