Reveal something totally unexpected about yourself - Shock and awe awaits - Don't powerlevel

I was choking on a hotdog once and almost asphyxiated, but my life was saved by a huge dildo that I rammed into my throat, pushing the hotdog into my stomach.
 
I actually knew someone on Tumblr named Joan (And he's actually a guy, too. No joke.), and he has a younger sister who's named Hawaiian. His family had a whole bunch of crazy names which I can't even imagine.
 
I'm gay as hell. Not good enough? I also collect comic books.
Still not good?
 
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