The Dude's Guide to Manliness.

[The Dude]

Dammit, i'll never be as manly as the dude

You're the best damn FemboiBunny I know and I love you to death. I'm not saying manly men are superior to more effeminate men. I see everyone as equal. You're a great person and I value you as one of my online friends. The Dude totally abides his friend Femboi.

 

[homerbeoulve]

The Dude, do you think a nerdy guy like me will ever be as manly as you?

 

[The Dude]

The Dude, do you think a nerdy guy like me will ever be as manly as you?

Hey man, I'm a huge nerd. Just because someone is nerdy doesn't mean they can't be a manly nerd.

 

[Zim]

Aw man. I have no facial hair and I shave with a Mach 3. However I think my chest hair makes up for my lack of beardyness!

Also, I lit a chair on fire using a shotgun this last weekend to celebrate my friend getting married.

Good list!

 

[The Dude]

Aw man. I have no facial hair and I shave with a Mach 3. However I think my chest hair makes up for my lack of beardyness!

Also, I lit a chair on fire using a shotgun this last weekend to celebrate my friend getting married.

Good list!

Dragon's Breath rounds?

 

[Night Terror]

Manly is a subjective term that everyone has differing opinions on. There's no guide to manliness, other than get shit done. I'd say the most important part of being a man is just getting shit done. Men get on with it and deal with it. Boys whine about it and leave it for others to deal with. (Which is why I'm just a boy.........)
I'm not getting a gun. Gun control is extremely stringent here, and I'm not a fan of weapons in general (apart from the body itself, I'm rather enthusiastic about unarmed combat). I like the comments about razors, though. A straight razor almost certainly gives a better shave.

 

[LM 697]

Strap this on your sore ass.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Brother, all you need to do is:
1. Train
2. Say your prayers
3. Eat your vitamins
4. Be true to your self
5. Be true to your country
6. Be a Real American

The rest will take care of itself, man.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

I said that earlier in the thread, brother.

I just want to point back to the links I posted at the beginning of this thread.

The author of the blog I linked to defines manliness not as being the opposite of femininity, but as the opposite of being immature. I hope that helps.

 

[exball]

Guys why are you hijacking Dudes thread? You should all be out training and saying your prayers.

 

[LM 697]

Are you GQ?

 

[Picklepower]

"Man hating is a load of shit"

Uh someone needs to check their fucking privileges Aight. Men are the WORST! Hitler and Bin Laden were fucking men alright, "bro". Yeah I'm a man, embarrassingly, but I see their evil, RELIGION was invented by Men, to enslave woman dammit!!!!!!!@#%#@$%. Also Xmas is bullshit, why don't we celebrate MRS. CLaus, the poor woman who slaves over the stove for her fat fuck husband, who gives toys to overprivleged Capitalist children??? In a gender equal socialist society, everyday is better then your hetero male dominated, Christmas. Here is how you be a man for real.

1. Think you better then woman, cuz you have a penis
2. stuff your face like a fatass
3. be Chris
4. Pay women almost nothing
5. be abusive
6. cheat on your wife
7. be a shit head
8. be a REal shitty shit head
9. be a protestant white person
10. be Chris

Suck on that Cis Scum!








(note: I really hope you guys know this post is a joke)

 

[exball]

"Man hating is a load of shit"

Uh someone needs to check their fucking privileges Aight. Men are the WORST! Hitler and Bin Laden were fucking men alright, "bro". Yeah I'm a man, embarrassingly, but I see their evil, RELIGION was invented by Men, to enslave woman dammit!!!!!!!@#%#@$%. Also Xmas is bullshit, why don't we celebrate MRS. CLaus, the poor woman who slaves over the stove for her fat fuck husband, who gives toys to overprivleged Capitalist children??? In a gender equal socialist society, everyday is better then your hetero male dominated, Christmas. Here is how you be a man for real.

1. Think you better then woman, cuz you have a penis
2. stuff your face like a fatass
3. be Chris
4. Pay women almost nothing
5. be abusive
6. cheat on your wife
7. be a shit head
8. be a REal shitty shit head
9. be a protestant white person
10. be Chris

Suck on the Cis Scum!








(note: I really hope you guys know this post is a joke)

Hmm, yeah...

 

[A-№1]

If you need a guide to being a man, you have already failed.

Real men don't read the instructions and they don't ask for directions. And when they end up lost in the middle of nowhere with a broken down truck where half the parts are put on backwards they don't cry about it. They take it like a man.

