"Where Have All the Good Men Gone?" - A married person looks at the current crisis of undateable men

Article/Archive

Women have been talking about the lack of good men on the market for about 20 years or so. It’s been the source of countless articles — college-educated men with jobs are harder to find than before. Heck, even blue-collar guys are being snapped up by women who outearn them.

Unfortunately, these articles only tell half the story. They’re looking at marriage from an economic perspective. And you know what? It’s true that most women want to have a man to financially contribute to their family since women will do the majority of the emotional labor at home.

Even so, the shortage of men in the dating world isn’t just an economic issue. Truth be told, the current economy has a lot of women rethinking their need to have a provider in the home. More and more frequently, women are open to being the breadwinner.

So, what’s the deal? Why are women struggling so hard to find a spouse? Economics aside, there are a couple of other reasons why women can’t find good men.

First off, there are some men who are choosing to drop out of the dating scene.​


Whether it’s because they were badly burnt and can’t risk it again, or they just got tired of trying doesn’t matter. A lot of men feel like there is nothing of value in dating or marrying anymore. It’s true.

To a point, I get it.

A lot of women treat men like shit. There’s also this weird current trend where being tall is basically the bare minimum for a large percentage of girls. (I don’t get this. I married someone shorter than me and get flak for it, but I like short men.) All things said, it’s easy to get disheartened with the scene.

Honestly, if a man says he doesn’t want to marry, that’s fine. He shouldn’t be forced to nor should women try to convince him. Personally, I think it’s empowering for men who have been burned to say, “Maybe I should stay single.”

I’m all for men going their own way, provided that they just stop trolling us online. It is healthier for guys to realize that they are not in a good state of mind for dating than it is to continue to try while they build toxic dynamics.

A lot of men who are economically ready for a family are also not emotionally ready.​


I’ll be honest. There’s something very, very wrong about a very sizable percentage of single men. While some single men are diamonds in the rough who just need the right girl, a lot of them are very…hateful.

Most women have received hate mail, harassment, and threats from men like these in their dating profile inboxes. They’ve also witnessed these guys pick apart their appearance, neg them, and abuse them.

This is not attractive. And it’s increasingly common from what I hear. Women talk, and that often means that women end up backing away from guys as a whole. But, that’s another issue.

What I’m saying is that men who treat women like shit and have zero self-awareness are not dateable. Many of these guys also don’t realize that a six-figure salary doesn’t guarantee you sex.

And sadly, there are more and more of them each day.

Of course, a lot of men who would have been married are also openly pursuing other men.​


In the past, not being a married man carried a MASSIVE stigma. The only stigma that was worse was being gay, bisexual, or trans as a man. In the 1960s, this is the type of stuff that would get you beaten and totally ostracized.

Hell, it still is, in many circles.

Things have still changed in much of the country. Nowadays, men don’t have to marry women just to keep up the look of a straight man. They can be openly gay. They also can marry their lovers.

While this does mean less eligible bachelors for women, this is actually a great thing. We should all have the right to date and marry who we are attracted to, regardless of gender.

The issue of male radicalization also has a serious impact on women’s standards.​


Incels. Nice Guys (TM). Misogynists. Online trolls. The list of men who hate women and who terrorize them goes on and on. And sadly, it’s all part of a bigger movement that’s radicalizing men to hate women.

Women are increasingly worried about men posing a life-threatening, life-ruining danger to them. So, what can they do? They have to protect themselves. So, they do one of three things:

  1. They drop out of the dating scene, deciding that it’s not worth the risk. It’s better to be alone than with the wrong man, and women know they’ll be blamed for “choosing poorly” if they end up abused.
  2. They vet men by pushing standards that are higher than what they were in the past and always keep a way to break up with them available. This means they may ask for standards that have nothing to do with compatibility.
  3. They choose to have cheap sex with someone and avoid relationships at all costs. They may even use a one-night-stand to get the sperm they need to have a baby.
Why am I bringing this up? Well, it’s simple. The higher dating standards become for men, the fewer men will qualify. This pushes guys who would be fine in another time out of the dating ring as a preventative measure.

Let’s look at the 6-foot standard that so many women want. It’s a perfect example of what I mean. This height thing is a symptom of what happens when women notice how many short guys have a chip on their shoulder about them being short.

A lot of short men insult women who won’t go out with them. If women have men berate them for not dating short men, they’re not going to go, “Maybe I should give the guy who just had a mantrum a chance.”

That’s not how women (or anyone logical) would work. No, they’re going to go, “I’ll opt for the tall dude because he’s not going to verbally abuse me for not dating someone shorter.”

