Containment What If?

Hasharin said:
He would show Sonichu to the Supreme Leader himself, who would be impressed by it (seeing similarity between himself and Chris) and enslave Chris to make some more Sonichu volumes preaching the Juche Idea. Chris would be presented as a True American Patriot, head of TRUE and HONEST people's U.S. government-in-exile in North Korea.
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Or just translate everything into Korean and change a few words around.

For instance, the trolls are changed into 'The Imperialists', and the PVCC is renamed to US Government.

This could actually work...

brb sending email to dprk
 
CalmMyTits said:
I'm not sure about withering because come on, look at his current state. His mind and soul are already pretty much withered away.
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Yeah, but even now he's held up by his martyr complex, as he's sure that every bad thing in his life is the result of trolls coming at him left and right. If the trolls left completely, Chris wouldn't have that to prop him up anymore. He'd still try to find excuses for everything but it'd be a lot harder to do, especially since he'd have to realize that he's not as famous as he once thought he was.

It'd be interesting, to say the least. If we're going to play into the idea that he'd go over as a guest of the government, he'd probably either bend over and kiss the feet of KJU or he'd try to take a swing "fo da democracy" and end up getting a bajillion holes put into him. Otherwise I think he'd go over, blow all of his money on food and knickknacks, then end up posting constantly on facebook that he needs people to send him dough so he can afford to eat tomorrow. He'd still have his ticket and I doubt he'd sell that, although he might try to leave early once he ran out of money.

I doubt he'd end up in jail or anything, although I think he'd probably try a little hard to see if the "suckee suckee two dolla" stereotype applies to every country.
 
He'd complain that there aren't any McDonald's or any sort of fast food places.

He'd probably cause a diplomatic crisis when he has a tantrum about him not being allowed into a specific place or or to go out unescorted by tour guides or taking pictures of things without permission and would be taken into custody.

I don't think he'd really understand what was going on or notice that the country is a dictator run hell hole. He'd think the statues and the propaganda posters look pretty without understanding what they're about.
 
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Here we are again bro... Just you and me. Same kind of moon same kind of jungle. Real number 10 remember... Whole platoon, 32 men chopped into meat. We walk out just you and me, nobody else. Right on top of em! Not a scratch... Not a fuckin' scratch. You know who ever got you, they'll come back again and when he does I'm gonna cut your name right into him... I'm gonna cut your name into him.

:cry: :cry:

He grew up in NWA/WCW territory. He would have grown up watching Ric Flair and Sting. Bob probably wouldn't let him watch that crap from up in New York. :tomgirl:
 
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CatParty said:
If he were a wrestler, he'd be a cross between bastion booger and adrian adonis
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Or he could team up with Mick Foley and form the tag team of Mankind and Manchild.
 
Maybe instead of Sonichu he's make his own wrestling OCs like "Stone Cold" Rocky Maivia or Hulk Flair or something.
 
champthom said:
He'd complain that there aren't any McDonald's or any sort of fast food places.

He'd probably cause a diplomatic crisis when he has a tantrum about him not being allowed into a specific place or or to go out unescorted by tour guides or taking pictures of things without permission and would be taken into custody.

I don't think he'd really understand what was going on or notice that the country is a dictator run hell hole. He'd think the statues and the propaganda posters look pretty without understanding what they're about.
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Considering that, that would mostly be what happens.
 
They would use him as an example of western decadence.
 
I mean a classic looking one obese, clown make-up, and of course white. Of course there will be the drug use and drinking, but is Chris desperate enough for pussy to date a juggalo girl and if he did how would the relationship work out?
 
champthom said:
He'd complain that there aren't any McDonald's or any sort of fast food places.

He'd probably cause a diplomatic crisis when he has a tantrum about him not being allowed into a specific place or or to go out unescorted by tour guides or taking pictures of things without permission and would be taken into custody.

I don't think he'd really understand what was going on or notice that the country is a dictator run hell hole. He'd think the statues and the propaganda posters look pretty without understanding what they're about.
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Oh, look, This King Dong Ooooon is a mayor....juss like me! :sonichu:

I wonder which one will be dumber and smell worse.
 
Something tells me he's certainly not above dating a devout ICP fan. I figure said "juggalette" would be a Ruckersville local who found out about him through a marijuana/xanax fueled evening of YouTube watching. She'd probably seek him out at one of his favorite haunts and initiate a "relationship" with him in order to leech some tugboat money off of him for weed/pills, as well as bumming free rides from him.

She'd keep him in the dark about his drug use (probably not hard to do), but I'm sure Barbara would poison Chris's opinion of her with her suspicions, which in this case would probably be grounded in reality. After about three months of awkward hangouts, with the occasional grope he would exaggerate on Facebook as some sort of sex, he'd have to cease all communication with her, but only in light of Barb's urging. That, or she would realize that she's hit rock bottom, lavarse las hands de Chris, and then straighten out her life, actively trying to regain custody of her children as well as looking into getting enrolled in a technical college.
 
I would love for trolls to be interviewed, but in silhouette. And for the silhouette to be Clyde Cash's spikey-haired head.
 
Whichever brand he would have chosen to watch in the late 90s- WWF or WCW- he would have had his characteristic brand loyalty towards to the bitter end.

It makes me wonder what sort of CWCism 'HEXBox' wordplay names he would use for the brands and wrestlers that he opposed.
 
The correct answer here is some combination of the following;

Tammy Sytch
Melissa Hiatt,
Sheri Martel,
Gertrude Vachon,
Rena Mero,
Debra Miceli,
Terri Runnels,
Nancy Benoit,
Francine Fournier

Which means the :tugboat: would have gone to get a photo under the covers with Sytch this prior month and the legend of CWC wouldn't be near as entertaining because he would have rejected all things :hulkster: due to being sickened at the sight of him tearing off the T-Shirt before every match.

(ETA:

Targaryen said:
Also what if Chris actually WAS a wrestler? I feel like a psychotic vengeful basement dwelling autistic man-child could be one of THE great heel characters.
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So what you're saying is Zach Ryder is really still a heel? It all makes sense now but he's not one of THE great heel characters.)
 
impossibility said:
Whichever brand he would have chosen to watch in the late 90s- WWF or WCW- he would have had his characteristic brand loyalty towards to the bitter end.

It makes me wonder what sort of CWCism 'HEXBox' wordplay names he would use for the brands and wrestlers that he opposed.
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Oh man it's weird you mention that cos just the other day I was ruminating on Chris's intense HEXBOX brand loyalty thing and thinking how it reminded me of how dementedly loyal to WWF I was during the promotional war. As an adult it just feels so arbitrary and bizarre how much it meant to me. Don't even know WHY I favoured WWF so much bar tribalism. Like I bought ALL of the anti-WCW propaganda- I remember shouting TAKE THAT BILLIONAIRE TED at the TV in total earnest when X-Pac came back to the WWF and made some anti-WCW type "shoot" remarks.

In my defence I was barely a teenager..
 
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If Chris was a wrestler, he'd be Mark Henry during his Sexual Chocolate phase.
 
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