r/polyamory

[DumbDude43]

Why are virtually all 'polyamorous' relationships one man multiple women? Isn't that just polygamy & reinventing the wheel?

is it?
my impression from the subreddit is that both "1 chad with a harem of groupies" and "1 slut orbited by multiple cucks" happen quite a lot
plus there's a lot of weird genderspecials and trannies in the mix that further complicate things

 

[supremeautismo]

is it?
my impression from the subreddit is that both "1 chad with a harem of groupies" and "1 slut orbited by multiple cucks" happen quite a lot
plus there's a lot of weird genderspecials and trannies in the mix that further complicate things

The other missed horrific combination is troon harems.

> Troons are poor and degenerate
> Live in an art/tech house
> All fuck each other
> Be abusive and end up outing each other online
> Grift from handmaidens who make more because they aren’t degenerate troons
> ???
> Profit

 

[Oat Milk Matcha Latte]

I've seen zero stable examples in this thread or in the middle east. The women are always mentally unstable and miserable, while the man ocassionally sows more chaos in between bingeing tv.

The effects on part of the male population are arguably worse, as it leads to the 'lost boys' phenomenon where a chunk of the male population is entirely unable to secure a partner as gender ratio in humans is approximately 1:1.

The other missed horrific combination is troon harems.

This arrangement seems to be horrifyingly common, at least with MTFs (who are nearly always completely sexually deranged).
It's a sight to behold: a house full of former-incels now larping as women all banging eachother. Truly vile, but apparently a rather common end stage in the incel-to-troon pipeline.

 

[InspectorJappOfficial]

is it?
my impression from the subreddit is that both "1 chad with a harem of groupies" and "1 slut orbited by multiple cucks" happen quite a lot
plus there's a lot of weird genderspecials and trannies in the mix that further complicate things

Yeah, one of the genuinely nice things about browsing this thread is the number of men who come in here angrily assuming that it's just going to be a bunch of SELFISH WOMEN manipulating CONFUSED SEX-STARVED MEN, and the number of women who come in here angrily assuming that it's just going to be a bunch of ABUSIVE MEN manipulating POOR NAIVE WOMEN, and both being gently surprised by how many instances of the other type they find. With all the ever-increasing amounts of polarization between the sexes going on, it's nice to see a place where people find evidence that their problems in dating, etc., are remarkably similar with those of the opposite sex, and we've all got to deal with the real problem of malignantly awful people.

 

[Gingervitis]

The effects on part of the male population are arguably worse, as it leads to the 'lost boys' phenomenon where a chunk of the male population is entirely unable to secure a partner as gender ratio in humans is approximately 1:1.

That’s already a bad problem here in the states right now with us. I can’t imagine how bad it is in the middle east (and even without polygamy, I hear it’s a problem in South Korea too)

 

[Dafuqisdis?]

The effects on part of the male population are arguably worse, as it leads to the 'lost boys' phenomenon where a chunk of the male population is entirely unable to secure a partner as gender ratio in humans is approximately 1:1.

That shit's already happening without poly. The globalization of the dating market is creating a situation where a lot of young guys can't get partners because young women are cycling through the same dudes.

Look at West Elm Caleb for an example.

 

[AMHOLIO]

With all the ever-increasing amounts of polarization between the sexes going on, it's nice to see a place where people find evidence that their problems in dating, etc., are remarkably similar with those of the opposite sex, and we've all got to deal with the real problem of malignantly awful people.

Human beings of both genders truly have a fair share of trash. If you're not dating the same sex, you don't get the same rejection or betrayal you would from your own gender rather than the opposite gender. Not counting the other usual reason women worrying about physical harm/creeps or men worrying about social life sabotage or bpd baby traps. You tend to group with people of the same sex for friends so it can be easier to find good examples of people your own gender while shying away from the opposite gender. It's nice that this thread highlights both men and women using polyamory as a way to cheat without breaking up first, or both men and women being butthurt that they opened up their relationship and their partner gets more sex than them, or that both genders string along 2 or more partners at the same time and take advantage of everyone, or both genders being crazy whores. There's also the multiple polycule relationships where multiple couples are attached of both genders and the shitshow that creates.

