Samantha Violet Bushart and the Sammieverse - Fat, Illiterate Perpetual Pregnancy Faker and the Various Trash and Tards Surrounding Her

[cuddle striker]

yeah that high number at the start is why I wondered if there was an updated list

So uh... I'm only on page 5 of the thread for the baby spergsheet and I'm kind of getting a little too autistic with it so it might be a little while. Sorry about that...

But speaking of her "diploma", my sperging, and the blessed work of the farmers in this thread going back and digging through her old shit, I've found some thunk-provoking stuff.

Sammie starts taking about being pregnant in early February 2015. She actually turns out to be pregnant with Bently later that year. But based on birth date, Bently would have been conceived around the 27th of March.

However, on June 11, 2017, she posted a picture of herself at graduation saying she was 5 weeks pregnant with Bently at the time, so either she graduated the last week of April, or Bent was premature. Given his slightly below average size at birth, I'm voting for the latter, especially since the doctors wouldn't let her give birth a month prior, meaning he was more likely conceived around the middle of April.

Or she has no fucking clue how pregnant she was when she grajiated (although since she was Actually Pregnant the doctors would have given her a due date so then it's a matter of simple math aaaaaaaaaaaaahahaha!). Or it's a mix of all goddamn three, because from what I can figure, her high school has its commencement ceremony the third Thursday in May, so she'd have been 9 weeks pregnant at the time if Bent was born full-term, or he was a month premature.

And I am way overthinking this. I wish I found laundry as interesting as data analysis.

I don't think you should try to nail down exactitude with dates, here. just give an estimate of how long each pregnancy was, with a little wiggle room. I really am just curious about the running total and how many have overlapped.

 

[Miss Misery]

I don't think you should try to nail down exactitude with dates, here. just give an estimate of how long each pregnancy was, with a little wiggle room. I really am just curious about the running total and how many have overlapped.

Yeah, I wasn't exactly planning on it. I think I went overboard on that one because it was a confirmed pregnancy that resulted in an actual baby, albeit one with Yellow Sink Disease. Also I blame @Muscle Bra because of the graduation pic posted right in the middle of things. It's all your fault!!

I will not be doing so with any of the imaginary babbys.

 

[Rabbit Bones]

Both of her children were premature. They also didn't come out in very good shape. For a woman who's only life goal is to be a broodmare, she's remarkably bad at the whole pregnancy thing.

 

[Miss Misery]

However, on June 11, 2017, she posted a picture of herself at graduation saying she was 5 weeks pregnant with Bently at the time, so either she graduated the last week of April, or Bent was premature. Given his slightly below average size at birth, I'm voting for the latter, especially since the doctors wouldn't let her give birth a month prior, meaning he was more likely conceived around the middle of April.

I was thinking the same thing. I double checked her DOB which is 4/23/1996, meaning that in 2014 she was 18. I have a sibling that graduated HS in 2013 and her birthday falls close to Sammie's, only '95 instead of '96, so Sammie was most likely in 11th grade in 2013. She lists that as the date of graduation from her original HS, then 2014 from Wilbur D Mills. According to Sammie, she had Bently at 18 and Lucy at 19.

Sammie had Bent on December 21, 2015. When she was 19. And Lucy around November 20, 2016, when she was 20.

She's either actively trying to look trashier than she actually is to get buy-in to her Teen Mom shit or if she really WAS 5 weeks pregnant when she graduated? That means she was 19 years old, so she's lying about the year she "graduated" and hiding the fact that she's a sped. Or why not both?

Edit: I'm on page 55 so I should have this nonsense done in a couple of hours at most.

And @Tiny Clanger, you'll be relieved to know I solved the mystery of poor Remi Elizabeth. Sammie casually mentioned she had a miscarriage in the comments of an unrelated post on 9/6/17. Three days later she claimed to be pregnant again.

 

[Miss Misery]

Okay I know this is still more detailed and spergy than you wanted @cuddle striker, but once I got in there and started looking at the details, there wasn't really a good way to quantify shit in a meaningful way because her lies and dates are all over the fucking place so I just went with the dates she posted shit and what she said (and how facts and reality contradicted her claims).

