Containment What If?
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Re: What if Our Pet Lolcow got into a fistfight?
I have an image like Blob from X-Men where the attacker is just sucked into Chris' gravitational pull and never heard from again.
A Witty Name said:
I have an image like Blob from X-Men where the attacker is just sucked into Chris' gravitational pull and never heard from again.
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ON 190
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Mass suicides.
I'm wondering if his faith healing touch would work through the slimy layer of grease his skin exudes. If not, would he have to shower for it to work? If that's the case, he could be hiding that power under layers of unshowered filth.
The "uncurling" mechanism of his MASSIVE CYBER DONG would rust shut in the "bent" position.
Sobbing, curling into a ball of flab, and
The long sought-after pinnacle of Chris' existence.
I'm wondering if his faith healing touch would work through the slimy layer of grease his skin exudes. If not, would he have to shower for it to work? If that's the case, he could be hiding that power under layers of unshowered filth.
The "uncurling" mechanism of his MASSIVE CYBER DONG would rust shut in the "bent" position.
Sobbing, curling into a ball of flab, and
The long sought-after pinnacle of Chris' existence.
Thepicklesuit
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What would of happened if Chris made youtube videos during his high school days and the trolls discovered him do you think his classmates would react the same way and join on the trolling?
Bridechu
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I was talking with a friend of mine who monitors the board Jin15 is on because he has a weird fascination with the people there who almost believe their imaginary pony waifus are real. He's a psyche major who's specializing in young adults and he's thinking of doing his thesis on the otakus who do this sort of thing. I mentioned that Chris kind of sees his Sonichus in the same way, pointing out the similarities between the Asperchu series "changing" Chris's head town and Jin15 freaking on a fan artist for degrading "his" pony.
What if Chris joined the ranks of pony fuckers with his own pony waifu? Would the accept him into their clique or would he be too weird for even them? And which unfortunate mare would have the honour of being his very special somepony?
What if Chris joined the ranks of pony fuckers with his own pony waifu? Would the accept him into their clique or would he be too weird for even them? And which unfortunate mare would have the honour of being his very special somepony?
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Kosher Dill said:
I think this is the best art I have seen out of Chris, not saying much, but still...
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Don't worry, Christorians. There will be a CXC or Chris 2.0. Maybe not tomorrow, not next year, but someday one will show up.
I've given this some thought and came to the conclusion that sooner or later someone who's at least as stupid, trollable and infantile as Chris will enter the stage of the intarwebz. This is simply the law of large numbers. Hyperlolcows like Chris are statistically rare, but with 7 billion humans and counting a certain number of them is bound to pop into existence. And with digital communication - computers, smartphones, tablets etc. - becoming ever more widespread, sooner or later one of these potentials Chrises will be given access to the digital world. Wait, enjoy life, be patient, someday the lulz will roll in.
I've given this some thought and came to the conclusion that sooner or later someone who's at least as stupid, trollable and infantile as Chris will enter the stage of the intarwebz. This is simply the law of large numbers. Hyperlolcows like Chris are statistically rare, but with 7 billion humans and counting a certain number of them is bound to pop into existence. And with digital communication - computers, smartphones, tablets etc. - becoming ever more widespread, sooner or later one of these potentials Chrises will be given access to the digital world. Wait, enjoy life, be patient, someday the lulz will roll in.
DrChristianTroy
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One day, some distant day, there will be an heir to the throne. As DykesDykesChina said it is inevitable considering how many people are in the world. From there it all depends on who is, for lack of a better word, in control of the trolling. I can see it going one of three ways...
The Inner Circle is in control- They have already trolled Chris. They have seen what has worked, what hasn't and most importantly where the breaking point is. They have experience with a Chris-esque lolcow and know what they are doing most likely. Unfortunately from what we can tell from Marvin and Alec they generally seem to be out of the lolcow game. At this point they are pretty much done with Chris and as far as I know haven't done it in quite awhile. Regardless if we wanted extended lulz this would be our best bet.
Chances of Happening- 5% if that
New Inner Circle- With new lolcows comes new blood. That is where this theoretical new Inner Circle comes into play. They have watched and laughed at Chris but now they have one of their own. I see this going similar to Chris in that early sagas are simple. A fake sweetheart here, a fake Miyamoto there. Over time, partly intentional and partly happenstance, it gets more complex. More elaborate sagas emerge. Eventually though, despite learning a bit from the old guard, they push it too far and CXC goes into seclusion like the Chris of today. Still they milked this lolcow and got plenty of content.
Chances of Happening- 50%
Epic Weens/A-Logs- Basically a bunch of goofs that get info for a short time but the lolcow quickly goes into seclusion/falls into obscurity. We have seen it quite a bit with other potential lolcows. They may get an ED page but nothing as extensive as Chris.
