- Joined
- Mar 26, 2014
As some of you oldfags may remember, one of the worst disco spergs of all time was @Fuzzy Wuzzy a second life obsessed furry A-Log of Vietnamese descent who would consistently sperg about how Chris would not survive in Vietnam for a variety of reasons. Here are some quotes
And here he is bragging about sperging to Chris on Instant Messenger: https://kiwifarms.net/threads/faceb...-isnt-the-only-zombie.3752/page-9#post-236745
Phew! What a doozy! I decided to take things into my hands (even though he was banned 3 years ago for some reason) and scope out Vietnam myself. I will add with a caveat that I'm richer than Chris because I actually have a job and I'm not a fat lazy sack of shit. Here is my comprehensive analysis about whether Chris would survive in Vietnam.
TUGBOAT: As @Fuzzy Wuzzy said, Vietnam is kind of an ass-backward country. My tour guide told me Bath Salts had just emerged as a problem there when it's been fueling Florida Man for years in the US. They also don't recognize autism as a disease, and if they had an autistic kid they'd probably just lock him in the basement because they think he's possessed by demons. Vietnam doesn't have a disability system so he would not be able to receive a tugboat. On the other hand, Chris would have no problem finding employment being an English teacher because he's white or he could just collect his tugboat from America while living there. I'm not an expert on disability payments but I don't think you have to reside in the state permanently to receive benefits. ADF bounces from Portland to Oakland all the time and collects a tugboat from one of those states. VERDICT: MIXED.
SOCIETY: Fuzzy Wuzzy talks about how dey hate the damn dirty homos in Vietnam, but I didn't see any of that. There are no laws forbidding homosexuality like in other Southeast Asian countries and people tend to mind their own business. Also, if Chris lived in South Vietnam, they'd fucking love him because they're still butthurt about losing the war and love America. English is mandatory in schools and most residents could communicate with Chris. This is a huge plus for Chris, because as @garbageraider revealed to us when he stole Chris' Spanish homework that Chris isn't exactly skilled in learning languages. Much like Thailand, there are lots of Ladyboys who sing at bars and blow fire and do other weird tranny shit to make money so he could hang out with them at least. VERDICT: PROBABLY
COST OF LIVING: This is where Chris would thrive. Vietnam is fucking cheap. I bought a liter of Fiji water for like $3. I stayed in a four star hotel that heads of state stay in for $90 a night. He could get a variety of designer clothing for like $10 a pop because I think they just buy it directly from the factories or it's counterfeit. He could get his fast food for cheap. My friend bought a Hermes bag there and told me that she took it into the store in the US and they said it was authentic. The only thing I'm worried about is housing. Foreigners can't own property so they have to rent and Chris, being poor at managing money, may forget to save enough money to pay rent. VERDICT: YES
CREATURE COMFORTS: While in Saigon, I observed a Popeyes (WE DONT EVEN HAVE THIS IN CHINA), KFC, McDonalds, Burger King, and a Carl's Jr (known as Hardees on the east coast). So Chris would have all of his favorite fast food franchises, but he would have to do without Golden Corral. I think the lack of Golden Corral is a reason why Chris would live longer. If he wants all-u-can eat he could go to a Teppanyaki or something. VERDICT: YES
FINAL ANALYSIS: If Chris were to flee America and the DAMN DIRTY HATING TROLLS and head to Vietnam while still collecting his tugboat, he would live a more comfortable life there than in 14BLC due to the lower cost of living.
If Chris were BORN in Vietnam, like in some hypothetical scenario where Bob served in the Vietnam war instead of Korea and knocked up a hooker that sired an autistic fuckwit, it gets a little trickier but sans tugboat I think Chris would be more motivated to seek work and at the very least be some ladyboy singer "Christine and the Hedgehog Ladyboys" has a nice ring to it.
Please let me know if you have any questions or you think I missed something.
I'm Vietnamese. Good luck to him living under a semi-communist government. A lot of the stuff he owns would generally be considered expensive in Vietnam. And we have black markets for Goodwill stores. Also, drinks with ice in them are dangerous in Vietnam because our water system is unsanitary compared to America and they must be boiled before being served or made into ice. Not only would hebut also get sick easily. Don't forget occasional blackouts meaning his vidya experience would be ruined and so will his Internet.
