Containment What If?

[An Ounce of Vagina]

If Chris commits a major crime it will be by accident or sheer stupidity. No matter how much he rants and raves about how he will have his vengeance against everyone who has ever inconvenienced him, the truth is that would take too much effort. Look at his posts about Megan. The worst he could think to do was say that a character she made years ago doesn't like her, and that probably exhausted him to imagine.

 

[Dork Of Ages]

Nah, Chris is a pussy, he wouldn't cause a major offense unless he did something REAL stupid.

 

[CWCissey]

It would be accidental (my guess would be for attempted murder or manslaughter if you're interested.) but Chris would burn. He would go to prison, piss off the wrong people on the first day and get beaten up, the guards would be sick of him by hour 7 and would allow it up to a point. Chris then spends the rest of his prison term as the prison punching bag as even the prison snitch won't make Chris their bitch.

 

[Judge Holden]

He will be thrown in cwcville jail, where he will be raped by a bunch of niggos

 

[MrTroll]

Chris wouldn't molest or kidnap anyone. Take a swing at a cop who is called to deal with him defacing store merchandise or loitering, maybe.

 

[Kosher Dill]

He'd get thrown in jail and demand his phone call, and then he'd demand that they put him in touch with Tiffany Gowen. Jail pretty much has to put you in contact with anyone you ask for, right?

 

[CWCissey]

Chris wouldn't molest or kidnap anyone. Take a swing at a cop who is called to deal with him defacing store merchandise or loitering, maybe.

Or accidentally running down Snyder again, causing serious injuries this time.

 

[SlowInTheMinds]

Yeah, sure they do. They're small, but vocal. I bet that they'd make an example out of Chris and lobby for a cure.

I happen to have an autism spectrum disorder myself, but I prefer to let my actions define me, not my neurological differences.

>implying a cure is the worst thing to ever happen to those with autism

Whoever came up with opposing a cure deserves to be shot, IMO.

 

[impossibility]

kidnapping.

That would require some sort of imposition of physical force over a victim, which Chris isn't very capable of.

child molestation.

Not going to happen. If Chris was a pedofork (he's not), he'd have been arrested MadThad-style a long time ago after openly talking about a love for CP.

The Snyder incident 2 years ago is about the worst trouble I can see Chris getting into. Or some other tardraging in a car incident that may result in worse damages.

 

[Pikonic]

Kidnapping and child molestation, no. Lets say intentional assault.
I'd think a serious offense he'd be deemed mentally unstable to stand trial and spend some years at a psych ward.

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

I personally would go just to see how bad his advice would be .

 

[Mourning Dove]

Crayola-colored Cubist nightmares all around!

 

[CatParty]

have you seen how he holds a pen?!

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

have you seen how he holds a pen?!

I could totally see him teaching people that.

 

[Holdek]

And Chris heard it? Since he has the naivete of a 1930s man in the 21st century, do you think he would believe a Martian invasion was really happening and crap his briefs like apparently a lot of people did back when it was first broadcast?

And when he found out the truth would he curse the soul of the troll Orson Wells?

 

[Watcher]

Chris likely wouldn't give a shit.

War of the worlds's radio broadcast was made at a time things like parodying news broadcasts and satire was a brand new thing. It tried to be authentic and it succeeded.

Nowadays we watch action movies that suspend our disbelief in portraying alien invasions and they come out every year

 

[Holdek]

As this is the realm of the hypothetical and hyperbollically derranged (and also because I am bored at this present moment), I think we should start a chain of Moral Dilemmas based around our beloved manchild and his antics. I will ask you what your course of action will be in a certain moral dilemma and you respond, then ask another for someone else to answer.

To start off I will ask this

Would you allow Chris to use you for hanky panky if it saved CatParty's life?

Yes I would, but I would come AND fucking throw up simultaneously. (DEFINITELY STRAIGHT.)

 

[champthom]

On the one hand, Chris probably does listen to the radio as I know he's into John Mathis or some lite radio personality, and he gets a lot of his notions about dating from him. On the other hand, bad news tends to stress him out. So I think he'd hear the report and turn the station because it'd be too stressful for him.

I heard that they rebroadcasted the original show in the 70s and people responded the same exact way as when it was first broadcasted- general panic.

 

[CatParty]

if they peppered with sugary pop music he may care about it.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Brother, if he did believe it, he would certainly wish he took up becoming a Hulkamaniac. If aliens invaded, humanity would be in big trouble. Thank God there are millions of little Hulksters out there, training, saying their prayers and eating their vitamins. President Obama, don't worry, brother. The Hulkster has your back, man. The Hulkster would challenge their leader to a match up in the squared circle, man. Their alien ray guns and weaponry would be no match for the awesome power of Hulkamania, the strongest force in the universe. The Hulkster and all the little Hulksters would summon up our strength and bodyslam them into the ground. The impact would be so big that it would shake the earth so much that the moon would come crashing down into the Earth. But don't you worry about that, man. The Hulkster would catch the moon, and then throw it back into orbit. But you, aliens... the Hulkster wishes you would have such a happy ending. After the moon was placed back into orbit, the Hulkster would follow up with a big leg drop and the three count, and it would be all over for you, man. WHATCHA GONNA DO, ALIEN INVADERS, WHEN THESE 24 INCH PYTHONS RUN WILD ON YOU?!