random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

It's far back in the thread but someone posted an article about how a semi-popular MILF pornstar with a seemingly functioning life now lives in the sewers and has a hobo boyfriend.

The boobs remind me of Keffels.

I remember that doujin.

Watched some VR porn. They literally all have hemorrhoids.

Oh wow, it's so wonderful. Just so convenient. Just so inconsistent. I wonder why it lost viewers.

Let me just say: I love retard wars.

The Brazilians have higher standards than the Swiss, we sure live in interesting times.

Like you've never made some bad business choices after a long night of drinking beer and eating cheese.

>Trump gives the order to kill all soytellectuals
>Anyone caught with a neck beard, thick rimed glasses, flannel shirts, baggy pants, monochrome sweatshirts and ye ye ass haircuts is to be killed

Mein kiwis, I have a request to make. I am periodically in the situation where my mother will text me a meme, and I am forced by filial piety to respond in kind. This inevitably leads to 15 minutes of scrolling to find a safe-for-parent response. So please, share with me your best normie-safe memes, not for me, but for the sake of my beloved mother. (Note: she's an educated woman, so for example a meme referencing the name of Jean-Paul Sartre would not go unappreciated)

Unfortunately, being fat does not stop someone from selling pictures of their asshole on the internet.

It's not "anti-liberty" to demand that the people STEALING MY FUCKING MONEY allegedly to "survive" forgo certain things like SODA AND JUNK FOOD and keep it only to essentials.

You might as well be a furry or a discord tranny where I can't get through a single post of yours without being reminded that, yes, you want to fuck grandmas.

Imagine a danger-hair with AIDS exploding themselves in Wal-mart, forever and ever.

Wait, so if I steal something and possess it, I have to report it as income...what if I sell it, is that income I'm taxed on too?

Seems like double dipping on the IRS' part, very unfair.

You can't plea insanity to tax evasion.

I'm okay with system under which you can have as much Coke as you want--so long as you stay healthy enough to defend your Coke with your life.

Is that Juju the Cow getting fucked in the ass by lego people?

Like you need more fuel for your Amhole erotica.

"Rectal Strangulation" sounds like a killer name for a grindcore band.

I broke my asshole for internet points

Lmao her chin looks like a shaven crotch that's just growing its bush back.

You just know that room stank by about dude ten.

There's something special and uniquely sad about boomer grief.

 

[CaddestSlown]

I don't see any grooming allegations in his future, his degree of esoteric autism is simply too great.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

They are usually gay men who decided to go the extra step to "stick it to the man".

 

[Gentlebastard]

That Beef Wellington is even worse than a war crime. You could show that to the Japanese army occupying Nanking in the 1930's and even they would agree it'd be too cruel to inflict that on anyone.

He doesn’t even know how to be a fat shit.

The one thing he undeniably is.

For sale, one amhole, never dilated.

These people fantasize about sending anyone who said nigger once to a death camp but when it comes to child porn they are suddenly live and let live

A rooftop Korean or a black cop that terrorises Baltimore is more white to me than those fuckers ever will be.

Is he... angry that Hallmark might lose advertisers? Happy? Concerned? Amused? Why does he care so much about Hallmark at all? I'm very confused.

I have my opinions, but no matter where you come down on the issue, Jack is obviously the shittiest ambassador possible for any side's philosophy.

Shaving Cheeto dust into your macaroni and cheese is normal and a requisite for human survival.

"I was bamboozled" lol lmao

I know the answer is "because I'm retarded" but I'd just love to ask these people

He fucked up a recipe that consists of 3 ingredients mixed together, no cooking involved.

The entire conversation has the tone of two TikTok-addicted teenagers pretending to be revolutionaries.

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

How the fuck do you get trench foot without leaving your attic wtf Chance

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

the shitflinging here is so retarded it needs to be recorded for all posterity.

chat is only used by retards. And everyone in this thread is clearly a genius.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

So if anything, white people should be enslaved by blacks, at least until they decide to stop being so hellbound.

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

when the strippers get hungry it means a recession is coming.

 

[Aunt Carol]

However - and this is important - at no time will anyone use "vore" to mean nonsexual eating.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

Classification: CONFIDENTIAL

Dear Nigger / Niggerette,

Please find attached a Nigger from Niggerville related to your Nigger content Nigger assessment duties under the Nigger Faggot Act.

Yours faithfully,
Niggers

 

[Super Malario]

Da fuck??? Oh its Zoey smashing her face into the keyboard. Shine on you psychotic diamond.

 

[Dr. Butt]

He is still a virgin DESPITE VISITING A HOOKER

The “rape” was that his girlfriend broke up with him after sex.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

He did have first dibs on that 12 year old so he was only defending his territory.

Do us all a favor and walk straight into a goomba

 

[DickMain]

"The man, who also suffered from a swelling of his left testicle, said he had not undergone any surgery or suffered rectal trauma."

 

[Dr. Butt]

Don't watch anime. If you do watch anime, stop watching anime.

I suck balls all day just because I like it so much.

 

[Die For Me!]

"Naaaa she cares about the kiiids! Ohhhh goddd, not the kiiiiids! Nooooo! Ohhh godddd da kiiiiids... Noooooo... Puh-LEEAAASSEE... Ohhhh goddd Nooo"

"the rest of you whores are nothing, You're nothing! YOU NEVER WERE ANYTHING, THAT'S WHY YOU'VE BEEN TREATED LIKE SECOND CLASS FUCKING CITIZENS THE WHOLE GOD DAMN HISTORY OF THE FUCKING WORLD! IT WASN'T A FUCKING MISTAKE! IT WASN'T SOME ACCIDENT OF EVOLUTION-- IT'S THE WAY IT SHOULD'VE BEEN DONE!!! AND THERE'S A REALLY GOOD MOTHER FUCKING REASON FOR IT: BECAUSE YOU'RE STUPID AS SHIT! AND YOU CAN'T STOP GETTING RAPED, that's the other reason!"... "SO YOU HAVE TO BE PROTECTED FOR YOUR OWN FUCKING... SAFETY! DUMB BITCH!"

 

[Tablet County]

SEE WHAT HAPPENS HENRY WHEN YOU FUCK YOUR JEWISH STEP BROTHER IN THE ASS!

Stay tuned for next week when a farmer makes the thread on Caillou and why he is grounded, grounded, grounded, grounded…..

Colorado?

It's pretty gay up here. Lots of "loud and proud and won't be silenced" penis extension truck drivers and equally homosexual cops who are too scared to ticket them.

2004: Jack in the Box discontinued the pannido. I spent the rest of the summer in my filthy underwear, crawling over the old newspapers covering my kitchen floor and eating cold pizza off of them, pretending I was a lone survivor wandering the aftermath of Hiroshima.

 

[Sneed's Feed n Seed]

Shitting cum out of your ass and pissing shit out of your dick sounds like just another day in the SRS/GRS horrors thread.

 

[Patrick Bait-man]

I got 19 chicken nuggets in my 20 piece meal. I realized how hollow my existence was and how impermanent everything was. That nothing i did mattered and that every star in the sky will burn out one day leaving the universe to be a cold, black graveyard.

 

[stupid frog]

hope he loses all his money, what the fuck kind of statement is that lmao
"sorry boys this butter is marxist we cant buy it"

For sale, one amhole, never dilated.