Spoiler: Sammie's Baby Spergsheet

Post Date	Drama Details
2/19/2015	Going to jail boo hoo, I'm gonna have to born my babby there. (claims she's 4 weeks pregnant)
2/26/2015	Babby magically became twins!
6/23/2015	She doesn't want to eat because she so sad from being bulled but she should eat because she's pregnant.
7/15/2015	Angry at people for calling her pregnancy a fake.
8/9/2015	Went to pie, wiped and saw blood.
11/26/2015	Bently wants to come out but the doctors won't let him
12/21/2015	Bently Raymond Mendenhall born, 6lbs, 5oz, 18.5inches, 2 hours labor. (see previous post about possible conception dates)
12/23/2015	Bently born on 21st, but had to stay in hospital because he had Yellow Sink Disease
4/6/2016	Positive pregnancy test.
4/12/2016	Real ultrasound. "I'm 5 weeks so I'm 2 months"
4/17/2016	"5 weeks so I'm 2 months I'm almost 6 weeks"
4/25/2016	"I'm 7 weeks today"
9/1/2016	Had to go to hospital to get a shot to stop her contractions.
9/20/2016	Ultrasound pic (real).
10/20/2016	Water broke and she started to dilate; went to hospital, supposedly going to be induced. (real due date is 12/12/16) (=conception date 3/20/16)
11/1/2016	"Three weeks left until Lucy Jane Mendenhall is here."
11/14/2016	Going to the doctor tomorrow, hoping he will induce labor.
11/15/2016	Lucy Jane Mendenhall born.
11/20/2016	Whining about Lucy still being in hospital; "she choked on some fluids"
1/20/2017	Posts about her pregnancy cord and hormones being damaged forever.
1/24/2017	I think I'm pregnant again.
1/25/2017	Posts about spotting during pregnancy and insists she's pregnant.
1/26/2017	Posts pregnancy announcement; doesn't notice it says due in Nopevember.
1/29/2017	Oh noes I had a miscarriage! Bye baby girl
2/13/2017	I think I might be pregnant again.
2/19/2017	Doing a pregnancy test today! -posts picture of negative test-
3/20/2017	Posts another picture of an evaporation line "postitive" test.
3/23/2017	I didn't have a miscarriage after all! It's Tyler Eirhart's!
4/4/2017	Going to the doctor today!
4/5/2017	I had a miscarriage. Austin and I are going to try for another baby.
4/23/2017	"thinkin I'm pregnant again"
5/19/2017	Waahhhh why can't I get pregnant again???
5/24/2017	I think I might be pregnant again.
6/19/2017	Nonaffiliated farmers find a FB account post from May 30, 2014, from one of Sammie's troll accounts claiming she's pregnant and the mother of 5.
8/3/2017	"There's a little egg cooking in the oven!"
8/10/2017	Baby girl Remi is due April 12, 2018 (=conception 7/27/17). Says she got pregnant "when she went to the hospital in June". If so then she'd be due in March or earlier. Eric Sherrill tagged.
8/19/2017	Oops, the baby is Austin's, not Eric's. I'm almost 3 months. "Yesterday you said you were 6 weeks." I'm almost 2 months. (If she's due 4/12 then she's not even a month yet.)
9/6/2017	Casually drops the fact that she had a miscarriage in the comments. Godspeed, Remi!
9/9/2017	Claims to be pregnant again. Mom comes in and shuts her shit down.
9/29/2017	Posted to her fake Teen Mom 4 IG: Lailah Marie due May 15, 2018 (conception date 8/20/2017)
10/8/2017	Posts a boohoo about being a single pregnant mom.
10/26/2017	Going to the doctor's on the 31st to see about my fetus! (same day her real baby is having open heart surgery.)
11/17/2017	Posts an old preg selfie (Bently era?) with huge baby bump; claims she's pregnant by a black man but Austin will stand by her! Pic has WD at the beginning for no reason; Weezy Dwayne?
1/19/2018	Wahhhh I had a miscarriage. Supposedly was 5 weeks. (Conception 12/15/17.)
1/20/2018	RIP Adalynn Faith Mendenhall.
1/20/2018	Called out in miscarriage comments: 22 weeks ago (8/20/2017) you said you were 4 months pregnant (conception 4/20/17).
2/14/2018	"Today's the day: Pink or Blue?"
4/24/2018	IG of stolen baby photo with dog filter, it's lil' Weezy Dwayne Carter, he's been borned! (his official due date was 5/18/18; he finally ends up being officially "born" on 5/15/18 in Sept. 2018, which was Lailah Marie's due date.)
