random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Gentlebastard]

This is not a thread about the futile act of trying to top the term "moon crickets."

Give up, guys.

I'm pretty sure when somebody tries to molest a child, a popup magically appears irl and makes them either sign in to reddit or register an account.

Oh yeah. He got us good. We're so owned looking at him eat a cold steak with half a pound of butter on it. We might as well just pack it up now and leave because we will never live down this for the rest of time.

Anyone who isn't black keeps how they feel towards black people to themselves the but all the black employees instantly turn into uncle ruckus once out of sight of customers. Funniest event that I saw was a coworker making clicking sounds at a customer while calling them a nigger.

"Hello"
"No, stalker."

>You vil be ze white nerdy Massa Chief,
>You vil be seduced by beautiful Black girls,
>And, You vil be ze happy.

This was like giving Ralph Wiggum a katana and a pair of running shoes.

My life was so much better before reading this

Opening a reddit tab in my browser the other day and keeping it around was the best decision, it’s like shooting fish in a barrel. You can just refresh r/MtF and be equal parts amused, disgusted, entertained and horrified- all in one place!

I knew there'd be a day we'll be talking about him so I had a borderline OP write-up on the guy before his drama which I'm just gonna copy-paste the whole thing here from my notepad to clear some things (including my phone memory).

 

[GunCar Gary]

There is no FUCKING way biden gets re-elected. I will eat the hat on it. I will literally shit in my pants, pull off the shitted pants and eat the shitted pants.

 

[Tablet County]

@Hillary Clinton's Ass You forgot

She pulls out her breasts, and she's jugglin' 'em! Look like she's about to fall over.

 

[doodoocaca]

Thank you. I'm a sperg who's special interest is spergs. (and thus I am on the Farms)

 

[NerdShamer]

Please stop reporting threads with the reason being "gay."

 

[Jason "Qriist" Close]

Nigger, you sound tarted. Did you knaw on lead painted rattles, or were you always this tarted?

Are the downvotes in the room with you right now?

Blocking is gay and you are too

You somehow managed a fucking pink triangle with 5 posts Jesus Christ.
I don't know whether to laugh at you or salute you.

Remember: KF is privilege, not a right.

What do you mean? A boss room guarding the treasure room is a very common feature in most rural American households.

You say the children were neglected yet he cancelled 17 out of 18 locals streams to take care of them? Checkmate kiwincels

"Your Honor, I was not neglecting my children—I was maintaining a safe distance from my daughter's threatening aura."

 

[Aunt Carol]

Asking a zoophile Jeffrey Dahmer fan to make a pride flag for people who want to fuck serial killers. Happy Pride season everyone.

 

[Seafarer]

A non-practicing lawyer might say,
"Fan fiction Farms is so gay!"
He'll put up a fight
But KF was right
And the archives to prove it will stay.

 

[vomitusdeux]

I'm not sure if HATEing neopronouns is being implied to equate to underage dog porn but anyway.

They made Kamala look generous. Since when was she in Rocky & Bullwinkle?

Furries of all people should own and know how to use a breaking stick.

How long before you think the person who lost their finger was probably trying to do something sus to a drugged out person.

?¿¿? Adhominem. I don't think my genes are horrible considering I'm rather tall, white, not bad looking, and I have the fantastically rare green eyes and blonde hair.

April, we are sorry for calling you a floor goblin. Agree to release the footage uncensored and all will be forgiven.

Did she take this from inside a Silent Hill dungeon?

Is there some rule that says that in order to be a NATO member you need to have your brain scooped out and replaced by a bucket of horse apples?

Let's face it, pony stalin didn't deserved a redemption arc.

In case anyone still doubted that they hooked up, Vordy explains how he carefully inspected Elaine's "pristine skin" to compare it to the "deepfakes".

No I think it's a bad idea to molest women and then sue them for talking about it.

I'm sure they appreciate a retard who's too autistic for an autism forum tossing them a bone.

In a website whose focus is making fun of mentally ill people you won't be respected if you display behaviors mentally ill people usually have, such a a preference for animated pornography.

So you're saying a Japanese pornstar would rather fuck a black guy than a white guy? Because the black guy is closer to an animal? What the fuck kinda sense does that make?

Pretty sure most black people would agree with you.

Why does Velma look like Peter Griffin?

The medallion and Elaine would cause the dimension merge that Jersh will have to submit to her power as the piss queen

I'm going to use my free speech to call you a faggot.

I am fascinated by the extent of her neckbeard.

Oh, don't worry. I've never inserted my penis into an anus. Bisexuality is not homosexuality. You can like both.

