random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Thé au lait]

From Saucisse Noir to Negerwurst to Salame Negro, Tomlin & Son's Dark Meats* has you covered!

*A subsidiary of Robinson's Urban Gas Company

And like incredibly retarded and morbidly obese clockwork...

Patrick being cast into stalkerprison by vengeful niggers seeking justice for the picaninnies ground into wurst is genuinely fucking with my sense of reality

Argonian hatchlings are thrown into the grinder for N'wahWurst

 

[Spectate]

Meanwhile me over here when I was a kindergartener thought "what the fuck did I do?" when in the first few days of kindergarten poked the teacher on the side of her breast trying to get her attention for some reason. Either I needed to go to the bathroom or I was being an annoying little shit like many children of that age. Did not know you were not supposed to do that and I was quite confused exactly what I did wrong for some time because nobody told me what I did wrong.

 

[CaddestSlown]

you would be welcomed in my pink-nipples-only ethnostate

 

[frozen_runner]

Down with McDonald's.

Beastwars

Anisa is Tarantulas, Idubbbz is Waspinator

TLDR: This is what bad pussy does to a motherfucker.

The enemies of Rome are ontologically evil always have been always will be

 

[Aunt Carol]

Smarter-than-average people are always doing retarded shit that stupid people would never even consider

Is Aileen Wuornos a joke to you?

8. If you're Christian, the bed frame is a great place to rest your arms when on your knees, praying at the foot of the bed.

 

[DenseDeerFather]

Modern society is sick, and the shit architecture is part of the problem.

 

[FedPostalService]

I mean who here hasn't made a mistake and raped their own mom?

 

[JustSomeDong]

Why hasn't anyone told me we're opening a KiwiFarms death camp?

 

[The Punished Mitch]

Never remembered anything when sober except weirdly the one time he pulled a gun on me.

 

[Elite Kipchak]

He's either missing chromosomes or got extra ones, whichever one makes you more retarded.

 

[Gravemind]

Too little too late, bucko. Your campaign did wathever fruits you seeded.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

They bullied me without my consent.

 

[Haloperidol]

Smack My Gunt Up

 

[Dr. Butt]

I always applaud doctors cashing in on the mentally ill

 

[Conan]

It's like his anti Jew defense boobs explode out of his sides

 

[Dr. Butt]

It's obvious he mashed his potato but the RCMP can't tell the judge how he mashed his potato, where he mashed his potato, or why he mashed his potato.

 

[Skitarii]

Sometimes a jeet Hindustani fellow in my gym will talk obnoxiously loud with enthusiastic vigor in his ugly exotic language on his Bluetooth earpiece, presumably catching up with the streetshitting apes exceptional individuals that comprise his family back home.

Bulgarian Personality Disorder

This shattered my perception of reality. I had to think for 15 seconds what a snickerdoodle was. Not just did I forget what one looked like, what it was, or what it tasted like.

 

[Potato Burrito]

As if just walking around being shorter than your average leprechaun, more curvaceous than your average fertility statue and more squeaky than your average chew toy does not innately out you to everyone in the vicinity! We need to really start reminding our emperors (and emperesses) of their clotheslessness more often.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Those whom God wishes to destroy, He first sets against the Kiwi Farms.

 

[Hot HOT HOTTT]

No stalker child YOU ARE chibi. Enjoy Japan, speed runner child.