random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Jhonson the Two]

nothing's manlier than smelling like absolute ass

 

[Edict of Expulsion]

Here you see a guy who's eyes are so close together he can barely perceive the present, unlike great visionary Joshua Connor Moon who can see at least 1488 possible futures.

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

"Where we're going, we won't need dicks to consent accident."

Wow I just sat around and thought: Women do not have penises

 

[Thé au lait]

When she looked at me with that wall-eyed stare, reached deep into my heart and told me I was a faggot, that's when I knew.

I mean I can't say no to a tard after my own heart.

Well hello there.

This is whitest thread on the farms, ever.

ETA:

you’ve been stalking my profile for months, shitbag. Maybe drop into my dms and flirt. We can be stupid together.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

“Erm, we noticed in your coom-folio that you haven’t jacked off to enough cartoon horses or children.”

 

[Autistic Asparagus]

"Mr. President, a second fat lesbian pedo has hit the beauty parlor"

 

[Spectate]

P.S. I seriously don't wank it to futa OR insects, what the fuck?

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

And you didn't even eat her out first? Rookie mistake. You always go spelunking before you exchange ideas on policy.

Yeah, it's funny that hardcore political sperging is supposed to come after inserting the worm...

Not how 'eating out' works but keep trying, king.

MISSIONARY ONLY WITH THE 20 YEAR OLD ANIME GIRL

Imagine being sober on KF.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

Regardless of current day feminist dogwhistles that's clearly a dyke, dude.

Not all men get to pass on their genes, you ain't got a right to pussy communism.

 

[VeteranOfTheRetardWars]

Bro, have you ever heard what a paragraph is?

 

[Mound Dweller]

Am I the only one who doesn't care if white girls fuck dogs?

 

[Croak & Caw]

His nhentai account has a Saber doujin too. This guy is jacking it to @WelperHelper99 's wife.

 

[Towoman]

You found my porn accounts

I can't stress it enough: My nhentai account isn't mine anymore. What the fuck even are those doujins? I would never even look at any of these tags whatsoever...!

Even if it was however, since you guys found everything else about me, here's my nhentai account, which is still mine however.

Because I am a fucking idiot, and it appears that I've dug myself an even bigger hole. I am not even sure what to do now. Fucking hell...

 

[often puzzled]

ETA: we are on page 7 of boil discussion.

 

[vomitusdeux]

You might be a skizo leech who jacks off to bestiality, amputees and loli, but at least you're not rude.

I think you're the expert here, I'll let you show us how you suck a nigger off.

Do you like your lolis with or without arms? Because there is a right answer.

YO MOMMA SO STUPID

she couldn’t raise a child to not be a PEDOPHILE

genuinely surprised josh and drake figured out how to do a podcast together. i didn't think it would be so simple but they found a way.

i listened to it and i didn't like it at first and you probably won't either but if you just open up your mind you'll see whats inside, it might take some time to realign but if you look inside i'm sure youll find ..

Much like with the catholic church in the middle centuries; every Missourian retains the right to enter a Steak 'n Shake (or Waffle House) and claim sanctuary.
You may not like it, but it's the law.

Dating an AI makes you just look like Plankton with Karen.

you arent my goddamn bathtub
and i DONT. FUCKING. SHIT IN IT

Plz take the jew out of your voice when talking to me thank you

my bathtub is real life and not an Ai generation

cats do NOT have copyright laws

i have done no bathtub abuse
please stop falsely accusing me of these things

i do NOT abuse my house

I don't live in Cali (Because what the fuck kind of retard lives there.)

Tl;Dr: I'm an actual nigger living in the suburbs posting threads about random topics

Wonder what's on his harddrives (other than poop from his hands).

Better to play it safe than get halal'd for joking about watermelon intercourse.

They got banned, probably because they were necroing years old dead threads about their hypnosis fetish.

I WANT PICTURES! PICTURES OF ELON MUSK'S COCK!

It's a face on a watermelon, how is it lolicon. I'm so fucking confused.

think anyone drawing a watermelon with a pacifier needs to be on an FBI watchlist.

Can I get a loli edit of this colony drop to make it more cute

so you’re not a pedo but an adult baby peanut diaper lover instead

I recognize that gay micropenis!

cartels would behead regardless of gender.

Can it do Duck Hunt? No? Then the tariffs stay, and the manchildren mad about it can be sexually deported to the bottom of Mt. Fuji.

"You listen to me. I don't care what you do. If Moscow sees those posts you've made in Karelia, they could condemn Helsinki, and we would have to move out of it?"

if you pull a full art over your homie's casket, does that increase the value when you send it in for a grade?

Garlic will not work if she's Jewish, you'd have to keep a swastika on hand for that case.

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

I saw this episode of The X-Files before they removed it from syndication.

Hope you're ready for some crispy nips!

The NAMBLA attorney added: “I hope this information has been both interesting and helpful to you.”

Of course people are eating at home, why gamble with lunchtime any more?

Stay out of my life and my pee hole, demons

So we have: Wii Tennis instructor, AYY LMAO, Sawdust, Netflix Tombstone, The Spud, Ablackham Lincoln, Secular Harry Potter and Twinkle (the Elder)

This is some little social justice league we have going here

I imagine some old Finn getting winter war flashbacks as he pops some pervitin to try and outrun the Guilldigo while yelling PERKELE

 

[Maki Harukawa]

"and that is NOT immaturity plenty of adults say kys too"

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

Nearly shitting on a motorcycle sounds very dangerous, I look forward to this tale.

I hate the current timeline, why are most people either evil or stupid?

Kiwifarms is the kind of environment where I'm just somehow expected to look past the dissonance of someone who posts on the retard stalking site every day and represents themselves with an anime avatar of a character famous for being the main love interest in a Japanese erotic visual novel with sex scenes featuring high school girls lambasting a different internet addicted neet coomer who jerks off to dickgirl porn for being too degenerate. I'm sorry but I refuse to take anything like that seriously.

What is this site even about? It seems like a three way split between extreme moralfags doing this weird neo puritanism, extreme degenerates that want to stalk and torture homeless people and retards, and parasocials that want to turn Null into Sam Hyde 2.0

I use this site mainly to say nigger while talking about videogames.

That being said I'm not actually a brown rapist who lives on a houseboat, regardless of my superchats (I'm just a regular rapist living on a houseboat.)

It's an awkward mixed of grieving family members and autistic gamers playing Melee at the funeral.

You can always do more damage. People think rock bottom is a lot higher up than it actually is, and we're a long way from even where people think it is

Astaghfiruallah this nigga must be stoned to death

Might as well get the doxing and humiliation over with.

Okay, at least you did own up to the mistake. You're still rather strange but who isn't on this site? After saying all this though, please seek Jesus. The Orthodox kind I mean. Not the Mormon one, ya dunce!

Gosh I hate this retarded degenerate in my community of retarded degenerates! Thank goodness I'm the one normal, honest, God-fearing person in said community, I bet kiwifarms will get a real kick out of this sicko (who I am of course superior to in every way, as a less degenerate retard).

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

Honestly I'm just thankful that you're getting off to a real woman's ass. It's so boring that I can't even call it embarrassing.

 

[Finger Pistols]

you’ve been stalking my profile for months, shitbag. Maybe drop into my dms and flirt. We can be stupid together.

Don't worry Welper, I'll be your anime mommy or whatever.

Wild thread to catch up to.