That’s already a bad problem here in the states right now with us. I can’t imagine how bad it is in the middle east (and even without polygamy, I hear it’s a problem in South Korea too)

Chinese males way outnumber females too after the one child policy. It's gotten so bad hey've been shipping in brides from other nearby countries. In the middle east, I wouldn't be surprised if it's how terrorist get new recruits: young frustrated man thinking he has no future gets promised riches, power, and bitches. Great for martyrdom too.

That shit's already happening without poly. The globalization of the dating market is creating a situation where a lot of young guys can't get partners because young women are cycling through the same dudes.

I'm going to sound like a dick but I am guessing that unless the male population is reduced by war, the narrower choice from women might be a built in thing. If a woman gets a partner, she has to look for someone stable if she wants to raise a child. The men fit to be good fathers or at least financially and/or mentally stable tend to get picked first. Women can be more unstable and get a man since men seem to be more desperate for pussy (the amount of men taking advantage of pooners is an example), but some end up as only baby mamas because they're unstable and the dude rightfully left a bad relationship after realizing it isn't worth it. Basically, women tend to be more choosy because they're more vulnerable when raising a child (during pregnancy and after) and survival used to depend more on having protectors and providers. Social and government nets exist in the first world and can usually keep mom and a child or 3 alive if a father dies, third world countries still suffer from lack of resources and more kids and moms being exploited/harmed if the husband dies or leaves. Women don't ALWAYS choose well, don't get me wrong, there are a lot of dumb people on the women's side too, but they are more picky for those reasons.

You're also looking at the world of shallow online dating between pretty people, and that is a drama maker with its own stupidity not always featured in normal people. Maybe it is the same for normies, IDK, I'm not searching for dates right now.

 

[Brain Problems]

I think the simplest answer is that the internet makes you stupid autistic. People spend more and more time online and are afraid to interact with each other and the types that aren't don't have these problems and you never hear about them. The poly types are a mix of over and under educated midwits that are happy to philosophize about sexuality and fluidity and have a masters in something retarded but are too afraid to pick the phone to order a pizza. Social isolation makes you think stupid things.

That's why you see so much of this stuff primarily centered around socially retarded types because I promise you they spend too much time online cooming and finding ways to justify cooming and cheating with extra steps rather than using that time to pursue a hobby that takes them outside, exercise, or stalk random people on New Zealand Agricultural sites.

 

[Frenzy of Sharks]

I think the simplest answer is that the internet makes you stupid autistic. People spend more and more time online and are afraid to interact with each other and the types that aren't don't have these problems and you never hear about them. The poly types are a mix of over and under educated midwits that are happy to philosophize about sexuality and fluidity and have a masters in something retarded but are too afraid to pick the phone to order a pizza. Social isolation makes you think stupid things.

That's why you see so much of this stuff primarily centered around socially retarded types because I promise you they spend too much time online cooming and finding ways to justify cooming and cheating with extra steps rather than using that time to pursue a hobby that takes them outside, exercise, or stalk random people on New Zealand Agricultural sites.

To be fair here, even Kiwi Farms has its own echo chambers. The most notable of this is people's views on Trump here.

You have people here on the farms that think Trump is the best thing to ever happen to the world since Cyrus the Great and you have people here that think Trump is a lolcow like any other but go spergy by displaying their TDS and I often see Kiwis here butt heads over the topic of Trump that the two sides often look like an echo chamber (what I see here is either Kiwis that worship the ground Trump walks on to the point of irrationality or seeing Kiwis display their Trump Derangement Syndrome to the point of irrationality). The lesson here is don't be terminally online, period.

Look what happened to Cringe Culture. Part of the reason why Cringe Culture died out years ago is because that also became an echo chamber where they began adopting far-right extremism (it got political) and then it collapsed from its own hubris because the Cringe Culture community at the time went skitzo and started seeing Jews, gay people, and Satanists everywhere that the Cringe Culture community became cringe itself. it's never a healthy thing to be online 24/7 for any reason and there are times you should even take breaks from talking about lolcows before you become really that terminally online by that point (otherwise you'd just become a Ween or an A-Log). As the saying goes, everything in moderation.

 

[A.P. Hill]

my impression from the subreddit is that both "1 chad with a harem of groupies" and "1 slut orbited by multiple cucks" happen quite a lot

The third type that no one wants to talk about because they're fucking gross is the cluster of trannies who rub stinkditches with each other because no one with an intact set of genitals will touch them with a 60,000 foot pole.

