Megathread The Pooner Zoo - A thread for collecting wild Pooners and posting OC Pooners, and anything Pooner related

@Magic Pickle
That last one is pretty wild.

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Racism is always valid from these types so long as it's directed at white people.
 
All my nerdy chick friends were passing this around in grade nine. The pink guy is very obviously a female self insert. He was really bratty and dumb and two older guys were obsessed with him for no reason, so basically it's just shoujo manga. We never discussed actual homos, just whether or not we thought straight boys we liked kissing was hot, which we did because Gerard Way and all the other rock stars we liked would do it sometimes for this specific reason. I think everyone I knew who read or watched this is hetero married now. View attachment 7185626
TLDR I blame the internet
Same women:
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I’ve seen gay drawn porn that is definitely made by men. Does that not qualify as yaoi? Im genuinely asking, it’s clearly different from the women-made yaoi, the violence is distinct from even the violence in women’s yaoi
That's bara. But in recent times pooners have found their way there, too. Francis Xie, who drew for Marvel and designed several video games, is one.
Imagine thinking big clits are dicks kek

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Having read enough of their fiction...yes, they legit believe a 2 inch roid clit is a penis and that anyone wants to get fucked by it. In their minds, no one laughs at them for having pseudo-phalluses smaller than an Indian.
 
Found this exquisite pooner in hellish depths of reddit. Beware the spoiler though, it's there for a reason.

She is transitioning into Peetz!

I'd say the fujos themselves are to blame for the "yaoi is bad because it fetishises the poor gehs" becoming a thing in the first place
Oh you definitely aren’t wrong here, the call was coming from inside the house a lot of the time. As other people pointed out, there was part of the fandom that really compartmentalized their consumption of the genre as just entertainment and were totally indifferent to homosexuals in real life, and another element to were easily guilted into activism. Gay marriage was made legal in America right around that time and I remember seeing creators in the genre start posting political about it. Obviously the ones who were able to compartmentalize their little guilty pleasure fared a lot better in life.

And I say guilty pleasure very intentionally because there is clearly guilt around this genre. You can see it in the way girls defend their consumption of it. Saying that the relationships are more equal. In reality a lot of the genre recreates male/female dynamics or manages to come up with very extreme power imbalance scenarios. I’ve heard of more than one that was basically a prince with some rape slave - very equality, much self-actualizing! In reality, enjoyment of the genre is a form of voyeurism, but it’s unladylike to say , “I like to watch ;)

I think something has gone really sideways about how people enjoy media and it’s hard to articulate, but I think about it a lot. It’s not supposed to be that serious. You should be able to read a comic about some gay nonsense, then vote “no” against hulking hons crushing women’s skulls in sports or even be against something like gay marriage! Did reading Flowers in the Attic or Game of Thrones make anyone want to make incest legal? You should be able to compartmentalize fiction from reality.
 
And I say guilty pleasure very intentionally because there is clearly guilt around this genre. You can see it in the way girls defend their consumption of it. Saying that the relationships are more equal. In reality a lot of the genre recreates male/female dynamics or manages to come up with very extreme power imbalance scenarios. I’ve heard of more than one that was basically a prince with some rape slave - very equality, much self-actualizing! In reality, enjoyment of the genre is a form of voyeurism, but it’s unladylike to say , “I like to watch ;)
This is a common argument made by them and you can see it in that "Why do women like yaoi?" Video. They argue male/female relationships are fundamentally unequal and that more emphasis is placed on the male characters' relationship and humanity. Women are reduced to a role and that gives them The Ick.

They then turn around and project themselves onto the masculine character - who is always the top and the stereotypical beefy guy who's larger and stronger than the twink - or the "feminine" one, who's smaller, thinner, and deemed the receptacle. It does not give them The Ick because no women are involved; if there are women, they are always disrespected and treated as barriers to the gay ship. Women complain about those stereotypes in het fiction and hentai while yaoi has the exact same stories - because it's written by women for women. Once they get political with their bullshit I roll my eyes. You aren't questioning or bringing down the Patriarchy - you're adhering to it and arguing that male characters can only be whole and complete because they can be fully sexualized yet humanized.