5/10/2018	I might not be able to have any more babbys cuz sumthins wrong with mah overeasies.
6/15/2018	Posts a pic of her 3 baby bumps, mentions Weezy Dwayne is 1 year old already. Later she will say that Weezy's birthday is 5/15/18.
6/30/2018	Wahhh I'm pregnant and Dalton Cloaca can't even see his child when I have it!
7/28/2018	Posts a pic of fat stomach, claims it's a girl and the daddy is Londra Moore.
7/29/2018	Pic of fat belly claiming Genesis Printhas Elizabeth Gatlin and her stepdaddy Austin, claims to be 1 month pregnant.
8/2/2018	Picture of fat belly, baby shower cake, other nonsense, says she's "4 weeks and a month" in the comments. Daddy named as Jay Rellz.
8/5/2018	Picture of belly, went to the doctor; "said I'm 5 almost 6 months" Daddy named as Dalton Colclasure.
8/9/2018	Stolen 3D ultrasound of Printhass posted by Dalton Cloaca.
8/17/2018	My due date is February 30, 2019! Read for filth in the comments, so she quickly edits to February 28.
8/29/2018	Baby shower scheduled for September 28th. When she's four months pregnant, according to her February 30th due date.
9/2/2018	Genesis Printhas Elizabeth Colclasure born, 7lds, 12oz, 20ins. 4 hours labor. Comments say she previously said she was due in December.
9/4/2018	Her IG says that Weezy Dwayne was born on 5/15/18 and that Printhass was born at 6 mos 27 days (= conception around Feb 4/due date in mid Nov.)
9/8/2018	Claims to be pregnant again in Dalton's comments because she's jelly that he's "married" to someone else.
9/30/2018	Posted to IG: Michael Leeson Berry, born 7/8/2012, 10lds 8oz, 19in (if kid exists she'd have been 16. but pic is fake and no 10.5lds baby would be only 19in)
9/30/2018	Posted to IG: She doubles down on Weezy Dwayne Carter. Born 5/15/18, 8lds, 12oz, 20ins. Fake pic, looks like a Kardashian spawn. (conception date 8/20/17)
10/10/2018	Claims to be having triplets: Damarcus Levy, Dahliegah Lamar, Aniyah Renee.
11/8/2018	Posts a picture of an evaporation line "positive" pregnancy test.
11/12/2018	Posts a meme about babies and mentions a babby girl named Makiyah Grant.
11/12/2018	Announces she is pregnant with twins and that she's 13 weeks and 3 days pregnant. (conception date around 8/10/18 - prior to Printhass being born)
12/7/2018	Selfie with caption: The twins are okay! Daddy is Clarnce Marlow.
1/14/2019	Posts a "fetal heartrate" with 75avg/46min/92max, which is obviously from someone's FitBit. (Normal FHR is 120-160bpm depending on gestational age.) This is for a single babby.
1/21/2019	Claims someone by the name of Jermaine Phillips is the father of her "Oreo baby".
1/22/2019	Fake ultrasound. "I will be reviewing the gender soon."
1/23/2019	Someone comments on her post from 12/7/18 asking what happened to the twins: "They're with my cousin." If you were generous they were MAYBE 5 mos/21 weeks when born. Note that fetal viability at 21 weeks is 0%, especially for twins.
1/26/2019	Claims Jamarion Vines is the baby daddy.
2/2/2019	Sammie was raped. Takes selfies during her SART exam.
3/9/2019	Baby shower scheduled for May 2, 2019. She says she is "3 months will be 4 months soon".
3/10/2019	Happy 1st Birthday in Heaven Adalynn Faith! (she "miscarried" on 1/20/18 - if this was the same baby as Lailah Marie, the due date was May 15, 2018 - 3 days before Weezy's due date)
3/13/2019	Posts "baby bump" picture and claims to be 3 months.
3/15/2019	Claims to have lost her mucus plug and that her baby is already 4lds and the doc says it could be a 10 pounder.
3/19/2019	Posts fake ultrasound from fake ER visit because she was having bad craps in her stomach and she was 5cm dilated.
3/21/2019	How long were you in labor meme: 12 with Bently, 11 with Lucy, 6 hours with twins Amariah and Rick (Marlow?) No mention of Weezy or Printhass. Previously she claimed 2 and 4 hours for Bent and Lucy, respectively.

