random_text.txt

[Kiwi & Cow]

WOMEN WHO ARE GIVEN TO EXCESSIVE CARNAL DESIRES ARE CURRENTLY IN A STATE OF RAGE.

 

[Brain Power]

What, are you saying you DON'T circumcize your breasts? Are you sure that's hygienic?? Bacteria live in the folds! I just think a girl should look like her mother. Yes, sweetie, I already took her to be circumcized while you were at work.

I present you with this curse: imagine if breasts had a penis-like foreskin that covers each boob from chest to nipple. Retract foreskin to reveal nipple. This slaking squirk sound is the sound your finger makes when wiping the smegma away from the areola.

 

[Poonocchio]

Here's an amhole where the "clitoris" is shooting out of the stinkditch like a xenomorph's second jaw

 

[MetokurGroomedMe]

Being in the kiwifarms feels like having a crystall ball that is almost always right. Makes you feel smug with yourself but nobody fucking believes you because crystal balls are retarded.

 

[BirdUp]

"Novel AI," a popular image AI, generates beautiful two-dimensional girls and boys.

 

[Gentlebastard]

What you don't want to finger a vagina and feel a clump of ball sac hair that got mashed up against the back while dilating?

I had never heard of or seen this person until I saw your post, and then they suddenly showed up on my timeline immediately after, so I think you've cursed me.

I'm not mad that you said it, I'm just mad that I didn't think of it first.

You forgot to point out that:

1. He's fat
2. He's a faggot
3. He has alarmingly pendulous bitch tits

Shocking that you, of all people, would forget this. Otherwise you're right.

Serves me right for being on Insta, I suppose.

It looks like he's eating a rotten carrot, which would be somehow better than his current diet.

"Just because food's in the room doesn't mean it's going in my piehole." (Press X to Doubt)

the way he conducts himself on Reddit suggests he's some sort of next-level autist. Definitely one to watch.

the defining hedonism and tragic absence of impulse control which have relegated and confined him to the scootypuff throne upon which he embodies the cardinal sin of gluttony

The truth which even Jack knows is that he is eating as much as humanly possible as a means of raging against the dying light in the only way he knows to, perpetually seething in the knowledge that he can’t take any of his gud meats with him, where his ignited fat will burn as the brightest candle in hell.

Only point of note is he posted the worst case of cone moobs I've ever seen and then cried about it.

I want both sides dead.

in the case of troons: coddling them is infinitely more cruel than making fun of them. No one ever got their dick removed because of a post on kiwi farms. hugboxing on reddit has lead many people to destroy their bodies and lives

Let me put it this way. Autists are retarded and I don’t wanna be a retard.

At least the people doing this are willing to document this nonsense on social media for us to laugh at.

As a rule, the type of fuckers who doomsday prep have about enough canned food and ammunition to last roughly two years.

Their diabetes meds last thirty days.

as a eugenics enjoyer I highly avow giving sexual deviants anything that will encourage them to kill themselves

I think this is bullshit. But funny bullshit.

Is this how our Cyberpunk dystopia starts? Not with cyborgs or invasive body implants but with malware filled vibrators?

Insecure phone-snooping pooner discovers her fiancé watches porn and it ... this is the worst thing that has ever happened, prepare yourself ... it has ladies in it.

we just have enough self awareness to keep our retardation to ourselves instead of aggressively sharing it with the whole world

 

[Chromeo]

DrUid CoLLeGe??

 

[Pedophobe]

mf looks like someone put Klaus Nomi's makeup on Klaus Kinski

There is not a single person that actually hates the Kiwi Farms.

 

[Poonocchio]

For all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, Kiwi Farms was right again.

 

[BirdUp]

ima ctual;i drunk rn lollllll su m diukm bitch

I'm going to rape you...

 

[6thRanger]

Acktually sir it was triple anal, getting pissed on and drinking it, and then her leaking the cum from her ass into a glass and drinking it. Please get your facts right.

 

[Cougar Pump]

sperm can live for several days in a Wendy's Baconator

 

[CEO of Pickles]

normal, unquestionable behavior to go on microgooning sessions in the middle of your college campus

 

[Tablet County]

Holy SHIT.
I remember that fucking carpet.

he was gooning too hard and too fast saving images left and right and all he could see in his coombrain was the big dicks

 

[Hamplanet Fitness]

 

[HyperboreanRightsActivist]

I have 113 users on ignore

 

[eatler]

Most girls like dick, so if you like someone who likes dick- that makes you gay!
You don't wanna be G A Y, do ya?

I'm so straight sometimes I blow men just to prove how not gay I am. I can do it and it totally doesn't make me gay. See how straight I am?

She offers classes of poetry/ass eating at the local community college that no one attends.

Whites aren't sane

Case in point since mayonnaise is Satan's jizz

 

[HyperboreanRightsActivist]

Blobby, Lidl, and Stan walk into a bar.
None of them get raped.
They all screech men are shit.
End of joke.

 

[LurkTrawl]

The second amendment should be updated to the right to bareback cousins

 

[Pedophobe]

Horse cock was his downfall.

This whole situation is a Lamborghini of autism, we went from zero to fucking retarded in less than a second.

Those who live in glass houses shouldn't cut their dicks off.