Ways Chris could make money

[QI 541]

Chris could find a sleazy lawyer and try some litigation. Keyword TRY. Say a manager yelling at him caused Chris to suffer emotional distress and play the autism card. Right Judge, right approach Chris could make a pretty penny. That is, if he could keep his mouth shut in court.

Again, TRY.

Well, if he opens his mouth, the lawyer could use that to bring up a strong case of Chris' crippling autism and how he can't control his actions, might actually get him sympathy. Or contempt, not sure.

Maybe they'll finally take away his driver's license?

 

[SodomyRocket]

Chris could find a sleazy lawyer and try some litigation. Keyword TRY. Say a manager yelling at him caused Chris to suffer emotional distress and play the autism card. Right Judge, right approach Chris could make a pretty penny. That is, if he could keep his mouth shut in court.

Again, TRY.

Well, if he opens his mouth, the lawyer could use that to bring up a strong case of Chris' crippling autism and how he can't control his actions, might actually get him sympathy. Or contempt, not sure.

Maybe they'll finally take away his driver's license?

Of course not that would be the responsible thing to do. This is the DMV after all.

 

[observer]

I know that NASA will pay you 18,000 to lie in bed for three months to test the effects of bone and muscle loss. Chris practically does that anyway

and they pay about $15 an hour to work at McD in Australia and they are doing good business, so I think that american macdonalds can cop the loss of a minimum wage increase

 

[LordCustos3]

I know that NASA will pay you 18,000 to lie in bed for three months to test the effects of bone and muscle loss. Chris practically does that anyway

I suspect if Chris loses any more bone or muscle mass, he'd have the consistency of very runny pudding and would have to removed from the bed with an ice-cream scoop.

 

[cypocryphy]

I'd like to see him try to make his own counterfeit money.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Brother, Chris could become a fetish escort for gay men into fat, smelly, unkempt manchildren that crap their pants.

 

[SodomyRocket]

I know that NASA will pay you 18,000 to lie in bed for three months to test the effects of bone and muscle loss. Chris practically does that anyway

I suspect if Chris loses any more bone or muscle mass, he'd have the consistency of very runny pudding and would have to removed from the bed with an ice-cream scoop.

gelatinous cube

 

[RagtimeRoastBeefy]

chris lives less than a mile from an alpaca farm, he could tend the alpacas. meghan could be lenny

 

[MetroidJunkie]

I suspect if Chris loses any more bone or muscle mass, he'd have the consistency of very runny pudding and would have to removed from the bed with an ice-cream scoop.

His bone and muscle mass would likely remain the same since he wouldn't be using much less energy than he already does.

 

[exball]

We could harvest any organs he hasn't ruined for black market purposes.
(Definitely making some money, maybe not for him, but for someone.)

looks like I'm finally gona get to use these.

God damn those are some manly as scissors.

 

[SodomyRocket]

^ would you believe I won them in a drunken brawl fighting bikers and skin heads.
they were gona offer me the Holy Lance of Antioch. But I said fuck that shit and took
the most bad assed scissors ever. 8-)

 

[Fialovy]

He could sell authentic Sonichu merchandise on Etsy!

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

He could sell authentic Sonichu merchandise on Etsy!

That, actually, could work. There's probably an upper limit to how much Sonichu merch could actually sell over the long run, but some carefully thought-out and well-made items could fetch a pretty penny. Since it involves effort and skill, it won't happen.

But seriously... I have no doubt that Chris could sell 5-6 previously unreleased comics for $100 each.

 

[___]

He gets a YouTube partnership or a Blip.tv account and returns to da Internet video business. Sure he's a sellout, but people will still watch him.

This idea has been brought up many times, but it would require Chris finally embracing the trolls instead of fighting them and blaming them for everything. He could support http://www.teambullyproof.com/ Instead of being team blame trolls

 

[Reshiram]

People saying he couldn't profit from Youtube are wrong. He could make a KILLING off of Youtube.

That imgur link only got 4000+ views.
Imgur is used to host the image only, and really the only place the link was posted was on this forum - the people who have stuck with Chris all this time through the dry period.

Youtube is totally different. Let's say I go on Youtube and watch some weird video, it may then suggest I watch one of Chris'. Now imagine I hadn't seen Chris before, I watch a few videos that Youtube has served up, and bam, I'm hooked.

I have friends who don't use the Internet much outside of Facebook who know who Chris is. The only reason he is now off the radar is because of his lack of videos. If he wanted to get back onto Youtube tomorrow and start making videos, any sorts of videos at all, it wouldn't be more than a couple of weeks before he had tens of thousands of people watching his every move again. Also, consider how Youtube ranks its content creators. It no longer ranks based on number of views, it ranks for the time watched and number of videos watched in a single sitting. If Chris uploaded 3 long, crazy, rambling videos a day he'd be skyrocketed through the Youtube channel ranks. If he could get past his ego and mentally make some sort of barrier he could be making an absolute fortune. He could go on to do TV appearances. Imagine if he even wrote a book? He could seriously be capitalising on all of this. But he's just too fucking stupid.

 

[ExtraPickles]

I dunno, isn't there a place he could go for adults where they could learn to do simple jobs under supervision? I don't mean like a group home or anything. I mean, like, a program for adults with different issues where they learn how to live on their own and make their own money.

I think there was a program like that a few of the special ed. kids I knew attended after they graduated high school. I could be wrong though.

Otherwise, I think selling the movie rights to his life would be a good way to earn some extra cash.

 

[sparklemilhouse]

^ I think Goodwill does that sometimes. Depends on where you live.

 

[Fialovy]

[youtube]2mClfU2NStY[/youtube]

He could always sort glass

 

[Mr. 0]

shit

Very wishful thinking. As it stands, Chris's current videos have shitloads of A-logging in the comments (due to obvious lack of context that we at the forums have), and his audience is generally readers of ED, or people who heard about him from /b/ and then some. Not to mention several people here have stated why they don't tell anyone IRL about him, so good luck explaining him if you get someone to see his videos.

And I think YouTube only gives you good money if you get views within the hundred thousands or millions. I could be wrong though.

 

[SodomyRocket]

[youtube]2mClfU2NStY[/youtube]

He could always sort glass

Chris would quit when they wouldn't allow him to wear his tom girl crap because its a safety hazard.