Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Godzilla@1989]

Lord and Taylor has been going downhill long before the pandemic started. I had a relative who worked for them get laid off early in 2019. Like I mentioned in response to his Black Friday rant, the retail apocalypse has been wiping out physical stores across the country. The pandemic is just the latest factor. It's not Trump's fault like Bob wants to believe. This has been going on for years and is now finally culminating in a massive wave of closings.

Isn’t GameStop the next one to go under?

 

[Flexo]

My mousing skills are utter shit, but I've managed to draw this outline of Bob's body to give you a better idea of the weirdness of his proportions in that wedding picture:

The original:

My outline:

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Basically a baked potato balancing on a couple of pipe cleaners. Also, I'm sorry. Very very sorry....

He actually looks like he is trying to cosplay a bender unit.

I uh... I need to go have a drink. Like all of them.

(Yeah those arms... there's no way a punch from him would do anything other than provide a light massage.)

 

[Doctor Placebo]

That thirsty bitch wanting headpats for a picture of her lunch was embarrassing to watch. But the replies to Bob’s dumb tweet about it make me think Bob isn’t so bad after all — not compared to his followers, who are next-level obnoxious, arrogant, and stupid. And they’re all embarrassing try-hards, just like Bob:

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This dingbat doesn’t know the difference between deli “lunch meat” and decent cured meat, between aged imported cheeses and Kraft Singles, between Vlasic pickles and cornichons, between Wonder Bread and a rustic baguette, or between snack nuts and Marcona almonds. Xi also doesn’t have a clue what any of this shit costs.

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And this guy seems perfectly fucking insufferable:

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The arrogant condescending attitude, pretensions of sophistication despite radiating low class white trash vibes, and the feigned expertise on subjects they're clearly ignorant about... dear lord his fans are a bunch of Moviebobs in training.

The jacket in question is one thing (and it’s not proof of weight loss like Bob thinks it is). Why is he standing like this?! Has he spent so much of his waking hours in a computer chair that he has to re-learn how to stand up properly?

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I'm pretty sure that's Robert's attempt at a power stance.

 

[An Sionnach Seang]

Tl;dr: Bob's a fat fucking autist and doesn't understand people or life.

or how the English language works

 

[Cantercoin]

So how much weight do we think Bob has gained in lockdown? I’m guessing at least 35 pounds.

It’s weird how he addressed the jacket no one commented on, yet never addressed the goofy-ass look on his face. Are his eyes closed under the weight of his forehead gut, or did someone just reject Mario’s canonical place of birth? Or is he trying to do a tough guy squint? Either way, he ruined his sister’s wedding AND the pictures.

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Hes just trying to use his natural predator vision to find the nearest McDonald's for his light snack of 1,000 mcnuggets

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Bob hates misogyny and bullies! You can tell by how he tweets at women who aren’t card-carrying Democrats:




Also Bob:

 

[Knyttet]

But let's assume for a moment that Bob, as he is want to do, let the mask slip and he was indeed frexting this Tammy person (I seriously hope this was the "lesbian" who taught him how to peel an orange with his mouth). Can you imagine the horrors that would've transpired from Bob doing friendly sexting? Bob showing off his tighty whities in a playful manner and Tammy and her fellow muff diver, assuming it is the lesbian from college, laughing at him? The abyss is starting to stare back at me fam and we're both smiling.

He's not saying HE is frexting Tammy. He's implying that the person selling the phones can't comprehend anyone using their phone for anything other than 'frexting Tammy between classes'.

 

[Flexo]

Bob hates misogyny and bullies! You can tell by how he tweets at women who aren’t card-carrying Democrats:


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Also Bob:

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Well then Bob was never bullied, as he quite clearly deserves it.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

There’s so much old gold out there for those who, like me, found Bob’s universe of cringe rather recently. I particularly enjoyed Chris’s rage tweets from the time someone dared to make fun of Bob’s embarrassing Mario book. Remember, a negative review is “targeted harassment” but recruiting your entire family to report a person to their employer for making fun of a shitty book online is brave and noble. Chris also did a good job of unwittingly invalidating his brother’s “job” and his own side gig. To wit:

 

[TerminalTryHard]

There are literally only three acceptable questions to ask at a phone store.

Do you have have phone A?

Does another store have phone A?

Can you order phone A for me?

Going in with no idea what you want is a sure way to get ripped off and you'd deserve it too.

Well then Bob was never bullied, as he quite clearly deserves it.

I really believe this was the case. I don't think Bob was some innocent dork who the jocks just wouldn't leave alone. I think Bob was just an abrasive asshole who regularly got called out and stood up to. With a helping of Bob simply not getting the respect, popularity, and pussy he feels entitled to.

 

[Knyttet]

I think he means people who are "supposed" to be smart, have jobs in things like tech, but are in actuality really, really fucking dumb. Maybe it's booksmarts but not common sense smarts; I'm not sure. But generally speaking, I know people who would probably fall into this category.