 

[eternal dog mongler]

And the triplets were never mentioned again.

Printhas is still around. I think that's the only fake baby she kept.

 

[Miss Misery]

Maybe the triplets became the twins. Aniyah Renee is Amariah and Rick is Damarcus Levy with Dahliegah Lamar as his parasitic twin?

Edit: Or maybe Dahliegah is Aniyah's parasitic twin.

Fuckit, they're all parasites.

 

[Trombonista]

Fuckit, they're all parasites.

Her next fake baby will be named Pencilvester.

 

[Miss Misery]

Her next fake baby will be named Pencilvester.

Okay. But the next real one has to be named Mr. Poopybutthole.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

I’m going to predict that Sammie is heading for a born-again saga. She’s a stereotypical redneck born again Christian waiting to happen, she just needs to hit a low point or run out of tugboat money and crackheads. What is a true low point for Sammie is the big mystery.

She will bask in the positive attention finding Jesus will bring her and all the people who will be forced to embrace her as a result. Mama will probably let her take her two real kids to church for awhile.

It won’t last very long, but it’s a guaranteed story arc in her life until she turns heel again and starts picking up boyfriends in the public library’s computer room.

 

[cuddle striker]

Okay I know this is still more detailed and spergy than you wanted @cuddle striker, but once I got in there and started looking at the details, there wasn't really a good way to quantify shit in a meaningful way because her lies and dates are all over the fucking place so I just went with the dates she posted shit and what she said (and how facts and reality contradicted her claims).

