Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Poop Shoot]

The last time he saw 280 pounds he was walking past a gym.

 

[WonderWino]

His latest posts per the brokeposting page:

Yet again he accuses everyone else of running their mouths about him when he's doing that to anyone who is the least bit aware of his history. People wouldn't be running their mouths if he wasn't doing predatory pedo shit constantly. But of course he would never stop and consider that

The delusions are strong with that one

 

[Club Sandwich]

"audience" huh? i wonder if he's giving up on the little bit of social media spotlight that he attained with interviews and freakshow interest and is going to retread older haunts like facebook livestreaming or something. he doesn't seem to really write blogs anymore other than the occasional paragraph or two on twitter.

i'm genuinely surprised we haven't seen him pop up on alternate sites like tumblr or mastodon or something just to advertise himself to new zoomer audiences.

 

[WonderWino]

"audience" huh? i wonder if he's giving up on the little bit of social media spotlight that he attained with interviews and freakshow interest and is going to retread older haunts like facebook livestreaming or something. he doesn't seem to really write blogs anymore other than the occasional paragraph or two on twitter.

i'm genuinely surprised we haven't seen him pop up on alternate sites like tumblr or mastodon or something just to advertise himself to new zoomer audiences.

Yeah it wouldn't surprise me if he's gotten pissy he isn't getting the attention he was getting for awhile when he thought he was famous after a few interviews and podcasts. Never of course realizing he was infamous not famous and only because he's a wannabe child predator who does stupid shit constantly. With those kfc meals and free shoes and all that he had coming in he thought he had it made and it was going to keep going on like that, just like he did with the bitcoin scheme to the point he was publicly boasting about wanting to go on a tropical vacation next year with the money he was going to make. Its his narcissism and entitlement getting the better of him. He always falls into this trap because he believes he's smart and important enough to be someone worth listening to and respecting he projects that on everyone else and assumes they all feel the same way so when stuff like that happens he takes it as the way its supposed to be and isn't inclined to question it or think it'll stop

At this point i'm surprised nobody has exploited this to play a legit long con on him to deliberately bait him into seriously fucking his life over, into an actual TCAP situation or sending him off to some place where he couldn't be easily helped to get out of it so he'd be fucked. I mean the LA thing came close and maybe sending him to spokane was kind of intended to do that, but if anything it saved his ass. He'd be dead by now if he stayed in olympia

 

[VoidFace]

"audience" huh? i wonder if he's giving up on the little bit of social media spotlight that he attained with interviews and freakshow interest and is going to retread older haunts like facebook livestreaming or something. he doesn't seem to really write blogs anymore other than the occasional paragraph or two on twitter.

i'm genuinely surprised we haven't seen him pop up on alternate sites like tumblr or mastodon or something just to advertise himself to new zoomer audiences.

Not a chance. Wern is a narcissist, through and through, he will never give up even a small amount of attention. If anything he will try to escalate his content to get back to getting the paltry-but-more attention he is used to having.

Maybe he will start using TikTok or some other app he thinks appeals to little girls women between the ages of 18-24.

 

[WonderWino]

Not a chance. Wern is a narcissist, through and through, he will never give up even a small amount of attention. If anything he will try to escalate his content to get back to getting the paltry-but-more attention he is used to having.

Maybe he will start using TikTok or some other app he thinks appeals to little girls women between the ages of 18-24.