It's not bait. If you're not interested in men you can leave the thread.

Unfortunately I'm too retarded to find a picture of a grey alien typing at a computer so you'll all just have to picture it in your heads.

Emilys femcel lifestyle seems to include liking sex work and drug addiction. Classy.

Guess I'm a faggot then

And it took you an hour and a half to realize this?

I think you should be convicted on 34 TRUE and HONEST charges of being a gigantic homoqueerfaggot.

Ukraine it's illegal to be gay so that's probably one of the highest punishments aside from the anal penetration, which is still at 36% of the way funded.

>random person who likely isn't even a furry drives by with a cybertruck, implying that cybertrucks are everywhere
>some faggot in a mascot costume walks up to your car to tell you that you're banned from their event you didn't want to go to in the first place
>"fuck off lmao"
Going to also point out that this convention specifies the Cybertruck. So much furries probably have the regular Tesla that it'd be pointless to ban Tesla vehicles in general, meaning this is a pointless virtue signal.

Man twitters gotten real fuckin spicy since that African American took over.

Nigger'd "redheads" must make the Kike's little circumcized cocks hard. It's the only explanation for why they do it so much (besides the usual Kalergi/Kavinsky propaganda antics).

Hehe take that foids i am not interested in you . Nobody cares take your pills faggot

Now that's a drug addict you'd bring home to the parents.

I get terms like fudgepacker or queer but turd burglar is like a dude who solicits men for sex, gets them in the proctological exam position, then steals shit from their asshole and runs off into the night

"You want some of this boy pussy? Wait, you're not a turd burglar, are you?"

ass burglar makes more sense. because you're breaking and entering their asshole

Get that dog away from him NOW!!!

He's pretty good friends with Rod (of pain).

I thought that natsutalbot guy made a retarded PA request, this was like watching someone with a severe speech impediment read the Necronomicon outloud.

When I was younger and engaged in a sexual act with another man I would always feel a huge sense of shame and guilt afterwards. Before you ask, no I wasn't raised Christian nor was I raised to be against such sexual vices yet I felt guilty and shameful like I never did before. I think this guilt in itself is almost proof there's a god or greater being or force that engraves law into us all. The experience almost made me become religious. I don't think I'd ever do anything sexual with another man again

That post was more so advice for men interested in engaging with other men and I already feel guilty posting it.

one time I nutted so hard I briefly dissociated and was immediately awash with an overwhelming sense of cosmic love. and when my head stopped swimming and I looked down, the cum spatter on her tits was unmistakably in the shape of the face of Jesus. what do you think this meant, kiwifriends?

Stop the futa porn NOW. Nothing good comes from coomin.

Man, I don't particularly like sandniggers but being taken out by a South-African pooner is rough.

Rhodies Never Die? (they just troon out)

In my heart Jacob dressed up as Sonic and @CoolFool as tails and then she found out he didn't like chilidogs and blocked him.

 

[Meat Target]

The perfect A&N article doesn't exi-

Dr. Goldstein, anal restoration surgeon, wants "no judgment" around anal sex because "everyone’s got a butt and it’s full of rich nerve endings."​

 

[DumbDude43]

Coom in the buum goyim. Any damage done just visit trusty old doc goldstein, he'll get you fixed right up. And at a reasonable price!

 

[Abimelech]

Prove he had sex with them and it wasn't for financial reasons. I know a political marriage is beyond your Mormon hating mind, but fuck off.

 

[barbie meat]

I fucking love cocaine and if you don’t your probably a tranny.

Fetal alcohol syndrome Woody Harrelson dot png

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

You have ceased being entertaining and have passed into the territory of just being cringe.

 

[Johnny Salami]

I jerk off to legal pictures of post autopsy females out of necessity.

 

[Gog & Magog]

i didn't know a lot of those things about Temu. fair enough if you wanna rag on me for not doing my due diligence. maybe the chinese authorities will appreciate my cooperation with their glorious nation's company and give me 1 less hour in the tiger chair when i visit and it'll all be worth it in the end

 

[Party Hat Wurmple]

Jerking off to legal pictures of post autopsy females is pretty low on Maslow's hierarchy of needs tho.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I doubt her counselor is telling her to write rape fanfic.

 

[Buttigieg2020]

Jerking off to legal pictures of post autopsy females is pretty low on Maslow's hierarchy of needs tho.

Fuck, beaten to it.

 

[Pedophobe]

bloated ego clashes with the consequences of obese stupidity

The Milk Must Flow.

I really worry about some of you. I truly do.