Spoiler: Sammie's Baby Spergsheet

Post Date	Drama Details
2/19/2015	Going to jail boo hoo, I'm gonna have to born my babby there. (claims she's 4 weeks pregnant)
2/26/2015	Babby magically became twins!
6/23/2015	She doesn't want to eat because she so sad from being bulled but she should eat because she's pregnant.
7/15/2015	Angry at people for calling her pregnancy a fake.
8/9/2015	Went to pie, wiped and saw blood.
11/26/2015	Bently wants to come out but the doctors won't let him
12/21/2015	Bently Raymond Mendenhall born, 6lbs, 5oz, 18.5inches, 2 hours labor. (see previous post about possible conception dates)
12/23/2015	Bently born on 21st, but had to stay in hospital because he had Yellow Sink Disease
4/6/2016	Positive pregnancy test.
4/12/2016	Real ultrasound. "I'm 5 weeks so I'm 2 months"
4/17/2016	"5 weeks so I'm 2 months I'm almost 6 weeks"
4/25/2016	"I'm 7 weeks today"
9/1/2016	Had to go to hospital to get a shot to stop her contractions.
9/20/2016	Ultrasound pic (real).
10/20/2016	Water broke and she started to dilate; went to hospital, supposedly going to be induced. (real due date is 12/12/16) (=conception date 3/20/16)
11/1/2016	"Three weeks left until Lucy Jane Mendenhall is here."
11/14/2016	Going to the doctor tomorrow, hoping he will induce labor.
11/15/2016	Lucy Jane Mendenhall born.
11/20/2016	Whining about Lucy still being in hospital; "she choked on some fluids"
1/20/2017	Posts about her pregnancy cord and hormones being damaged forever.
1/24/2017	I think I'm pregnant again.
1/25/2017	Posts about spotting during pregnancy and insists she's pregnant.
1/26/2017	Posts pregnancy announcement; doesn't notice it says due in Nopevember.
1/29/2017	Oh noes I had a miscarriage! Bye baby girl
2/13/2017	I think I might be pregnant again.
2/19/2017	Doing a pregnancy test today! -posts picture of negative test-
3/20/2017	Posts another picture of an evaporation line "postitive" test.
3/23/2017	I didn't have a miscarriage after all! It's Tyler Eirhart's!
4/4/2017	Going to the doctor today!
4/5/2017	I had a miscarriage. Austin and I are going to try for another baby.
4/23/2017	"thinkin I'm pregnant again"
5/19/2017	Waahhhh why can't I get pregnant again???
5/24/2017	I think I might be pregnant again.
6/19/2017	Nonaffiliated farmers find a FB account post from May 30, 2014, from one of Sammie's troll accounts claiming she's pregnant and the mother of 5.
8/3/2017	"There's a little egg cooking in the oven!"
8/10/2017	Baby girl Remi is due April 12, 2018 (=conception 7/27/17). Says she got pregnant "when she went to the hospital in June". If so then she'd be due in March or earlier. Eric Sherrill tagged.
8/19/2017	Oops, the baby is Austin's, not Eric's. I'm almost 3 months. "Yesterday you said you were 6 weeks." I'm almost 2 months. (If she's due 4/12 then she's not even a month yet.)
9/6/2017	Casually drops the fact that she had a miscarriage in the comments. Godspeed, Remi!
9/9/2017	Claims to be pregnant again. Mom comes in and shuts her shit down.
9/29/2017	Posted to her fake Teen Mom 4 IG: Lailah Marie due May 15, 2018 (conception date 8/20/2017)
10/8/2017	Posts a boohoo about being a single pregnant mom.
10/26/2017	Going to the doctor's on the 31st to see about my fetus! (same day her real baby is having open heart surgery.)
11/17/2017	Posts an old preg selfie (Bently era?) with huge baby bump; claims she's pregnant by a black man but Austin will stand by her! Pic has WD at the beginning for no reason; Weezy Dwayne?
1/19/2018	Wahhhh I had a miscarriage. Supposedly was 5 weeks. (Conception 12/15/17.)
1/20/2018	RIP Adalynn Faith Mendenhall.
1/20/2018	Called out in miscarriage comments: 22 weeks ago (8/20/2017) you said you were 4 months pregnant (conception 4/20/17).
2/14/2018	"Today's the day: Pink or Blue?"
4/24/2018	IG of stolen baby photo with dog filter, it's lil' Weezy Dwayne Carter, he's been borned! (his official due date was 5/18/18; he finally ends up being officially "born" on 5/15/18 in Sept. 2018, which was Lailah Marie's due date.)
