super wizard sam hyde, after reaching the age of 30 and still haven't had sex wtih a woman (female), obtains his wand and just attaches it to his ak, says "time to visit the american department of magic"
You know, the mental image of combat wizards wielding Assault Rifles with magic wands attached to the muzzle like a bajonett is such a ridiculous idea that it's actually totally awesome. Could be the foundation for a really cool schlock movie.
the power levels just keep climbing higher and higher and higher, and the stakes go from fighting a superweapon to a ragtag group saving the Galaxy to stopping fucking time travel Palpatine from killing everyone across time and space... and yet nothing's changed.
I have to disagree, the stakes actually feel considerably lower in TLJ than in TFA. In TFA, the big goal is to destroy a superweapon, that annihilates entire star systems... in TLJ, the goal is to find a gas station or something.
Sad news fellas
Diahann Carroll, best known as the waifu/cyberfleshlight Chewbacca's senile father,
passed away today
Let us think back to that beautiful epoch...that happy and innocent age when people were naive enough to think *
this* was the worst thing to ever happen to star wars...
Good night sweet cyber-th0t. May sprays of wookie jizz lull you to your sleep...
RIP, weirdly sexual lady.
I would love to know what the creators thought when they made that segment...
From what I understand, Han the Porg will be in the movie to some small extent since one of the "Journey to IX" comics is about the Porg becoming nu-Chewie's official partner and beloved by everyone.
Now, won't that be an amazing sight for sore eyes in theatres across the globe? Chewie will stride around with his Porg friend in a Han Solo vest waddling along. That'll really please audiences. I hope there'll be some light-hearted jokes about Han being dead and replaced by a porg.
Audiences won't know what hit them, once they are forced to watch something this offensive and stupid out of the blue.
Some at the time had doubts and said it was only a placeholder color due to the colormap on his chest, but it looks like this really is his final color...
I know, at this point it's kind of moot to ask, but what's wrong with these people? Can't they take a short look at these designs and just realize how atrocious they are?
You can't write a story about an omnipotent being overcoming adversity, the nature of omnipotence means that it is impossible for them to be stymied by a physical force.
You can't write a story about such a character struggling to overcome adversity, but you can still write compelling stories about such characters if you're smart.
One Punch Man is a great example.
She hasnt had a situation where she had to try
Oh come on, she
almost had an emotion when she lifted around 50 metric tons of solid rock on her first attempt. Granted that "almost an emotion" was her going "Oh, so this is something I can do now? That's kinda neat, I guess, whatever".
I swear to god, she could kill a guy by just pointing her finger at him and go "
pew pew".
Until Rey Sue picked up half a fucking mountain by herself in TLJ, she was never really involved with the Discount Rebellion. She just moved JJ-8 to the Falcon and flew it in a random direction, just fucking happening to get where she needed to be. She then did basically jack shit for the rest of the film, only slapping away Kylo in a display of Suedom before doing nothing as the JJ Star was blown up. In TLJ she's even more divorced from the real plot, doing basically nothing until she goes onto the Nu-Executor, where she has her Sue moment with Snoke and fights some guards. She then is told she was made by nobodies and then fucks off to only shoot down three TIE fighters at once on NuHoth. She then does jack shit.
You know, I never really thought about it like this. TFA and TLJ fail for many reasons, one of which is that the characters never really experience anything together, there is almost no banter or situations that they overcome as a team... Poe is gone for 75% of the movie, Finn and Rey have a few moments... but that soon stops. In TLJ, everyone goes off on their own adventure and instead of camaraderie and teamwork, we get . . .
ugh . . . Rose Tico.
The other: Rey has little involvement in this story as a whole. I mean, with TLJ's plotlines all going nowhere, that's true for all of the characters...
She only mattered to Snoke as a way to find Skywalker which....well....he did fuckall with.
In TFA Snoke wants Kylo to bring Rey to him . . . but thanks to Ruin, that never mattered, since Rey is the daughter of some nobodies, but that was a movie ago and is no longer true. Now, she's the granddaughter of Palpatine or something, so I guess it will now make sense?
Who am I kidding, they'll most likely fuck that up, too.
I feel bad for Zahn, he's forced to write a Disney version of his character.
Inb4 it's about Orange Yoda (friendly reminder that she's supposed to be older than Yoda).
It's gonna be about how Orange Yoda was a Jedi Master on Coruscant before Palpatine took over, but then she quit, cause she was only earning 80% of what Yoda did. It will also show us a young Yoda during his frat-days on Padawan college, where he drunkenly tries to get into the pants of some girl, but recoils in horror when he grabs her crotch and has a bit of a pickle surprise, cause -y'know- Yoda is not only a chauvinist, but he's also a bigot who hates LGBTWORDSALAD+.
The movie will then show how she helped save a shitton of lives during the Clone Wars and the Civil War, for instance, she'll be the one shutting down the Trash Compactor that Luke, Han and Leia were in.
Cringe all you want, you know that is a likely plot for nuWars spin-offs.
It's pathetic that they can't just admit they fucked up and they will let the franchise rest a while before trying again.
Sunk Cost Fallacy, I guess.
Why Ollies though and not say a dumpster? Because even the fucking dump can't find a value for how worthless and toxic these pieces of shit are.
Toxic waste usually has to be disposed of by a special company.
