random_text.txt

[Archie Bunker]

I AM NOT A VOLUNTARY MEMBER OF THE KIWI FARMS. I AM HERE TO COMPLY WITH TERMS OF MY COURT-ORDERED COMMUNITY SERVICE. MY TITLE IS MISLEADING, AND FOR LEGAL REASONS I MUST MAKE IT CLEAR THAT I AM AN INVOLUNTARY MEMBER OF THE KIWI FARMS. I AM HERE AGAINST MY WILL.

 

[Vyse Inglebard]

“You find it offensive. I find it funny. That’s why I’m happier than you.”

 

[not william stenchever]

Only Nöl didn’t change his expression or posture, just giving a little nod like he’d been expecting the universe to disappoint him somehow

 

[Captain Chromosome]

Inflate his prolapse, just like a balloon!

should probably specify youre not suggesting blacks season their hot pickles with temporal concepts

 

[The Nothingness]

Every day Bob is miserable that he's nowhere near the top despite believing that he should be is a good day.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Tactical nukes are not as scary as people think? Could I ask you to clarify that?

I know they look scary but cartoon lettuces are harmless I promise, they don't shoot green lasers from their eyes.

TOTAL SOCIAL MEDIA INFLUENCER DEATH

Oh damn, you're right. Can't keep my gross subcultures straight, my bad guys.

See, even a 90s Nickelodeon movie agrees with me!

The dinosaur autist to tranny pipeline claims another.

Even her supposed inner circle fucking hates her.

Be crazy if after her years of utter nonsense this milquetoast lefty take is what does her in.

They love those long ass fake nails. I don't understand it.

I mean, how do they wipe their ass with those fucking things?

twerk the turds off

I could have gone a few more decades without that imagery.

should probably specify youre not suggesting blacks season their hot pickles with temporal concepts

I randomly decided to open this thread and nearly had a heart attack

"Mhmm, bitch tits coming in nicely. Those zero hours spent in the gym over the past several years are really paying off."

 

[3MMA]

Gee, Nick. Is the bodycam footage really THAT bad?

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

Remember, he was caught lying about being deaf after going almost 100 in a 55, which is kinda based, but it was also in a Silver Miata, which means he's some kind of gay degenerate sociopath.

 

[RACISM]

I would love to work with Niantic and make my idea of a game that's just like Pokemon Go except instead of Pokestops you collect dungeons around town. [...]
The game corresponds to crime maps, and uses their statistics to generate dungeons. Higher crime areas = harder dungeons. The final boss will only spawn in 10-star difficulty dungeons, which only spawn in areas where there's at least one murder a day.

 

[Rotollo 2]

I would call his kids onto the stand and then make them cry in cross-examination while I mock them about their coked up whoremonger parents. I think it'd be funny.

 

[barbie meat]

View attachment 6288682

"Nick's redness and an angle of curvature of his nose have viewers joking about him being drunk or having a coke allergy."

 

[Black Man Underwear]

what happens on Jan 16, 2055

You'll see.

• “This poll will close: Jan 16, 2055.”

nigga how did you do that

 

[everybody in Portugal]

In the meantime, I shall prepare my essay „Kill yourself - in Austen: the use of literary analysis as passive aggression”.

Get your talentless involuntary hikikomori daughter's blood tested, she's got the dark armpits of a pre-diabetic (and the aggressively homely face of a middle-aged Duane Reade cashier but I digress).

She's so fucking innovative. She might be the first eBeggar to call in sick to grifting.

(I used the past tense because I assume "women's chess" all just pungent crossdressers now)

That muscle still thinks it's in her leg, not rolled up and sewn to her crotch.

 

[Neo-Nazi Rich Evans]

Sweetheart, have you seen daddy's crack pipe? I'll let you light it again if you find it for me. Hang on, is this still recording?

 

[Super Dilator Duel 3D]

As much as I enjoy kiwifarms, turning Joshua Moon into a whimpering cheese-grasping cumdumpster has a certain piquancy about it.

 

[Gentlebastard]

I have a feeling Only fans, stripping and roadside prostitution are in her future.

Oh and multiple children by multiple men

Jesus Christ, somebody please spike her drinks with contraceptive pills already.

I bet she fucks like epileptic kangaroo on meth.

I came for the swimsuit girl and was very glad I was misled.

despite wearing TWO SHIRTS, his disrespectful nipples remain protuberant

despite going torso.7z he's still rotund

even in Barnsley (a culturally isolated town with no shortage of weird-looking mutants, probably due to its long history of mining and consequent water pollution) that thing would draw horrified stares

if I didn't already know these characters already I would think this was too stupid to be real. stupid people in movies are not written this stupid.

I don’t know what magical combination I had to subject myself to in order to be served up this banger by the algorithm, but there was definitely something satanic behind it

I’d rather have the Beach Boys’ “Barbara Ann” stuck in my head for eternity than this shit.

Oh shit I'm legit retarded. Thanks man. Holy fuck I'm dumb.

DJ Pronouns & MC Progeria finally dropping a new album.

I always get a laugh out of these. Its a collage of people with muscles working out mixed in with pictures of the fat kid from the special ed class who wandered into a gym and started taking selfies of himself

 

[AlSharptonPogrom]

He basically picked the most niggerlicious way to get a website up on some random hosting service.

Completely gratuitous. It reinforces the harmful stereotype that persons of color are cheap. It is his website. Moon man - shine on, you crazy diamond!

 

[Blackhole]

(it's a JOKE though GUYS I want to BLOW JAY LENO)

not to be fatrick on main, but do you people have to post the norm mcdonald picture in every thread

twerk the turds off

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

The local homeless are walking atms

 

[Tablet County]

"now you too have

sneed, my kitten,"