5/10/2018	I might not be able to have any more babbys cuz sumthins wrong with mah overeasies.
6/15/2018	Posts a pic of her 3 baby bumps, mentions Weezy Dwayne is 1 year old already. Later she will say that Weezy's birthday is 5/15/18.
6/30/2018	Wahhh I'm pregnant and Dalton Cloaca can't even see his child when I have it!
7/28/2018	Posts a pic of fat stomach, claims it's a girl and the daddy is Londra Moore.
7/29/2018	Pic of fat belly claiming Genesis Printhas Elizabeth Gatlin and her stepdaddy Austin, claims to be 1 month pregnant.
8/2/2018	Picture of fat belly, baby shower cake, other nonsense, says she's "4 weeks and a month" in the comments. Daddy named as Jay Rellz.
8/5/2018	Picture of belly, went to the doctor; "said I'm 5 almost 6 months" Daddy named as Dalton Colclasure.
8/9/2018	Stolen 3D ultrasound of Printhass posted by Dalton Cloaca.
8/17/2018	My due date is February 30, 2019! Read for filth in the comments, so she quickly edits to February 28.
8/29/2018	Baby shower scheduled for September 28th. When she's four months pregnant, according to her February 30th due date.
9/2/2018	Genesis Printhas Elizabeth Colclasure born, 7lds, 12oz, 20ins. 4 hours labor. Comments say she previously said she was due in December.
9/4/2018	Her IG says that Weezy Dwayne was born on 5/15/18 and that Printhass was born at 6 mos 27 days (= conception around Feb 4/due date in mid Nov.)
9/8/2018	Claims to be pregnant again in Dalton's comments because she's jelly that he's "married" to someone else.
9/30/2018	Posted to IG: Michael Leeson Berry, born 7/8/2012, 10lds 8oz, 19in (if kid exists she'd have been 16. but pic is fake and no 10.5lds baby would be only 19in)
9/30/2018	Posted to IG: She doubles down on Weezy Dwayne Carter. Born 5/15/18, 8lds, 12oz, 20ins. Fake pic, looks like a Kardashian spawn. (conception date 8/20/17)
10/10/2018	Claims to be having triplets: Damarcus Levy, Dahliegah Lamar, Aniyah Renee.
11/8/2018	Posts a picture of an evaporation line "positive" pregnancy test.
11/12/2018	Posts a meme about babies and mentions a babby girl named Makiyah Grant.
11/12/2018	Announces she is pregnant with twins and that she's 13 weeks and 3 days pregnant. (conception date around 8/10/18 - prior to Printhass being born)
12/7/2018	Selfie with caption: The twins are okay! Daddy is Clarnce Marlow.
1/14/2019	Posts a "fetal heartrate" with 75avg/46min/92max, which is obviously from someone's FitBit. (Normal FHR is 120-160bpm depending on gestational age.) This is for a single babby.
1/21/2019	Claims someone by the name of Jermaine Phillips is the father of her "Oreo baby".
1/22/2019	Fake ultrasound. "I will be reviewing the gender soon."
1/23/2019	Someone comments on her post from 12/7/18 asking what happened to the twins: "They're with my cousin." If you were generous they were MAYBE 5 mos/21 weeks when born. Note that fetal viability at 21 weeks is 0%, especially for twins.
1/26/2019	Claims Jamarion Vines is the baby daddy.
2/2/2019	Sammie was raped. Takes selfies during her SART exam.
3/9/2019	Baby shower scheduled for May 2, 2019. She says she is "3 months will be 4 months soon".
3/10/2019	Happy 1st Birthday in Heaven Adalynn Faith! (she "miscarried" on 1/20/18 - if this was the same baby as Lailah Marie, the due date was May 15, 2018 - 3 days before Weezy's due date)
3/13/2019	Posts "baby bump" picture and claims to be 3 months.
3/15/2019	Claims to have lost her mucus plug and that her baby is already 4lds and the doc says it could be a 10 pounder.
3/19/2019	Posts fake ultrasound from fake ER visit because she was having bad craps in her stomach and she was 5cm dilated.
3/21/2019	How long were you in labor meme: 12 with Bently, 11 with Lucy, 6 hours with twins Amariah and Rick (Marlow?) No mention of Weezy or Printhass. Previously she claimed 2 and 4 hours for Bent and Lucy, respectively.

