Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Manwithn0n0men]

...Actually I'm with Bob on the "mansplaining" thing. In a rare moment where I'll agree with the fucker on something. The Westboro Baptist Church are a group this planet would genuinely be better off without...so if a movie is killing them or very obvious stand-ins for them...yeah I've gotta side with him on that one, they're as much acceptable targets as Terrorists or Nazis for violence. He even correctly pointed out that it's fucking fiction so it doesn't ultimately matter anyway? I had no complaints about that particular scene in Kingsmen and still don't. Hell, it doesn't even really qualify as "senseless violence" because if those morons had actually paid attention, the movie completely condemns the actions the moment the character returns to his senses. Basically saying "Yeah Westboro are repugnant fucks but it isn't right to murder them wholesale" So yeah, I'm gonna (begrudgingly because he's still a filthy eugenicist) agree with Bob on Kingsmen; those people need to lighten the fuck up. Like, really if anything I'd say he didn't go far enough, since again, those people are completely missing the fucking point of that scene anyway (that senseless violence is abhorrent, even if the target is an acceptable one).

But again the actual fear of the church [and its violence] are tools of social media

 

[Godzilla@1989]

Has Bob ever consider fat suction surgery?

 

[Mola Ram]

Has Bob ever consider fat suction surgery?

They won't actually do that to your head.

 

[andr0id psycho sho(ker]

They won't actually do that to your head.

and he'd eat his way back to his original weight just like Boogie did

 

[Doctor Placebo]

But again the actual fear of the church [and its violence] are tools of social media

That and there's been no actual violence from members of the Westboro Baptist Church. Just being rude, outrageous, obnoxious shits, but no violence, which puts them above many other fringe groups morally. Their big mistake was pissing off people on both the left and the right by combo-ing their anti-gay rhetoric with picketing dead veterans' funerals and saying America should be destroyed. You piss off both sides, you don't get any defenders and people can demonize you as much as they want.

Of course in Bob's first tweet he basically says he considers every right wing person and Republican a member of Westboro, so he can't comprehend that Trump supporters wouldn't like them either. Even if they actually did, it's a little thing called a parody and apparently Mr. Film Critic Genius doesn't understand that agreeing with something's original message isn't required to parody it.

 

[Manwithn0n0men]

That and there's been no actual violence from members of the Westboro Baptist Church. Just being rude, outrageous, obnoxious shits, but no violence, which puts them above many other fringe groups morally. Their big mistake was pissing off people on both the left and the right by combo-ing their anti-gay rhetoric with picketing dead veterans' funerals and saying America should be destroyed. You piss off both sides, you don't get any defenders and people can demonize you as much as they want.

Of course in Bob's first tweet he basically says he considers every right wing person and Republican a member of Westboro, so he can't comprehend that Trump supporters wouldn't like them either. Even if they actually did, it's a little thing called a parody and apparently Mr. Film Critic Genius doesn't understand that agreeing with something's original message isn't required to parody it.

For a film reviewer bob sure is bad at subtext and context

 

[BubbleButt]

RLM Subreddit is putting Bob through one of those industrial meat grinders.

 

[Rei is shit]

RLM Subreddit is putting Bob through one of those industrial meat grinders.

 

[Flexo]

View attachment 971303

Found another great line.

 

[Cryonic Haunted Bullets]

Four (or six) years of being ignored by everybody and retreating to the warm glow of soft-serve low-brow media narcotization to ignore the horrible reality that no one likes being around you, that was Bob's college experience. Binge eating to try to fill the aching void inside. Getting mediocre (at best) grades at a mediocre (at best) school. Watching other people have fun but never being included. Telling himself over and over that sooner or later he'd meet the right person and fall in love. Waiting for graduation, so he could go out and make his mark, never realizing his job at Blockbuster would be the apex of his real-world working life. At least there he was forced to interact with people face-to-face.

And twenty years later how much has really changed? Well, he stumbled into minor success online, mostly by being an early adopter of Youtube. He's still a miserable fat fuck no one likes or wants to be around. I'd bet money Bob's a virgin. He'll never meet someone. He'll never fall in love. If Bob decided to throw a party and invited all of his friends, excluding family, not a half-dozen people would show. All the pop-culture t-shirts in the world won't change these facts. But hey, on his deathbed he can reflect back on his life and be comforted by the thought that he's seen every MCU movie multiple times. He's been a loyal, unquestioning consumer and Bob Iger will be waiting to personally usher him into Disney's HeavenWorld(tm).