Is this fair? Kinda, but it also sucks. A lot of great men I’ve met who would be amazing partners for the right girl are getting overlooked because of it. But once again, I understand. It’s an act of self-preservation these days.

So, what can be done?​


It all comes down to this: women have standards and they’re not willing to budge. Men have the right to determine what they want to do with that knowledge.

Dating is discriminatory by nature. Relationships of any sort are not a given. If men can’t measure up, it’s not up to women to act as charity cases or rehab centers. Men cannot force women to date them or marry them.

This means what men do is on them and will primarily be about how they react to the dating scene today. They can either drop out of the dating scene, work on their mental health, or do something to make themselves more attractive.

So, I suppose it’s time for them to decide what they want to do. Is the juice worth the squeeze? Are they willing to improve themselves?

Only time will tell.
 
The article quite literally ends with that.

"There aren't enough men we find attractive. Fix this, men!" :story:

Reality's going to come crashing like a truckload of bricks in about five to ten years if this trend continues, that nagging men to get into the dating scene who clearly aren't interested isn't going to change anything. The tl;dr of this article, like all others similar to it, is "we need a larger pool of men to select from and it's your job as men to fix that".
Hasnt japan already had this happening for 20 years?
 
You know a person's out of their mind when they think present day society is liberated and free while also having discrimination of ye olden days, of which didn't really exist to the degree they think it is.
Maybe if you want a strong provider, you should try being worth it instead of a delusional nutcase.

oh wait, the provider also needs to be super attractive
nevermind, you're hopeless
Hasnt japan already had this happening for 20 years?
most japanese men's first sexual experiences are with their mothers
i was not looking up porn when i learned that

They are beyond fucked.
 
...I--i mean, yeah, they're grabbing those breasts as their mothers nurse them. But that isn't a sexual experience.
Yeah, uh, I'm not sure how to explain it myself.

Story is your typical Japanese husband is extremely overworked, stressed the fuck out, and tired. This leads to abuse and/or neglect of the wife. And you know how some beaten housewives take comfort in their children? It takes a turn for the worse.
 

A lot of men who are economically ready for a family are also not emotionally ready.​

Of course, a lot of men who would have been married are also openly pursuing other men.​

The issue of male radicalization also has a serious impact on women’s standards.​

Two parts "it's their fault for not being good enough for m'lady", one part "all men are gay anyway". This might be the worst take I've ever seen.
 
It’s one thing to not want to date someone shorter than you, it’s another to be 5”4 and shit on the 5”9 guy because he’s not 6”. He’s taller than you either way, the three inches are kind of arbitrary if you want someone “tall” or “taller than you”.
Or even more hilarious she's 5'0" and she wants a guy over 6' tall. Why would he want to date a dwarf?
 
She could've organized her article this way

Why am I bringing this up? Well, it’s simple. The higher dating standards become for men, the fewer men will qualify. This pushes guys who would be fine in another time out of the dating ring as a preventative measure.

It all comes down to this: women have standards and they’re not willing to budge. Men have the right to determine what they want to do with that knowledge.


Some guys are always going to be at the bottom of that standard, and guess whats happens

Incels. Nice Guys (TM). Misogynists. Online trolls. The list of men who hate women and who terrorize them goes on and on. And sadly, it’s all part of a bigger movement that’s radicalizing men to hate women.
 
Yeah, uh, I'm not sure how to explain it myself.

Story is your typical Japanese husband is extremely overworked, stressed the fuck out, and tired. This leads to abuse and/or neglect of the wife. And you know how some beaten housewives take comfort in their children? It takes a turn for the worse.
Source? I've heard of this before, but it was dismissed as being looked down upon and fairly rare (though not unheard of). From what I heard it was mothers offering themselves to their sons as a reward for academic success.
 
Yeah, uh, I'm not sure how to explain it myself.

Story is your typical Japanese husband is extremely overworked, stressed the fuck out, and tired. This leads to abuse and/or neglect of the wife. And you know how some beaten housewives take comfort in their children? It takes a turn for the worse.
....this has to be a meme
 
Source? I've heard of this before, but it was dismissed as being looked down upon and fairly rare (though not unheard of). From what I heard it was mothers offering themselves to their sons as a reward for academic success.
I forgot where, but one of the first things that pops up on google is something about Japanese mom and son incest clubs...which, uh, is another kind of fuckery I really didn't want today.
....this has to be a meme
god, i hope it is
then again, i know of no other country that relishes in so much incest porn
 
Women have been talking about the lack of good men
Nothing new under the sun.

