What are the dumbest names people’s parents cursed them with?

  • 🐕 I am attempting to get the site runnning as fast as possible. If you are experiencing slow page load times, please report it.
Deezy said:
How about Varicella?

The worst I’ve seen was a (black) girl whose legal first name was “Chinesegirl.”

Second worst is “Saphire” but spelled like “Saffiyah”
Click to expand...
"Saffiyah" (the Anglicized spelling varies) is an Arabic name, common among Muslim women. But it's not pronounced like "sapphire," except by black Americans; it's more like "Sophia," but with an "a" sound instead. (See: popular YouTube influencer Safiya Nygaard)

On an unrelated note, I remember a forum I was on back in the early '00s having a complete meltdown when a young negress decided to name her newborn son Casein (pronounced "ka-SEE-un"), blissfully unaware that she'd just named her kid after a milk protein. She staunchly defended her choice, because she wanted him to have a completely unique name.

During the uproar, she also boasted that she was starting her own business, but in reality she had signed on to an especially shady MLM. She had absolutely no clue what the difference was between a legit business and an MLM, even after I spent a couple of hours making a polite, good-faith attempt to explain it to her in chat. Some dumb just can't be fixed.

Sometimes I remember her, and wonder where Casein is now; he'd be in his early 20s now.
 
  • Feels
  • Informative
  • Like
Reactions: Deezy, Pina Colada, From The Uncanny Valley and 7 others
Grand Duke Snowfall said:
I remember back in 6th grade, one of my classmates was a girl named America. That one got some raised eyebrows.
Click to expand...
Funny, "America" was actually once a personal name, the first name of half-legendary Amerigo Vespucci.

From America - Etymonline:
The man's name Amerigo is Germanic, said to derive from Gothic Amalrich, literally "work-ruler." The Old English form of the name has come down as surnames Emmerich, Emery, etc. The Italian fem. form merged into Amelia.
Click to expand...
I always thought using America as a girl's name was a little strange but I guess those parents were onto something.
 
  • Agree
  • Like
Reactions: Pina Colada, From The Uncanny Valley, The Lawgiver and 2 others
I probably posted this here already, but "Lemonjello" and "Melonjello". The mother was illiterate and grabbed two boxes from her cupboard before heading to the hospital to have her twins. The nurses tried to get her to not name her daughters after her favorite types of jello, but she insisted she liked the sound of the words and that's the names they got stuck with.
 
  • Like
  • Disagree
Reactions: CHARizard, Orange Rhymer and Ensign Faggot
1698772528099.png
 
  • Lunacy
  • Islamic Content
Reactions: Pina Colada, From The Uncanny Valley, Rubick and 2 others
WhiskeyJack said:
I probably posted this here already, but "Lemonjello" and "Melonjello". The mother was illiterate and grabbed two boxes from her cupboard before heading to the hospital to have her twins. The nurses tried to get her to not name her daughters after her favorite types of jello, but she insisted she liked the sound of the words and that's the names they got stuck with.
Click to expand...
The best part is the pronunciation on these, the audiobook goes into it.

Lah-mon-shello

Mah-lon-shello

I still think about that chapter of Freaknomonics all these years later, it also talked about the two brothers Loser and Winner.
 
  • Like
  • Informative
Reactions: Pina Colada, From The Uncanny Valley and Orange Rhymer
Sirspartucus
I read this article years ago and the name always stuck with me because of how dumb it was. The article actually spells his name wrong as his full name is "Sirspartucus" and not "Sir Spartucus".
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back