Chances of Happening- 95%
TL;DR- A lolcow with as much content as Chris seems inevitable. Unfortunately the chances of it becoming as big or as coordinated as it was with Chris are highly unlikely.
The Inner Circle is in control- They have already trolled Chris. They have seen what has worked, what hasn't and most importantly where the breaking point is. They have experience with a Chris-esque lolcow and know what they are doing most likely. Unfortunately from what we can tell from Marvin and Alec they generally seem to be out of the lolcow game. At this point they are pretty much done with Chris and as far as I know haven't done it in quite awhile. Regardless if we wanted extended lulz this would be our best bet.
Chances of Happening- 5% if that
New Inner Circle- With new lolcows comes new blood. That is where this theoretical new Inner Circle comes into play. They have watched and laughed at Chris but now they have one of their own. I see this going similar to Chris in that early sagas are simple. A fake sweetheart here, a fake Miyamoto there. Over time, partly intentional and partly happenstance, it gets more complex. More elaborate sagas emerge. Eventually though, despite learning a bit from the old guard, they push it too far and CXC goes into seclusion like the Chris of today. Still they milked this lolcow and got plenty of content.
Chances of Happening- 50%
Epic Weens/A-Logs- Basically a bunch of goofs that get info for a short time but the lolcow quickly goes into seclusion/falls into obscurity. We have seen it quite a bit with other potential lolcows. They may get an ED page but nothing as extensive as Chris.
Chances of Happening- 95%
TL;DR- A lolcow with as much content as Chris seems inevitable. Unfortunately the chances of it becoming as big or as coordinated as it was with Chris are highly unlikely.
Bob's Fries
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YouDorks said:Holy shit that is a fuckton of bombastic parellelism/asydeton. AP English made my writing so pretentious... apologies if it came out that way.
Fucking hell, I took AP Lit and I probably can't write like this. I feel like a dumbass now. No wonder I got the 3 on that AP test.
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YouDorks
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Well, what a damned coincidence. I just finished my junior AP English Language and Composition exam today and fucking smoked it save for one synthesis prompt that will from this day forward haunt me forever. I did the best I could despite the fact that I have a slight learning disability in that process and compute very slowly, performing horribly under time pressure. Time management has always been and always will be Hell for me. It's been measured on state IQ tests. I have a genius-level verbal comprehension to make up for it, though. I'm probably genuinely entitled to an extended time accommodation on both AP tests and the SAT, but for whatever reason Collegeboard decided to screw me over twice on that. Whatever... it feels more honorable to be held to the same standards as everyone else without an easily-abused handicap...Saito said:Fucking hell, I took AP Lit and I probably can't write like this. I feel like a dumbass now. No wonder I got the 3 on that AP test.YouDorks said:Holy shit that is a fuckton of bombastic parellelism/asydeton. AP English made my writing so pretentious... apologies if it came out that way.
Unlike some people we know.
Back on topic, I see trolling, done well*, as a sort of cool new niche artform. Chris is quality entertainment, like a reality TV show where it's not all fake and the improv actors all retreat back to their Beverly Hills enclave at the end of the shoot, hounded by paparazzi. I was describing in a Chris thread how YouTube should partner with him under the guise of "A comic book deal" or something like that, paying out a living wage that would, in time, replace his tugboat. They'd have to loosen content guidelines a bit... basically just tell him: "Put out at least one video a day... anything you want save for CP." After all, Chris is a work unto himself. (Perhaps making the coincidences full circle, I used that phrase on two of my essay prompts today!)
If you really want to get into a kind of hardcore Christorical meta-discussion, I guess the problem with this sort of thinking that there will be "another CWC" is the same problem a lot of Modernist historians had with determinism, cycle theories, all manner of grand unifying narratives that, like Freudian psychoanalysis, worked great as English major circumlocution but fared terribly as actual, objective academic discipline. It is the essence of why PoMo is so popular these days to the point where psuedo-intellectual dickheads** toss it around as a sort of pretentious bolstering word they have no understanding of. There's no guarantee that CXC would fall into a similar enough behavior pattern of egocentric ignorance to be proven wrong again and again in a cycle of perpetual schadenfreude. As of yet, there is only one Chris. We can only hope that someday, another unholy miracle of myopia and bad parenting will stick around long enough, sink low enough.
Just some food for thought... what if trolling became a legitimate art form with dedicated professionals? Like, there'd be some secretive, covert deal on YouTube to pay some delusional schmuck who'd otherwise sit on welfare for the rest of his life to regularly produce content. Successful trolls would get a small cut as mercenaries. It'd be a circus maximus of a new type of unintentional, exploitative comedy reliant on audience participation. I'll be honest, I've never seen anything like the CWC phenomenon in any other sort of medium. This is totally new media.