They’re looking at marriage from an economic perspective. And you know what? It’s true that most women want to have a man to financially contribute to their family since women will do the majority of the emotional labor at home.
I guess nobodies buying the "women do the majority of domestic labor" line anymore.

Truth be told, the current economy has a lot of women rethinking their need to have a provider in the home.
Wait, women think this is the economy they can forgo another income?

More and more frequently, women are open to being the breadwinner.
Open to or have no choice?

So, what’s the deal? Why are women struggling so hard to find a spouse?
Cause their asking price is too high for what their selling.

First off, there are some men who are choosing to drop out of the dating scene.
And what decent person can blame them!

A lot of women treat men like shit.
Good start.

I’m all for men going their own way, provided that they just stop trolling us online.
And there's the rub. "Its okay if you disengage from women, so long as you shut up and sit in the corner."

It is healthier for guys to realize that they are not in a good state of mind for dating than it is to continue to try while they build toxic dynamics.
Oh look, more men are the issue in the dating game, not women.

A lot of men who are economically ready for a family are also not emotionally ready.
Nobody is ready to be a parent. Literally no one.

I’ll be honest. There’s something very, very wrong about a very sizable percentage of single men. While some single men are diamonds in the rough who just need the right girl, a lot of them are very…hateful.
Women can't find men they like? Men are clearly at fault.

Most women have received hate mail, harassment, and threats from men like these in their dating profile inboxes. They’ve also witnessed these guys pick apart their appearance, neg them, and abuse them.
Poor women, receiving the exact same abuse they dish out.

This is not attractive. And it’s increasingly common from what I hear.
Men aren't going to simply take shit if they don't have to.

Women talk, and that often means that women end up backing away from guys as a whole. But, that’s another issue.
And this is a problem how? The one good thing about homosexuality is it allows us straights to having a dumping ground for shit people. Especially when those shit people are women.

What I’m saying is that men who treat women like shit and have zero self-awareness are not dateable.
Obviously.

Many of these guys also don’t realize that a six-figure salary doesn’t guarantee you sex.
It does. What it doesn't guarantee is a worth while relationship.

Of course, a lot of men who would have been married are also openly pursuing other men.
And? Why do you want someone with an obvious mental illness.

In the past, not being a married man carried a MASSIVE stigma. The only stigma that was worse was being gay, bisexual, or trans as a man. In the 1960s, this is the type of stuff that would get you beaten and totally ostracized.
Healthy societies, like organisms, tend to be quick to correct and counter unhealthy things.

While this does mean less eligible bachelors for women, this is actually a great thing. We should all have the right to date and marry who we are attracted to, regardless of gender.
All that bitching just to throw out the party line...

The issue of male radicalization also has a serious impact on women’s standards.
"You complaining about me hitting you is only going to make me hit you more!"

Women are increasingly worried about men posing a life-threatening, life-ruining danger to them. So, what can they do? They have to protect themselves.
You types have been saying this shit since antiquity. The whole concept of a gentleman was a man who conducted himself in a manner approved by women. Nothing has changed.

• They drop out of the dating scene, deciding that it’s not worth the risk. It’s better to be alone than with the wrong man,
Good for them. Shit women need not apply and all that.

and women know they’ll be blamed for “choosing poorly” if they end up abused.
Choose a bad boy, get blamed for it.

• They vet men by pushing standards that are higher than what they were in the past and always keep a way to break up with them available. This means they may ask for standards that have nothing to do with compatibility.
So in other words, their self sabotaging idiots.

They may even use a one-night-stand to get the sperm they need to have a baby.
And women wonder why men are increasingly hostile to them. This is like dropping an atomic bomb because the other side shot you with a pop gun.

Why am I bringing this up? Well, it’s simple. The higher dating standards become for men, the fewer men will qualify. This pushes guys who would be fine in another time out of the dating ring as a preventative measure.
Blaming men for women's shit behavior. A tale as old as time.

Let’s look at the 6-foot standard that so many women want. It’s a perfect example of what I mean. This height thing is a symptom of what happens when women notice how many short guys have a chip on their shoulder about them being short.
Most guys don't have a chip on their shoulders about being this or that tall. Women are the ones who think height is a big deal.

A lot of short men insult women who won’t go out with them.
And why shouldn't they? Especially when those women go on and on about how unfair and shallow beauty standards are.

If women have men berate them for not dating short men, they’re not going to go, “Maybe I should give the guy who just had a mantrum a chance.”
"Mantrum" lol.

No, they’re going to go, “I’ll opt for the tall dude because he’s not going to verbally abuse me for not dating someone shorter.”
Why the fuck would a "short" guy berate his girlfriend for not dating "short" guys?