you are fantastic and I adore this

if I'm doing my math right, she's claimed 35/36 separate children (I'm not counting times when she announced twice within a month or so/with same father as well. those seem like multiple references to the same pregnancy). I'm torn on whether to count the one claim as twins or triplets, since she claimed both at once. or would that add three? hmm

35 totally separate pregnancies, some multiples, several overlapping in time, and most happening within a week of the last one ending.

I'd love to see a baby daddy list but your amazing spreadsheet is enough for me right now. so damn good.

 

[Muscle Bra]

Printhas is still around. I think that's the only fake baby she kept.

Of which I am quite glad. No one in the history of ever will come up with a more white trash/exceptional name than Genesis Printhas.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

The De'Shaun account is completely run by her. What I don't know is if she's completely made up De'Shaun, or if someone is catfishing her WITH him, and she made the account just so she could tag him and give herself compliments.

And, uh, I think I discovered the new imaginary babys name. And it's a doozy.
View attachment 699198

Lagerece is pronounced "luh greasy" and no one can convince me otherwise.

I've been at my desk trying to say these names out loud, and my roommate thinks I'm stoned

Being stoned actually may render them pronounceable.

There was something going around on the Internet years ago about a girl named Le-a. Pronounced "Ladasha," because according to her mother, "the dash don't be silent."

That's what I think of when I see Sammie's name choices.

Oh Sammie.
View attachment 699729View attachment 699730View attachment 699731

Don’t forget she’s getting kicked in her rips.

Sami had pain from her three month old son kicking her “rips”?
A three month fetus is only 3-4 inches in size and weighs about an ounce.
Of all her lies, this one actually makes me laugh.

She claimed the doctor told her the baby already weighed 3 pounds. She's insane.

Are we not even gonna talk about how the baby is in her back, which is why she's not showing?

I mean, kids in general are pudgy and weird-shaped because their bodies are growing in every direction. Certainly, compared to how Sammie looks right now, old-Sammie is rail thin. I think if she'd ever eaten one healthy meal and hadn't gotten knocked up so young, she would have been able to maintain being what I would call thicc-skinny.

Editing to avoid double-posting (and then again a few minutes later):

What huh? Twins Amariah and Rick? WHOM? I've been reading this thread for months, and I've read through it a couple times and I don't remember these twins ever being mentioned.

View attachment 701794View attachment 701796

She calls Lucy "LJ." Lucy.

Yeah, it really is. What is it with people (particularly black people) giving their children nigga names? You're just asking for them to never be able to get a proper job.

Well. . .

 

[Polexia Aphrodisia]

Daagye at least sounds like it's directly from Africa. Although apparently she is one of two people in the world with that name, so I can't look up what the real etymology is.

Shanika, though, is pure hood. I work at a store that has a lot of black customers and some of the names are just fucking bad. You got your Shaniqua, Latrisha, Devonique, Lashanda, and even - I am not making this up - a real life Latrina. There's one woman whose name is something like His'Grace or God'sLove or something like that, some mashup of a random religious phrase with a hyphen in there. I did in fact meet a GodsGrace once. One woman had the last name of Christmas. An older black man had the last name "Person"; feels like there's a fucked up story behind that.

I'd be all for black people naming their kids African names or Caribbean names or a name that otherwise honors their family heritage. But hoodrat names like Lashanda, Latrina, DeShan, LaDavius, et cetera, actively hinder a kid - which is something that's acknowledged in the black community.

Do I think it's unfair that Timothy Johnson is more likely to get a job interview than Octamarion Johnson? Sure, but it's not fair to pit your child against an immovable societal bias from day one.

(there are definitely trashy white names too)

 

[Whatthefuck]

Okay. But the next real one has to be named Mr. Poopybutthole.

I'm fairly certain just from the sheer number of them and how they are residing in one location we can just call them Unity.

 

[eternal dog mongler]

I'd be all for black people naming their kids African names or Caribbean names or a name that otherwise honors their family heritage. But hoodrat names like Lashanda, Latrina, DeShan, LaDavius, et cetera, actively hinder a kid - which is something that's acknowledged in the black community.

I'm not sure why the LaWhatever names are just something black people in the US decided to invent for some fucking reason. Naming your kid something like Quentavious de Marion is going to fuck up his chances of getting a job. HR's eyes will just glaze over at that obviously super-black name.

Actual Africans tend to have religious names, either Christian or Muslim. Sometimes they have tribe-related names but that's likely in the minority these days. So you get a lot of "Faith" and "Patience" and "Kum Emmanuel" and "Mohammed."

Except for veteran Nollywood actor Larry Koldsweat. He somehow slipped through the cracks and has the best name ever.

 

[wateryketchup]

I'm not sure why the LaWhatever names are just something black people in the US decided to invent for some fucking reason. Naming your kid something like Quentavious de Marion is going to fuck up his chances of getting a job. HR's eyes will just glaze over at that obviously super-black name.