 

[Zim]

Aw man. I have no facial hair and I shave with a Mach 3. However I think my chest hair makes up for my lack of beardyness!

Also, I lit a chair on fire using a shotgun this last weekend to celebrate my friend getting married.

Good list!

Dragon's Breath rounds?

You know it! Lighting fires any other way would be uncivilized.

 

[CatParty]

[youtube]8mFdg6GbY5o[/youtube]

 

[Enjoy your spaghetti]

Re: Pikonic's guide to being a woman.

Equality FTW! I'd make my own thread but it'd probably get merged here. Now I've dropped a few of these in the past so there will be repeats, deal with it.
1) Never hit your man- They always say a man should never hit a woman. Well, the pendulum swings both ways bitch.

2) Man hating is a load of shit- Women will never be considered equal unless we knock off this "Wah, men are evil and have it so easy" bullshit. Feminism is about equality, not having our lives made easier because we have a vagina.

3) If you wanna get paid like a man, you gotta work like a man- Too many times I've seen women play the "70 cents to a dollar" card (which is bullshit, it's about 95), but when the trucks need to be unloaded or the spiders need to be killed, they go ask the guys to do it.

4) Accept your consequences- If you wanna be a slutbag, go for it. Just don't ball your eyes out when you get called a slut or can't find a committed relationship.

5) Iron pills are your best friend during that time- I studied the human body, you feel like shit during that time because of iron deficiency. Not a fan of pills? Spinach, beans, red meat, and fish.

6) A man will not fix your life- You gotta do that shit yourself, why does he deserve your baggage?

7) Be a bitch- I remember when I decided to embrace the bitch title. I was 19 and at a party. This guy wouldn't keep his MANOS off me. Now, first I was nice. I told him to stop touching me. He played the "but you're so beautiful". One ass grab later he got a few fists. I was called a bitch and told to leave. If a man calls you a bitch for being yourself or standing up for yourself, he is not worth your time.

There will always be a man who wants you- Not to sound all Disney on you, but I've seen too many women stay in shit relationships because "I don't know if I could find someone else" Bull. Shit.

9) Don't be dumb- If a man doesn't like his women smart, fuck him. Dumb girls are not sexy, they are dumb.

10) Don't fish for compliments- When you say "I'm fat" you better mean it. None of this "My man has to say I'm skinny" shit. And if he says something like "well, you could go to a gym/let's try to eat better/you could lose a little" don't get mad. He was being this thing called "honest"

I'm with you on everything but #4. Slut shaming is no bueno. I did my share of running around ten or so years ago, and if it's socially acceptable for a bro to do it, well, why should his partners be held to a different standard? He couldn't be a slut without them. If you want to go bed hopping and with consenting adults and I don't have to watch, go for it. Judging someone's sexual habits if they aren't hurting anybody just seems like a huge waste of time.*

*DISCLAIMER: This poster is a member of fandom for an obscure Autistic failed cartoonist. Consider the source.

 

[Da Pickle Monsta]

Here's a great guide to being a man.

Real men get in touch with their feminine side. They wear women's clothing and learn to put on makeup. Then women will see how sensitive and in-tune with them they are.

Real men love and protect women by developing an irrational hatred of other men and resent their happiness.

Real men compare themselves to fictional cartoon chatacters. This proves how diverse their interests are.

Real men fish for pity at every opportunity. Women are emotional creatures who will relate to their constant pouting, especially if its about things that happened over a decade ago.

Real men dry shave with safety razors.

Real men show off their physical prowess by doing push-ups, curling makeshift weights, running through shopping districts and trying to do pull-ups. If the woman is still not convinced, then you could always show off your tolerance for pain by jamming your dick in a snowbank for fifteen minutes.

Real men eat a healthy and diverse diet, which includes sandwich wraps, meat, more meat, potatoes, and pasta.

Real men take care of their mothers and change their bandages at least once every few days.

Real men recognize that a house has a division of labor. For example, if your mother has a hoard, you should wait for her to clean it.

Real men aren't afraid of commitment . . . to credit card companies.

 

[Fialovy]

^ I see what you did there...

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

Chris is an excellent guide to manliness. Do the opposite of what he does, and you're set.

All joking aside, being manly means having strong character. Chris has very little character. Sure, he isn't a serial killer and he doesn't cheat elderly widows of their savings, and what he's done is potatoes to what truly evil men like Hitler have done, but still, that's true of most people, even people you would never want to associate with.