It’s an act of self-preservation these days.
The lies women tell themselves.

It all comes down to this: women have standards and they’re not willing to budge.
And their free to be single or gay or whatever else they desire.

Dating is discriminatory by nature. Relationships of any sort are not a given. If men can’t measure up, it’s not up to women to act as charity cases or rehab centers. Men cannot force women to date them or marry them.
And vice versa.

This means what men do is on them and will primarily be about how they react to the dating scene today. They can either drop out of the dating scene, work on their mental health, or do something to make themselves more attractive.
Its always what men can do. Never what women can.

So, I suppose it’s time for them to decide what they want to do. Is the juice worth the squeeze? Are they willing to improve themselves? Only time will tell.
"I can't get a man I want! Men do better!"
 

The issue of male radicalization also has a serious impact on women’s standards.​

As someone who's only real standard anymore is "Be at least a five, and not show signs BPD;" it's shocking how many can't even manage that. It could be my problem that I'm looking mainly at girls 10 years younger than me; but that's because everyone in my "appropriate age range" expects me to make six-figures, have my own car, have my own house, and be ready to put her and her kids first... while she has no interest in having more kids. So I have to bring my own success, that I built on my own, to someone else; and the only thing they have to offer is some used up coochie. I'm no DSP with a Bachelor's in Business, but even I can tell that's a bad fucking deal.

But instead of thinking "Hmm, maybe I should lose weight," or not caking on the makeup, or God forbid lay off the fucking filters so we can see what your face normally looks like; it's the guy's fault for not understanding how great and fierce ey-eff she is. Because even though she has stretch marks, pock marks, and has had 50 miles of dick ran through her; they expect people to pay full-price like they just turned 18; and the guys who don't want to... they're a massive fucking problem. Males get radicalized because of female behavior, normal females would also adjust to male behavior, adjusting/adaptation shows intelligence and is generally a decent way to stay alive and/or pass on your genes.

I have a lot more to say, but I'd just be rehashing shit plenty of others have already said. Society is failing both sexes in a myriad of ways; and it's egregious when they'll celebrate "More women in colleges and graduating ever!" while lambasting men for not picking up the slack of getting a better degree and job to make those women happy. They accepted the lies and chose careers, be happy with that and your house full of cats. Because we know women don't marry down as often as men do, they want to marry up; one might say they're pricing themselves out of the dating market, but that'd be acknowledging part of the problem is on them... and if there's one thing the modern woman hates, it's being responsible for her own actions.

  1. They choose to have cheap sex with someone and avoid relationships at all costs. They may even use a one-night-stand to get the sperm they need to have a baby.
But I will address this as one last thing. Family Court Services will hold a gun to the dude's head and either garnish his wages or risk being thrown in jail for failing to pay money for your child. Even the children of one-night stands, perforated condoms, condoms fished out of the trash can, and any other semen demon method they concoct. They can take the baby to the courts, say "He's the father!" and you'll be forced to get a DNA test done and should you be found to be the father, congratulations, you're gonna now be up to 40% poorer a month because some whore pulled a fast one on you. The more diabolical states like California can hold a non-sperm donor accountable under the "best interests of the child." Even if you get a DNA test and you're not the donor, you get fingered, you can be held liable. There's also a few stories of female teachers raping male students, then filing child support charges years later and the states uphold it. The government loves single mothers and will hold a gun to anyone's head to finance their lifestyles... ... ... why would a man get radicalized when knowing they're playing with a stacked deck that has a Death Card hidden in it?
 
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This is getting dangerously close to some self-awareness. Did somebody put something in the water?
Only to lose it at the end. Must have skipped a dose.
It all comes down to this: women have standards and they’re not willing to budge. Men have the right to determine what they want to do with that knowledge.
I love that this is her ultimatum is in an article where amongst other things she's noted a height requirement is one of the standards some women expect men to achieve. "You know we want you taller men, do something with that knowledge!"
 
Nagging men into being taller?

It's a bold strategy, let's see if it pays off.
Height seems to vary too much to reliably breed out shortness, too. Or rather, as you approach a new average, people will want an even taller average until you hit the limits of human health. I've seen families with a 18 inch spread of heights for the guys, from 7' to 5'6". Genes are weird like that. The 7'0 person had average height parents and the 6'5 people have kids that are 5'11.
It's true that as certain beauty standards become more stringent in a hyper-socialized dating world, more men will simply opt out of it, but as the article laments, it means more women wind up missing their shots, too. Coincidentally, the hottest woman I've ever known is a 5'11 woman married to a 5'1 guy, and they have children.
 
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