Of course, it would never happen due to broadcasting ethics and White Knights inevitably cluing in the stars. Still... food for thought.
* Note that by "done well", I mean on some inner circle forum like PVCC that would weed out A-Logs/Epic Weens.
** TOTALLY NOT PROJECTING ANYTHING, LULZ!
BigAltheGreat921
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I don't really consider trolling an "art form." It's not too different from cyberbullying, and that's what happened to Chris. He was harassed and forced to do some really bizarre things in the name of acquiring China. He still bears those scars today, on top of his crazy paranoia in the form of Facebook posts. So, the idea of "professional" trolling would probably not bode well with a lot of people. Especially since bullying/cyberbullying is a hot-button issue right now and many kids have killed themselves because they can't deal with it in a constructive manner.
BlockyStyle
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Kosher Dill said:
Tetsu Deinonychus said:
Failure Is the Only Option - TV Tropes
A series premise that allows the heroes or the villains to win minor battles along the way but prevents them from ever truly winning their overall "war" and achieving the Series Goal without ending or completely changing the series. They can't …tvtropes.org
This about sums it up.
With each further "what if," Chris would feel that he's more entitled to sex - "but I won the contest for you!" - "but you came to the expo with me!" - but yeah, the end result is the same in every possible world.
Also, even if they did go, shecameforcwc.jpg would probably still have been uploaded. All roads lead to Rome.
AtroposHeart said:
Hm, you're right, it's not bad! At first I thought it was probably traced. There's [cwc=[URL]http://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:21-Bee-Riana_Card.jpg]another[/URL] card[/cwc] with a pony in the same pose, but they're not identical. Maybe Chris copied a picture, maybe his tracing is really terrible, or maybe he drew from a real MLP toy and got lucky just one time. Some of his [cwc=[URL]http://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:32-Modest_Manna_Card.jpg]other[/URL] efforts[/cwc] are closer to his usual form.
The second pony drawing definitely isn't a copy of a copy, though. That'd be too close to a parody of a parody.
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I agree with DrChristianTroy's analysis, but probabilities of mutually exclusive occurrences should add up to 1~100%.
E.g.
Inner circle: 0.5%
New inner circle: 4.5%
A-logs/epic ween kids: 95%
Re: What if Our Pet Lolcow got into a fistfight?
Realistically speaking, things might be pretty balanced if he fought me, since I have very low muscle mass and skinny arms.
I do a lot of walking and hiking in the hills though, while CWC considers playing Guitar Hero to be excercise... So I may be terrifically athletic compared to him. But his smell would probably render me unconscious immediately.
E.g.
Inner circle: 0.5%
New inner circle: 4.5%
A-logs/epic ween kids: 95%
Re: What if Our Pet Lolcow got into a fistfight?
Realistically speaking, things might be pretty balanced if he fought me, since I have very low muscle mass and skinny arms.
I do a lot of walking and hiking in the hills though, while CWC considers playing Guitar Hero to be excercise... So I may be terrifically athletic compared to him. But his smell would probably render me unconscious immediately.
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YouDorks
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Disney would air it once and hundreds of children would lapse into seizures, like with that banned Pokemon episode.
For those who don't know what I'm referring to, I'm referring to the magus tournament in Fate/Stay Night, a kickass Anime and Visual Novel series. Basically, 7 magi, "Masters" summon a "Servant", a historical or mythological figure for the purpose of fighting other Servants in a War to acquire the holy grail, which grants wishes. The holy grail is "filled" when 6 servants have been killed. Each servant falls under a specialized class (Saber, Archer, Lancer, Rider, Caster, Assassin, Beserker) and are referred to by the name of their class. For example, the series protagonist Emiya Shirou summons Saber, a gender-flipped King Arthur, to protect him and fight other masters for the grail. The universe and magic rules are ridiculously complicated and are often broken, but that's the gist of the plot.
What servant would Chris summon? How would he fare in the War? Would he use his servant for nefarious purposes?Would he die when killed?
For those who don't know what I'm referring to, I'm referring to the magus tournament in Fate/Stay Night, a kickass Anime and Visual Novel series. Basically, 7 magi, "Masters" summon a "Servant", a historical or mythological figure for the purpose of fighting other Servants in a War to acquire the holy grail, which grants wishes. The holy grail is "filled" when 6 servants have been killed. Each servant falls under a specialized class (Saber, Archer, Lancer, Rider, Caster, Assassin, Beserker) and are referred to by the name of their class. For example, the series protagonist Emiya Shirou summons Saber, a gender-flipped King Arthur, to protect him and fight other masters for the grail. The universe and magic rules are ridiculously complicated and are often broken, but that's the gist of the plot.
What servant would Chris summon? How would he fare in the War? Would he use his servant for nefarious purposes?