 

[Maori Kiwifruit Growers]

The third type that no one wants to talk about because they're fucking gross is the cluster of trannies who rub stinkditches with each other because no one with an intact set of genitals will touch them with a 60,000 foot pole.

They're always the third type. Prove me wrong.

 

[Tetra]

You have people here on the farms that think Trump is the best thing to ever happen to the world since Cyrus the Great and you have people here that think Trump is a lolcow like any other but go spergy by displaying their TDS and I often see Kiwis here butt heads over the topic of Trump that the two sides often look like an echo chamber

your example is literally the opposite of an echo chamber

 

[Hassou Tobi]

“ #1098: “Oops, just figured out I’m polyamorous, 18 months into a serious monogamous relationship with the father of my child.”

I’ve found myself in a really damn sticky situation. I’m polyamorous. I just recently told my partner, we’ve been together for 18 months this June, we’re engaged, and we have a kid together. (For anonymity, I’ll be referring to my partner as Darin and our son as Ash.) I love Darin, and I love our son, before they came along, I didn’t know that kind of love was possible. I want to grow old with them. But I’ve recently figured out I’m polyamorous, and I told Darin, and he had said, ‘If you wanna go out with other people you do realise that we’d break up, right?’ And obviously, that’s the last thing that I want. But I feel really strongly that if I don’t explore my polyamoury, I’m doing myself a disservice. I feel like some part of me is saying, ‘You have to do this, if you don’t, you’re killing yourself.’ And there’s this guy, who I’ll refer to as Fireball, who I like and who likes me, and I did our natal chart for compatibility and we’re basically made for each other, unlike me and Darin’s which was 3/4 negativity and challenge.

My question is really, I feel like I need to do something about my polyamoury, like if I don’t, I feel like my Soul is dying, but my partner isn’t cool with it, and I have no idea what to do.”

https://captainawkward.com/2018/04/12/1098-oops-just-figured-out-im-polyamorous-18-months-into-a-serious-monogamous-relationship-with-the-father-of-my-child/

You dumb slut, get it together for the sake of your husband and child. Life isn’t meant to be a never ending roller coaster ride of dopamine hits.

Something must be done about this common modern mentality of “if I don’t satisfy every single one of my base urges I’m KILLING MYSELF.”

 

[Revelator]

“ #1098: “Oops, just figured out I’m polyamorous, 18 months into a serious monogamous relationship with the father of my child.”

I’ve found myself in a really damn sticky situation. I’m polyamorous. I just recently told my partner, we’ve been together for 18 months this June, we’re engaged, and we have a kid together. (For anonymity, I’ll be referring to my partner as Darin and our son as Ash.) I love Darin, and I love our son, before they came along, I didn’t know that kind of love was possible. I want to grow old with them. But I’ve recently figured out I’m polyamorous, and I told Darin, and he had said, ‘If you wanna go out with other people you do realise that we’d break up, right?’ And obviously, that’s the last thing that I want. But I feel really strongly that if I don’t explore my polyamoury, I’m doing myself a disservice. I feel like some part of me is saying, ‘You have to do this, if you don’t, you’re killing yourself.’ And there’s this guy, who I’ll refer to as Fireball, who I like and who likes me, and I did our natal chart for compatibility and we’re basically made for each other, unlike me and Darin’s which was 3/4 negativity and challenge.

My question is really, I feel like I need to do something about my polyamoury, like if I don’t, I feel like my Soul is dying, but my partner isn’t cool with it, and I have no idea what to do.”

https://captainawkward.com/2018/04/12/1098-oops-just-figured-out-im-polyamorous-18-months-into-a-serious-monogamous-relationship-with-the-father-of-my-child/

You dumb slut, get it together for the sake of your husband and child. Life isn’t meant to be a never ending roller coaster ride of dopamine hits.

Something must be done about this common modern mentality of “if I don’t satisfy every single one of my base urges I’m KILLING MYSELF.”

Wow, a woman with everything going for her, and she wants to screw it all up for some guy she calls "Fireball." I don't know how you can say with a straight face you're doing yourself a disservice for...y'know...NOT betraying a guy who knocked you up and decided to do the honorable thing and stick around.

 

[Paper Machete]

Oh, yes, well if course if the natal charts match...