I'm a bit surprised he hasn't started a tiktok account already, especially considering how full of idiot zoomers it is and his habit of making bizarre shorts like those schizo song covers

I'm also surprised his search for a job he thinks he has to barely do anything to get paid doing hasn't led him to join an mlm scam, try to shill sales via videos and trying to recruit other hobos to work below him. He would love having other hobos under him as their boss, especially if they were alot younger than him. He'd have the power and self importance he feels entitled to and would take it as finally being taken seriously as a mature adult greybeard. I can just see him having a few idiots talked into becoming his 'employees' selling under him and bragging to zoomer baes that he is running a business with his own employees like plenty of idiot housewives try to pull. I can also see lucas getting the not so bright idea that he can get said underlings to do all the sales he's responsible for, tossing up a few bucks to the idiot above him and thinking he has it made with a job he doesn't have to do a thing to make money at, like he's running some kind of hobo mafia racket

Ah yes, 'doctor' wern slinging mlm essential oils and vitamin pills guaranteed to elongate your telomeres and give your babies strong DNA and extra fecund juicy ova like a 19th century snake oil salesman. Or maybe steak knives. No way he would last long doing mail order steaks, he'd find a way to eat them himself. He's exactly the kind of idiot mlm contract prey on and would get fucked over big time getting involved in that

Either that, or lucas getting into organizing tupperware parties in the hope of meeting zoomer baes. Just imagine lucas putting out the word he's having a tupperware party at his mallon place fartbox thinking he's going to lure in all the zoomers and in the end a few obese middle aged housewives show up with their husbands. Lucas would be furious. and of course he'd wrangle jamie into being his 'employee' (remember ladies: order a 15 pack set of tupperware and he'll throw in jamies batman shirt for free! order 2 and get a free schizo board game!)

 

[Overwritten Tapes]

@WonderWino it won't let me quote your last post.

He'd lose half the Tupperware, use some for his microwaving, trade the rest for something stupid and get himself fired.

 

[WonderWino]

@WonderWino it won't let me quote your last post.

He'd lose half the Tupperware, use some for his microwaving, trade the rest for something stupid and get himself fired.

True to wern form he would trade the tupperware for a large amount of food then realize he can't eat it all and has nothing to store it in cause he has no more tupperware and then throw a bunch of it out

 

[Overwritten Tapes]

True to wern form he would trade the tupperware for a large amount of food then realize he can't eat it all and has nothing to store it in cause he has no more tupperware and then throw a bunch of it out

*give it away by putting it outside the community College he is getting his doctorate from.

 

[Club Sandwich]

trade the tupperware for a large amount of food

the description of trading a DS and some games (or was it a switch?) for a cauldron pot of pasta (i think mac and cheese)? is pretty funny still - some greasy ogre in stained clothing clutching a zamak walmart stovetop soup pot filled with kraft blue box mac and cheese and hungrily digging into it with a plastic spoon or something - guzzling it down with an open mouth and defensively mad dogging anyone that looks his way.

just wern things™

 

[WonderWino]

the description of trading a DS and some games (or was it a switch?) for a cauldron pot of pasta (i think mac and cheese)? is pretty funny still - some greasy ogre in stained clothing clutching a zamak walmart stovetop soup pot filled with kraft blue box mac and cheese and hungrily digging into it with a plastic spoon or something - guzzling it down with an open mouth and defensively mad dogging anyone that looks his way.

just wern things™

It was like lucas experienced an irl version of this, just replace the peanut with KD a pot of pasta and the $20 with a DS....and have lucas never make the connection that he could have sold the DS for enough money to buy 20x or more pasta than he got in the trade

If lucas ever somehow lived up to his dream of becoming president i'm convinced he'd try to sell several republican states to china in exchange for a bunch of clinkerdaggers gift certificates and lay shirtless on the white house lawn with a pan of prime rib on his stomach stuffing himself like a thanksgiving turkey while surrounded by horrified journos recording every minute of it, unaware the FBI was about to arrest him for treason

 

[Poop Shoot]

‘I lost 200 lbs’ doesn’t mean shit when you keep gaining it back you fat fuck.

And 100% the only reason he hasn’t gotten suckered into an MLM is because he doesn’t have the money to buy whatever starter kit they’re pushing.

