best quotes by chris

[NobleGreyHorse]

AND ILL BE BAAAANGIIIN YUR BEASTS TILL YOU GET A DOSAGE OF MY COMEUPPANCE

I don't correct other people's typos on the Internet, mostly. It's a dick move, and usually the typo isn't funny. But in this case I just have to say: Breasts! With an R! He's never offered to "piddle" anyone's cat, livestock, etc. that we know of.

 

[JeffGoldblumIRL]

AND ILL BE BAAAANGIIIN YUR BEASTS TILL YOU GET A DOSAGE OF MY COMEUPPANCE

I don't correct other people's typos on the Internet, mostly. It's a dick move, and usually the typo isn't funny. But in this case I just have to say: Breasts! With an R! He's never offered to "piddle" anyone's cat, livestock, etc. that we know of.

Well, he did tell Jackie (or Ivy?) he'd consider having sex with a collie ("like Lassie", in his words).

 

[Bubbles]

I'm also partial to this one

Mom took the wheel; Mike twice made his own deliberate leg scars, rubbing his legs on our bumper, banged our hood and fell backwards; we had NOT moved our van at either instance of him faking his falls.

 

[Tin]

gotta love "crashing into slumber", i've actually taken to using the term myself

 

[Joan Nyan]

Tú necesitas uhcrepsa etah y uhcinos evol per ganar felicidad por vida.

I'm not even going to pretend I know Spanish, but there are so many problems there. He doesn't even know the Spanish words for love and hate.

 

[BizarreScenario]

For my money, nothing will ever beat:

"I am CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER, SO GET IT THROUGH YOUR DAMN FUCKING SKULL AND CALL ME A REAL NAME THAT have God has been given to me and the bear at Regency Square Shopping center, during 1989, YOU DAMN MOCKING BASTARD!!!"

It's Chris in a nutshell.

 

[House Of Reeves]

gotta love "crashing into slumber", i've actually taken to using the term myself

Same here. I'm personally fond of "The Pickle Man tricked me again." It's so profound, and is great to say whenever you donk up.

 

[CWC Tok]

gotta love "crashing into slumber", i've actually taken to using the term myself

Same here. I'm personally fond of "The Pickle Man tricked me again." It's so profound, and is great to say whenever you donk up.

He just sounds so sad when he delivers this one, it always makes me feel sorry for him.

 

[Lefty's Revenge]

Same here. I'm personally fond of "The Pickle Man tricked me again." It's so profound, and is great to say whenever you donk up.

He just sounds so sad when he delivers this one, it always makes me feel sorry for him.

I can't think of another CWC moment which more perfectly sums up the tragedy, comedy, and absurdity that is OPL than him taking that deep breath and talking about how the pickle man tricked him and made is fake gf break up with him all while he lays on his side in front of the camera to show us how ready he is to "Crash into slumber".

 

[Count groudon]

Same here. I'm personally fond of "The Pickle Man tricked me again." It's so profound, and is great to say whenever you donk up.

He just sounds so sad when he delivers this one, it always makes me feel sorry for him.

I can't think of another CWC moment which more perfectly sums up the tragedy, comedy, and absurdity that is OPL than him taking that deep breath and talking about how the pickle man tricked him and made is fake gf break up with him all while he lays on his side in front of the camera to show us how ready he is to "Crash into slumber".

I especially love the fact that the entire time he's giving this deep emotional speech he's resting his head on a filthy sonic plushie. And lets not forget the part at the end where he tried to send his fans after the dude who pissed on his medal. It's like everything about Chris perfectly summed up in one vid

 

[Giovanni]

"Nooooooooo!"

In public, in a mall, upon learning that Hanna wasn't romantically interested with him. I wonder how those nearby reacted to this crazy man spazzing.

If I had a time machine, man. If only I had a time machine.

 

[CaptainDong]

My all time favorite is still:

"I am going to shove your ass down your throat, AND MAKE YOU EAT YOUR UNDERWEAR!!!"

 

[ChameleonBody]

"I… am an American" from the father call gets me every single time

 

[PancakeAssassin]

My personal favorite is "CRAYOLA! FUCKING! MODEL! MAGIC!"

If I lived next to the Chandlers and heard Chris screaming from my window, I'd record all of it and play it during Halloween to scare kids.

 

[Enjoy your spaghetti]

Whatever he had Sonichu tell Mary Lee Walsh had to be quotable.

 

[Christ-Chan]

I got a video game for Christmas where you can take different paths, so I save IN A SEPARATE SLOT when I reach a fork in the road.

 

[Lefty's Revenge]

Please understand: I am a 25 year old, high-funtshening autistic male… with a simple, peaceful dream… of becoming a father of a sweet, lil, pretty girl, who I will dub-ly name Crystal Wesson Chanler. Crystal: a name that sounds simla to mine, but it has a nice ring to it. And it’s also simla to the illustrious \M/ETAL that is mined from the Ers’s ground.

Chris handles words in the same capacity that a blind 7 year old amputee would handle a car.

 

[SteelPlatedHeart]

I'm pretty partial to his newest Facebook post, given just how completely out of left field and WTF it is.

 

[The Dude]

"And the bear" is a meme between Mrs. Dude and I. She finds it so amusingly bizarre and usually giggles when one of us says it.

 

[GodBearMissionary]

"Yeah, and I'm just gonna keep bangin' your BREASTS OVER AND OVER AGAIN until you get the first DOSAGE of my comeuppance!"