 

[DumbDude43]

and I did our natal chart for compatibility and we’re basically made for each other, unlike me and Darin’s which was 3/4 negativity and challenge.

what does this mean?

 

[AprilRains]

what does this mean?

Hoe uses astrology to excuse her desire to cheat on her boyfriend.

 

[DumbDude43]

https://old.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/1gzmnen/my_spouse_is_throwing_away_everything_weve_built/

Spoiler: text

Me: 31NB Spouse: 30NB
My spouse and I have been married for 6 years, together for 9. We own a house and have no kids. I work full-time. My spouse is disabled and unemployed, so they mainly spend their days pursuing hobbies, which is fine by me, I work hard so we can have a good life together.
Last year, they became enamored with someone they met online and coerced me into polyamory under duress, essentially saying that it would absolutely devastate them if we didn't open our relationship so they could be together. Long story short, they got catfished. It was very difficult but we held it together. They assured me -- repeatedly -- that they had gotten it out of their system and they weren't interested in pursuing polyamory again.
Like clockwork, about a year has passed and there's another new person. This time it's a mutual friend we know and hang out with in person. My spouse has developed an intense attraction to this friend and, so far, has specifically requested that they be allowed to cuddle together.
I don't think I can go through this again. I communicated this to my spouse and they gave me the same spiel about how it would be devastating to them if they can't cuddle and be intimate with their friend. I told them I was afraid of where this would lead, because it seems pretty unlikely to me that these two are just going to "cuddle" (whatever that means; I couldn't get my spouse to actually describe to me what that word means to them) once and that will be the end of it. When I said this, they agreed with me that it was unlikely this would all end if they were just allowed to cuddle once.
You may be asking yourself: what's wrong with cuddling? Or: what's your problem with polyamory in general?
My spouse has an extremely bad track record with dividing their time appropriately when we have experimented with opening the relationship for them. Some frequent examples include:

• being unavailable for days on end
• eschewing the few responsibilities they do have in the house (certain light chores)
• texting their other person while I'm trying to talk to them

It basically just feels like I stop existing to them, other than as the slave that does all the work while they fuck off and have a good time with someone else, leaving me alone. It hurts so bad.
This is already happening with this new person and we're not even technically "open" yet. I don't think I'm cut out for polyamory in the first place (I have no interest in splitting my time, I want a committed relationship with one person), and I know I can't do it the way my spouse does it.
I guess the writing is probably on the wall, I just wanted to make sure I'm not crazy.

in a rare case of a reddit W, all the comments seem to agree that this partner is a shithead and the marriage is doomed

the post exclusively refers to everybody as NB/they/them. what do you think, which one of them is the man/woman?
personally i'm not 100% sure but i lean towards the poster being a woman and the cheating scumbag being a man.

reasons for the poster being a woman:
>uses they/them genderspeak
>lets a shithead partner walk all over herself

reasons for the partner being a man:
>exhibits lazy NEET manchild behavior
>gets catfished on the internet (very male thing to do)

 

[Diana Moon Glampers]

In that story, the storyteller is a man. "I work hard so we can have a good life together" and being ok with the partner not raising kids or anything else but "hobbies" tells me the partner's a woman.

I can count on one hand the number of women who would happily say "I work hard so we can have a good life together," and every one of them has a husband who is the primary caretaker of multiple children. Men are happier to keep housewives than women are to keep househusbands. The partner has "BPD munchie" written all over "them."

Women get catfishing attempts too. Lots of super-hot ex-military profiles going around saying "hey, beautiful" to worn-out mothers and wives.

 

[Potatis Salad]

the post exclusively refers to everybody as NB/they/them. what do you think, which one of them is the man/woman?

This is my favorite game. I'm with @Diana Moon Glampers, poster is a man and partner is a woman.

1. Partner is "disabled" but seems to have no issues with mobility or going out on dates and getting laid. This along with the nonbinary/poly identity just screams that the "disability" is some munchie shit like EDS/POTS/MCAS/AuDHD.
2. Woman not interested in sex with her husband but has no problem finding her libido with another guy--very feminine arousal pattern.

[If anyone was hoping to check, OP's Reddit profile is here but everything has been deleted. However, the account is eight years old and has 544 post karma so it's clear this isn't the first time the account has been used and then purged.]