Oh God, this is DSP's "booksmarts vs. streetsmarts" all over again, isn't it?

 

[TheAmbiguousLurker]

Frexting just sounds like something someone made up to avoid facing the awkwardness of sexting. "No, no, Frank, I wasn't sexting you. I don't like you or anything, I was just... Frexting! So, of course, nothing will be weird between us. Right? Right?"

 

[Doctor Placebo]

Bob hates misogyny and bullies! You can tell by how he tweets at women who aren’t card-carrying Democrats:


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Also Bob:

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I literally facepalmed when I read Robert's definition of bullying. Actually Diabeeto, the definition of bully is "a person who habitually seeks to harm or intimidate those whom they perceive as vulnerable." Your definition is mind bogglingly stupid because almost anyone who attacks anyone thinks they "deserve it" in some way, at least in the moment. The only exceptions would be career criminals with a guilty conscience. The Nazis (to use an example you'd agree are evil, although you don't seem to understand exactly why) certainly had a huge list of reasons the Jews deserved it.

It's amazing how childish Robert's view of evil is. He really thinks all the bad people twirl their mustaches while gloating about how fun it is to abuse those poor innocents who did nothing wrong.

And BTW, considering your past history of gloating over dying economies of the wasteland ghouls, acknowledging that right wingers can't make it in media anymore, and talking about the inevitability of these people being left behind and made obsolete, it's quite clear you perceive them as vulnerable. Maybe not vulnerable to your fat ass in particular, but vulnerable to the system and politicians you enthusiastically support.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

It's amazing how childish Robert's view of evil is.

His view of everything is childish. He’s a textbook manchild. Literal Jews say they’re concerned about self-appointed “Nazi hunters” and Bob’s response is “only Nazis have anything to be afraid of, why are you so worried, huh? Something to hide?” He’s the fucking worst.

 

[BubbleButt]

It's amazing how childish Robert's view of evil is. He really thinks all the bad people twirl their mustaches while gloating about how fun it is to abuse those poor innocents who did nothing wrong.

He believes the whole world besides him is like that scene in Pass Thru where all of the rich and powerful people are at a party gloating about how rich and powerful they are.

Bob thinks he lives in a Neil Breen movie.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Bob is a big believer in the “fixed quantity of good” fallacy. If you have something good — whether it’s material success, handsome looks, great body, a happy marriage or hot sex life — you must be depriving somebody else of those things. Good shit is a zero-sum game in the smooth bean that passes for his brain.

TL;DR Bob is bitter and retarded.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

Bob’s not happy that Disney is releasing a big budgeted movie about a Asian female lead for him to jerk off to on Disney+ for $30 instead in theaters because Trump bad.

 

[The Littlest Shitlord]

Oh God, this is DSP's "booksmarts vs. streetsmarts" all over again, isn't it?

Perhaps the virgin MovieBob is imitating the chad DSP, hoping to work up to his level? After all, Bob has never gotten laid, while DSP has been married twice. Bob dodges collection agency calls like a pussy, while DSP gives creditors the finger by successfully filing for bankruptcy. Bob knows that his diabetes is his own fault for being fat, while DSP knows that he did everything correct! You see the appeal here.

 

[Strange Wilderness]

He believes the whole world besides him is like that scene in Pass Thru where all of the rich and powerful people are at a party gloating about how rich and powerful they are.


Bob thinks he lives in a Neil Breen movie.

Hes never had friends or a real social life so all his knowledge of the real world comes from fiction: childish one-dimensional fiction. Good guys are good because they just are, Bad guys are bad guys because they are and nothing can change that, if you're a bad guy who deserve to lose your job and watch your kids starve in the streets and there's nothing you can do to change it.

Bob’s not happy that Disney is releasing a big budgeted movie about a Asian female lead for him to jerk off to on Disney+ for $30 instead in theaters because Trump bad.
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Lol at thinking that the worst thing to come out of Trumps Presidency and the pandemic is that movies are getting released on streaming services instead of in the theaters. Most people, who have lives, would point to stuff like the rising unemployment, civil unrest, rising tensions with Iran and China, worrying about how to safely reopen society, not a movie going to OnDemand instead of the theater. When that's the worst thing to happen you really need to reevaluate your life.

 

[The tired cat]

Lol at thinking that the worst thing to come out of Trumps Presidency and the pandemic is that movies are getting released on streaming services instead of in the theaters. Most people, who have lives, would point to stuff like the rising unemployment, civil unrest, rising tensions with Iran and China, worrying about how to safely reopen society, not a movie going to OnDemand instead of the theater. When that's the worst thing to happen you really need to reevaluate your life.

Well yeah, it is the worst thing if you're a walking human sausage who's only reason in life is to either rage on Twitter or make videos for his crappy youtube channel.