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

At this point i'm surprised nobody has exploited this to play a legit long con on him to deliberately bait him into seriously fucking his life over, into an actual TCAP situation or sending him off to some place where he couldn't be easily helped to get out of it so he'd be fucked. I mean the LA thing came close and maybe sending him to spokane was kind of intended to do that, but if anything it saved his ass. He'd be dead by now if he stayed in olympia

Can Lucas even walk anywhere now? Look how rough he is in recent videos, he's basically dead.

 

[VoidFace]

Every video brings us closer to classic, screaming at the world, sperging out Wern. This latest one includes a lot of the classics: terrible slam poetry, narcissism, complete lack of self-awareness, mentioning he wants to date 18 year olds, inexplicable noises added for what I assume is supposed to be emotional or comedic effect…

 

[WonderWino]

Every video brings us closer to classic, screaming at the world, sperging out Wern. This latest one includes a lot of the classics: terrible slam poetry, narcissism, complete lack of self-awareness, mentioning he wants to date 18 year olds, inexplicable noises added for what I assume is supposed to be emotional or comedic effect…

He comes off sounding like otis during his psycho rants at those kidnapped high school cheerleaders in house of 1000 corpses.... which is that much more disturbing considering lucas's teen obsession

 

[Overwritten Tapes]

Every video brings us closer to classic, screaming at the world, sperging out Wern. This latest one includes a lot of the classics: terrible slam poetry, narcissism, complete lack of self-awareness, mentioning he wants to date 18 year olds, inexplicable noises added for what I assume is supposed to be emotional or comedic effect…

Everything he does sucks. It's either fucking annoying or hilarious. Anyone remember the filter he used in a video where it looked he was talking through the cracks of a restroom toilet stall? Hahahahaha

 

[A Big Bumbling Black Man]

@WonderWino it won't let me quote your last post.

I figured this one out: just click-and-drag highlight a part you want to quote and then click on one of the buttons that appears underneath, like this

On topic, it would be a great idea if one of these idiot larpers in his comments would suggest he open up a Tiktok, that might spark some actual content.
It's obnoxious enough that these gaslighters blow smoke up his ass for the lulz, they also do it in the most lame unproductive ways possible.

 

[Da Dude123]

@WonderWino it won't let me quote your last post.

He'd lose half the Tupperware, use some for his microwaving, trade the rest for something stupid and get himself fired.

Yeah, Lucas would never be able to get into an MLM, because he has no money, all of those MLMs have a start up fee and initial costs. If not for that, the cow would 100 percent fall for it. The initial costs are generally how those pyramid schemes make money, since most people who get into those barely sell anything.

How funny would that be? Lucas talking about "being his own boss" and saying "Do you have a dream? I know I do!" An MLM arc would be hilarious. And then when he fails him chucking the products into the woods or throwing them out the fart box window.

 

[AnOminous]

The initial costs are generally how those pyramid schemes make money, since most people who get into those barely sell anything.

The people who make the actual money are the ones selling the suckers the startup packages. That said I have known at least one person who got suckered into this kind of shit while literally living in a van.

 

[WonderWino]

Yeah, Lucas would never be able to get into an MLM, because he has no money, all of those MLMs have a start up fee and initial costs. If not for that, the cow would 100 percent fall for it. The initial costs are generally how those pyramid schemes make money, since most people who get into those barely sell anything.

How funny would that be? Lucas taking about "being his own boss" and saying "Do you have a dream? I know I do!" An MLM arc would be hilarious. And then when he fails him chucking the products into the woods or throwing them out the fart box window.

I wouldn't be surprised if when he realized nobody was buying his products he started trading them to other hobos for food and drugs, only to get fucked by the mlm company for it

I wouldn't put him past him to try to crowdfund the entry costs to an mlm. it would give him a reason to solicit money from people. Lucas being lucas he would try to get more than he needed for the entry fees so he could stuff himself with food. The irony is its one of those he should be careful what he wishes for cause there likely are people who would give him the money knowing he's getting himself into a situation he couldn't get out of and would end up with the mlm constantly up his ass over it in the end