It's fine for them to be misogynistic, because by saying female characters aren't interesting, they're contributing to their lack of representation. Yet they all flock to male characters anyways, because they want to imagine themselves as men, and get fucked as men - because they believe that only men can be equals.
 
Ah, the duality of pooners. Yes, a woman who posts in r/teenagers is also posting in r/growyourclit to ask for advice stretching her labia. She is also a 5' 0" womanlet.

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I know Buffalo Bill as well as other trans-coded characters exist, but someone should really make a horror film about a pooner. r/GrowYourClit never ceases to be body horror to me.
Wuthering Heights
Wow that's a book I haven't heard about in forever. Brought back memories.
 
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An pooner and her girlfriend are having some issues due to Identities and labels

I'm not LGBT nor do I support it, but I don't understand this whole thing. They should just date bisexuals and fellow trannies (probably as a last resort) since aren't these guys just butch lesbians?
There's the other possibility that the GF is an actual bisexual, but she's into women or men, not weird gollum monsters with unnatural features. She only tells pooner that she's a lesbian to ease into a breakup.
 
A pooner asks the poonhive aka r/phallo how her fellow doods would navigate going to a massage parlor for a "rub and tug". I kid you not:

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What the hell does she expect to get out of it? She'll be asking a sex-trafficked Thai or Vietnamese immigrant woman who likely speaks poor English and is used to fending off creepy men who either don't want to pay for what they want or want something that she doesn't offer (like condomless sex) to tug on a piece of arm or leg flesh for... what purpose, exactly? Actually, if the masseuse isn't careful enough with the 'dog, she might actually pull it off the pooner's mons. This should be a scene in a raunchy comedy. Please make it happen!

The comments are, as you would expect, both hilarious and infuriating:

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Funny how they seem to believe the sex workers are all idiots.


No, Aydin. Nobody believes that your rotdog is just a "penis that comes without a boner", whatever the hell they believe that means.
 

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Do they think literal whores who have to deal with (probably the most nasty examples of) natal penises all the time cannot tell the difference? They're doing the whore thing of telling their john-uh....jane what they want to hear. That's the biggest part of the job. Making the john/jane think they're special boi.

"Oh, your flap of arm flesh never got hard...ha ha I just thought you could come soft tee hee!"
 
Do they think literal whores who have to deal with (probably the most nasty examples of) natal penises all the time cannot tell the difference? They're doing the whore thing of telling their john-uh....jane what they want to hear. That's the biggest part of the job. Making the john/jane think they're special boi.

"Oh, your flap of arm flesh never got hard...ha ha I just thought you could come soft tee hee!"
"Natal penis" is a nonsensical term to begin with, since there is only one type of penis. Think "aquatic fish" or "married husband".
 
Annecodotally
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(sorry I can't get to the actual link for whatever reason quickly)

The tone of the pooner is like "joking desperation" but there's a real panic in her eyes too
Was glancing through some of the responses to that Tiktok, and jfc I can't even with some of these ridiculous girls.

First, there's "Anakin" (19) showing off her doodliest dance moves, including lots of masculine hip shimmying and vamping for the camera:
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(poor girl seems to have some sort of breakout in that second one – side effects of T or just bad skin care?)

Turns out "Anakin" is another trendy pooner name:
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And one of the other pooners in her replies comes close to a dangerous realization:
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Next, we have "Sage" doing her best overweight-drag-king Captain Jack Sparrow impression:
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The sad thing is that this isn't even the first goth-clown-bearded-lady trainwreck in this thread.

A real-life acquaintance replies and they have a very masculine reunion moment:
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Last, from down under, we have very doodly ocker-poon "Fern" (interests: astrology and thrifting):
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Even when they try to imitate the more deranged MTFs, it's still half-hearted.

Found this exquisite pooner in hellish depths of reddit. Beware the spoiler though, it's there for a reason.
It still breaks my brain when people like this try to pass themselves off as "sex workers". Bitch, you seriously expect me to believe anybody's spending money on that?
 
"Natal penis" is a nonsensical term to begin with, since there is only one type of penis. Think "aquatic fish" or "married husband".
I'm not sure exactly how it works, but ackshually boys with 5-ard (the condition that Caster Semenya, Imane Khelif, and Lin Yu Ting all probably have) are born without penises and develop them at the start of puberty, so their penises would be non-natal.
 