Actual Africans tend to have religious names, either Christian or Muslim. Sometimes they have tribe-related names but that's likely in the minority these days. So you get a lot of "Faith" and "Patience" and "Kum Emmanuel" and "Mohammed."

Except for veteran Nollywood actor Larry Koldsweat. He somehow slipped through the cracks and has the best name ever.

IIRC the black community started naming their kids stuff like Latrina and DaQuan because they were trying to get back in touch with their African ancestry, but like a game of telephone the names ended up getting more and more ridiculous. With the advent of the internet it's not hard at all to find genuine African/Caribbean names so I don't know why they just start doing that instead of keeping up with stupid sounding meme names

(I will admit tho that that's a better story than whites who name their kid Mackay-la and C8tlyn who literally just do it to be super special and unique)

 

[Polexia Aphrodisia]

Quentavious de Marion is going to fuck up his chances of getting a job. HR's eyes will just glaze over at that obviously super-black name.

I don't even think it's specifically about race and more about perceived attitude and supposed upbringing.
Going to sound racist as all hell here, but there's definitely an attitude difference between black people from the hood and black people from nicer areas. Shit, it isn't even a race thing, it's almost universal.

Detravious, Dammieon, Shameika, etc. all sound like they come from the hood. So they would be more likely to have a confrontational personality, personal drama with baby mommas/daddies, unreliable transportation, unprofessional conduct and appearance, et cetera. All of the hoodrat stereotypes.
Shit, even Sammie herself sounds trashier than Sam or Samantha. Or what would you think about an applicant named Brandee or Tiffanee? How about Braeghlynn? Quinnlan? Jaxon? Tandie-Jo?

Plenty of names have stereotypes and negative implications attached to them. Again, I don't deny it's fucked up that Tandie-Jo and Jaxon and Detravious are judged before they're met, while Sarah and Andrea and James are given more leeway. But there's a reason that lots of people put more effort and thought into a baby name than "gee, that sounds nice!" and we don't have a lot of Printheses and Shavondraneleas walking around in all parts of society.

 

[Rabbit Bones]

She calls Lucy "LJ." Lucy.

Her middle name is Jane. Lucy Jane. Either Sammie REALLY hadn't gotten in touch with her inner niggo when she named her real kids, or Mama Bushart stepped in.

 

[SnarkySperg]

Daagye at least sounds like it's directly from Africa. Although apparently she is one of two people in the world with that name, so I can't look up what the real etymology is.

Shanika, though, is pure hood. I work at a store that has a lot of black customers and some of the names are just fucking bad. You got your Shaniqua, Latrisha, Devonique, Lashanda, and even - I am not making this up - a real life Latrina. There's one woman whose name is something like His'Grace or God'sLove or something like that, some mashup of a random religious phrase with a hyphen in there. I did in fact meet a GodsGrace once. One woman had the last name of Christmas. An older black man had the last name "Person"; feels like there's a fucked up story behind that.

I'd be all for black people naming their kids African names or Caribbean names or a name that otherwise honors their family heritage. But hoodrat names like Lashanda, Latrina, DeShan, LaDavius, et cetera, actively hinder a kid - which is something that's acknowledged in the black community.

Do I think it's unfair that Timothy Johnson is more likely to get a job interview than Octamarion Johnson? Sure, but it's not fair to pit your child against an immovable societal bias from day one.

(there are definitely trashy white names too)

This is something me and my boyfriend have discussed. You got white people. They're white, whatever, they name their kid after family or they just like a name.

Then you got Asians. They want their kids to succeed, so they give them a normal name. I knew a Chinese kid named Denver. His last name was basically unpronounceable unless you knew him (I was in a lot of classes with him and it was funny watching substitutes when they saw his name on the roster), but his first name is a common name. Some immigrants named their kids traditional names, but usually their first name is pretty normal.

Hispanics are usually given a pretty traditional name, or at least one that sounds traditional, if they're not just given a normal name.

Then you got black people. Some have pretty common names--I knew a black girl named Rebecca who had one of the most cliche white chick middle names ever. But you have others who don't. I just don't get it. I understand if it WAS an ethnic name but it often isn't and it's getting obnoxious now.