I'm lucky to even live in Texas which is a part of the US. People here don't take too kindly to people who mooch off the welfare system and getting on thehere tends to be difficult unless you're a Mexican immigrant from a poor family. Not to mention they don't hand out disabled driver licenses to autistic people meaning Chris can't park in handicapped lots here.
And here he is bragging about sperging to Chris on Instant Messenger: https://kiwifarms.net/threads/faceb...-isnt-the-only-zombie.3752/page-9#post-236745
Phew! What a doozy! I decided to take things into my hands (even though he was banned 3 years ago for some reason) and scope out Vietnam myself. I will add with a caveat that I'm richer than Chris because I actually have a job and I'm not a fat lazy sack of shit. Here is my comprehensive analysis about whether Chris would survive in Vietnam.
TUGBOAT: As @Fuzzy Wuzzy said, Vietnam is kind of an ass-backward country. My tour guide told me Bath Salts had just emerged as a problem there when it's been fueling Florida Man for years in the US. They also don't recognize autism as a disease, and if they had an autistic kid they'd probably just lock him in the basement because they think he's possessed by demons. Vietnam doesn't have a disability system so he would not be able to receive a tugboat. On the other hand, Chris would have no problem finding employment being an English teacher because he's white or he could just collect his tugboat from America while living there. I'm not an expert on disability payments but I don't think you have to reside in the state permanently to receive benefits. ADF bounces from Portland to Oakland all the time and collects a tugboat from one of those states. VERDICT: MIXED.
SOCIETY: Fuzzy Wuzzy talks about how dey hate the damn dirty homos in Vietnam, but I didn't see any of that. There are no laws forbidding homosexuality like in other Southeast Asian countries and people tend to mind their own business. Also, if Chris lived in South Vietnam, they'd fucking love him because they're still butthurt about losing the war and love America. English is mandatory in schools and most residents could communicate with Chris. This is a huge plus for Chris, because as @garbageraider revealed to us when he stole Chris' Spanish homework that Chris isn't exactly skilled in learning languages. Much like Thailand, there are lots of Ladyboys who sing at bars and blow fire and do other weird tranny shit to make money so he could hang out with them at least. VERDICT: PROBABLY
COST OF LIVING: This is where Chris would thrive. Vietnam is fucking cheap. I bought a liter of Fiji water for like $3. I stayed in a four star hotel that heads of state stay in for $90 a night. He could get a variety of designer clothing for like $10 a pop because I think they just buy it directly from the factories or it's counterfeit. He could get his fast food for cheap. My friend bought a Hermes bag there and told me that she took it into the store in the US and they said it was authentic. The only thing I'm worried about is housing. Foreigners can't own property so they have to rent and Chris, being poor at managing money, may forget to save enough money to pay rent. VERDICT: YES
CREATURE COMFORTS: While in Saigon, I observed a Popeyes (WE DONT EVEN HAVE THIS IN CHINA), KFC, McDonalds, Burger King, and a Carl's Jr (known as Hardees on the east coast). So Chris would have all of his favorite fast food franchises, but he would have to do without Golden Corral. I think the lack of Golden Corral is a reason why Chris would live longer. If he wants all-u-can eat he could go to a Teppanyaki or something. VERDICT: YES
FINAL ANALYSIS: If Chris were to flee America and the DAMN DIRTY HATING TROLLS and head to Vietnam while still collecting his tugboat, he would live a more comfortable life there than in 14BLC due to the lower cost of living.
If Chris were BORN in Vietnam, like in some hypothetical scenario where Bob served in the Vietnam war instead of Korea and knocked up a hooker that sired an autistic fuckwit, it gets a little trickier but sans tugboat I think Chris would be more motivated to seek work and at the very least be some ladyboy singer "Christine and the Hedgehog Ladyboys" has a nice ring to it.
Please let me know if you have any questions or you think I missed something.
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all of my kek.