I'm not sure exactly how it works, but ackshually boys with 5-ard (the condition that Caster Semenya, Imane Khelif, and Lin Yu Ting all probably have) are born without penises and develop them at the start of puberty, so their penises would be non-natal.
You're right that that is indeed not how it works. They don't "grow" penises. They're males with undervirilized genitalia. Gestation in the womb is the only time in human development when these structures can be formed. Sure, you can use an extreme case of a mutant as a rhetorical "gotcha!" but it doesn't negate the undeniable fact that a roid clit or a rotdog is not a penis and will never be one. You can play that game on all levels with biological taxonomy, BTW; a human with a parasitic conjoined twin protruding from their waist doesn't negate the fact that no terrestrial hexapod body plan exists. It's not meaningful on any level outside of semantics and just as useless.
 
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A pooner asks the poonhive aka r/phallo how her fellow doods would navigate going to a massage parlor for a "rub and tug". I kid you not:

View attachment 7198581

What the hell does she expect to get out of it? She'll be asking a sex-trafficked Thai or Vietnamese immigrant woman who likely speaks poor English and is used to fending off creepy men who either don't want to pay for what they want or want something that she doesn't offer (like condomless sex) to tug on a piece of arm or leg flesh for... what purpose, exactly? Actually, if the masseuse isn't careful enough with the 'dog, she might actually pull it off the pooner's mons. This should be a scene in a raunchy comedy. Please make it happen!

The comments are, as you would expect, both hilarious and infuriating:

View attachment 7198623

Funny how they seem to believe the sex workers are all idiots.


No, Aydin. Nobody believes that your rotdog is just a "penis that comes without a boner", whatever the hell they believe that means.
LMAO!!!

It’s very obvious that nobody here has ever been to one of those places.

They work on a time basis usually. You pay for say, half an hour of regular massage, and in the last five minutes they ask if you want a happy ending.

No, they’re not going to sit and wait for you to “pump”, they’re not going to discuss what kind of touch that turns you on (LOL!) and they especially won’t give you ten minutes to put your flappy rotdog into a plastic condom so you can pretend you’re hard.

And they certainly won’t understand you weird Reddit language about being a real man with “buried junk” and how you have “erotic sensation on the underside”.

Whatever pooner goes into one of those places will be in vigor a hilarious and very humiliating experience. I expect words like “You no hard, no happy ending! No boom boom!” Being spoken.
 
@Fapcop

Granted I don't always speak dude, but wouldn't a man consider it rather humiliating if he went to a sex worker and couldn't get it up? These pooners talk about how they could "justify" the flappy rotdog by enthusiastically claiming erectile dysfunction, like it's some catchy new identity for them to try on instead of something that an actual man with a medical or psychological condition has that is universally associated with so much shame and self-loathing?
 
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A pooner asks the poonhive aka r/phallo how her fellow doods would navigate going to a massage parlor for a "rub and tug". I kid you not:

View attachment 7198581

What the hell does she expect to get out of it? She'll be asking a sex-trafficked Thai or Vietnamese immigrant woman who likely speaks poor English and is used to fending off creepy men who either don't want to pay for what they want or want something that she doesn't offer (like condomless sex) to tug on a piece of arm or leg flesh for... what purpose, exactly? Actually, if the masseuse isn't careful enough with the 'dog, she might actually pull it off the pooner's mons. This should be a scene in a raunchy comedy. Please make it happen!

The comments are, as you would expect, both hilarious and infuriating:

View attachment 7198623

Funny how they seem to believe the sex workers are all idiots.


No, Aydin. Nobody believes that your rotdog is just a "penis that comes without a boner", whatever the hell they believe that means.
"Seen everything form micro to huge to double phallus"

Bitch what?
Are they talking about their weird clit under their rotdog? Considering she specifically said they may have seen phallo seperate to this, it sounds like she thinks there really are some normal men going around with two fucking dicks.
I wonder if that post will inspire some to go with their T dicks only.
(Fucking creeps, btw. So much for solidarity lasses)
I hope a pooner struts in with her roid clit and gets battered and chased out. "we no resbian, you go now!"
 
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