This is the most brutal fucking thing I've ever read on this site.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

Four (or six) years of being ignored by everybody and retreating to the warm glow of soft-serve low-brow media narcotization to ignore the horrible reality that no one likes being around you, that was Bob's college experience. Binge eating to try to fill the aching void inside. Getting mediocre (at best) grades at a mediocre (at best) school. Watching other people have fun but never being included. Telling himself over and over that sooner or later he'd meet the right person and fall in love. Waiting for graduation, so he could go out and make his mark, never realizing his job at Blockbuster would be the apex of his real-world working life. At least there he was forced to interact with people face-to-face.

And twenty years later how much has really changed? Well, he stumbled into minor success online, mostly by being an early adopter of Youtube. He's still a miserable fat fuck no one likes or wants to be around. I'd bet money Bob's a virgin. He'll never meet someone. He'll never fall in love. If Bob decided to throw a party and invited all of his friends, excluding family, not a half-dozen people would show. All the pop-culture t-shirts in the world won't change these facts. But hey, on his deathbed he can reflect back on his life and be comforted by the thought that he's seen every MCU movie multiple times. He's been a loyal, unquestioning consumer and Bob Iger will be waiting to personally usher him into Disney's HeavenWorld(tm).

The most honest summary of Bob.

 

[Doctor Placebo]

RLM Subreddit is putting Bob through one of those industrial meat grinders.

It would have to be industrial. Only something big enough to throw a couple of whole cows in at once will do.

 

[Positron]

Has Bob ever consider fat suction surgery?

It doesn't work. Bariatric procedures are the only surgical management of obesity that has been proven to work (although, of course, not in all cases).

That and there's been no actual violence from members of the Westboro Baptist Church. Just being rude, outrageous, obnoxious shits, but no violence, which puts them above many other fringe groups morally.

Including trannies.

 

[Tactical Wizard]

I doubt social media is a Masquerade breach. Unless you're literally screaming on your Twitter feed 24 7 that you're a vampire. Selfies are probably discouraged if they tend to fade but I dont know how digital photos react to vampires.

Only if he's embraced into Clan Lasombra (HA!) or he took that as a flaw at character creation... otherwise, V:tM vamps appear in mirrors and photographs normally.
t. Local WoD nerd.

 

[AngeloTheWizard]

Only if he's embraced into Clan Lasombra (HA!) or he took that as a flaw at character creation... otherwise, V:tM vamps appear in mirrors and photographs normally.
t. Local WoD nerd.

Ah, New World of Darkness put that as a thing that every vampire has happen. But I think regardless of edition rules, it's not a Humanity check to throw Bob with all your superhuman might and get about three feet of clearance.

 

[Krokodil Overdose]

Ah, New World of Darkness put that as a thing that every vampire has happen. But I think regardless of edition rules, it's not a Humanity check to throw Bob with all your superhuman might and get about three feet of clearance.

...Not an expert, but I don't remember VtM vampires rocking Solar Exalted levels of strength.

 

[AngeloTheWizard]

...Not an expert, but I don't remember VtM vampires rocking Solar Exalted levels of strength.

I may have meant distance instead of clearance.

The joke is Bob is fat.

 

[Arthur Morgan]

Has Bob ever consider fat suction surgery?

I doubt his ego would ever allow him to consider that as an option. Boogie and Wings admit how fat they are, Bob instead brags he can bench 310 because he moved a fridge once.

 

[Tactical Wizard]

Ah, New World of Darkness put that as a thing that every vampire has happen. But I think regardless of edition rules, it's not a Humanity check to throw Bob with all your superhuman might and get about three feet of clearance.

oWoD? The no reflection thing is almost exclusively the Lasombra clan flaw.

 

[Mola Ram]

oWoD? The no reflection thing is almost exclusively the Lasombra clan flaw.

All this oWoD stuff and no one gets the most obvious Bob stand-in.

I give you Horatio Ballard, Ventrue (because of course Bob would have refined vitae tastes -- probably feeding off busty porn stars, or possibly, in a cruel twist of fate, Cheeto-dusted neckbeards):

But that's probably too good to really fit Bob (Ballard was, after all, enormously wealthy and politically powerful). Let's try something more grounded. How about the ever-popular Cone of Flesh?

Many who see Cone of flesh for the first time in mistake it for a giant pile of rancid mayonnaise. Shaped more than anything liking 9 foot tall chocolate chip, Cone of flesh’s body is a grotesque series of bulbous fat rings. These rings grow larger as they near the ground, and tend to collects slime and roaches. The “Cone” is over 9 feet tall, and over 3 yards wide at base. It has no apparent legs and is usually pulled around on a cart by the Barlow’s. Topping this mass is a malevolent, piggish face, wide at the chin and pointed on top. The features are effeminate, though Cone of flesh is really asexual. Cone of flesh likes to wear makeup, massive amounts of jewelry and a small diamond tiara. It speaks in an affected high-pitched tone. It also smells like bad cheese, and is rarely seen by the general public.