Boring Lolcows who you don't get the appeal of

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

Nigga, really...

Writing a whole ass essay kind of proves the OP’s point. We get it, some users like DSP others don't. That’s cool. I enjoy laughing at the daft cunt and his spastic Dee-Tractors myself, but others simply don't see the appeal.

I, personally, am partial to Pixy, Masaokis and Jack Scalfani. Others are not keen on them and that’s cool. Swings and roundabouts.

On an unrelated note – adore your work on KOP/Bryan Dunn. You don’t get put over enough for rewriting that trainwreck of an OP

Dude, you've missed my point. I didn't say that DSP isn't boring, quite the opposite, I've said that there is no way he isn't a cow.

Well, thanks, I appreciate that.

 

[Cilleystring]

I could never get hard into DSP, but being a Greer fan I can understand why people got into him. I can also see why people think Greer can be boring, as he goes through some pretty dry phases and the thread can be very cluttered.

With Greer, it's all about him coming up with new spectacularly awful ways to fail his projects, while also repeating the same failures (i.e. Stating a legal claim, sending "the coolest" msgs to girls on instagram). His life goal of owning a rape brothel while claiming to be rhe ultimate victim makes all his failures that much funnier. He is basically the worlds least charismatic and most incompetent super villain.

 

[Pissmaster]

ClownfishTV and The Quartering

Don't get me wrong, The Quartering is a lolcow for sure but I dunno how he managed to get over 400 pages unless there's some stuff I'm missing

ClownfishTV on the other hand I feel aren't lolcows in my opinion. I can see why some disagree with them but I feel like calling them a lolcow is a stretch

TheQuartering has a ton of hypocrisy that’s easy to point out, but he’s also a schlocky YouTuber that just reads stories and gives popular palatable takes for places like KotakuInAction on Reddit to repost and go YEEEEAAHHHHH BOIIIIIIIII

but yeah, he’s boring, he’s a fencesitter who doesn’t care much about what he says and keeps doing it for that bag

 

[Disgruntled Pupper]

I've tried to get into Tommy Tooter multiple times, on paper he sounds great for a lolcow, but every time I actually venture into his subforum it's just hours long videos of him complaining to someone on the phone or people arguing with him directly about fucking dogs and kids. Even when he gets mad he doesn't so much as chimp as just bitch endlessly and without pause in an old man prattling voice. It's like listening to your grandpa tell stories about WW2 and the dust bowl, but instead it's him talking about how he's a woman and the Farms need to be shut down.

 

[Shig O'nella]

Any of the youtube cows, but especially the breadtubers. Never seen the sense in watching some nobody blather on for several hours anyway, so they're just not for me.

 

[Angry Canadian]

I find most cows boring, basically all the ones already mentioned (DSP, Tooter, Greer, the fatties, etc)
I'm only interested in schizos and absolute degenerates. The only thread I actively follow is the Earl Hypernova thread because he's both a schizo and a degenerate.

 

[celebrityskin]

Vaush. Just a fat sweaty cunt with a low IQ preaching to the choir to the tune of thousands each month.

 

[AngryTreeRat]

Until recently, Lucas Werner. Currently he's a bit if a giggle though.

MovieBob. Just... He's so fucking boring. Same with Cooking with Jack. Neither of them do anything new or interested, and I enjoy the more commonly dismissed as boring cows, except DSP, I got bored of him years ago, though I lurk more than I post.

Oh, and like all of BP. Nothing of value there. Just angry women a-logging at other women.

 

[eDove]

I've tried to get into Tommy Tooter multiple times, on paper he sounds great for a lolcow, but every time I actually venture into his subforum it's just hours long videos of him complaining to someone on the phone or people arguing with him directly about fucking dogs and kids. Even when he gets mad he doesn't so much as chimp as just bitch endlessly and without pause in an old man prattling voice. It's like listening to your grandpa tell stories about WW2 and the dust bowl, but instead it's him talking about how he's a woman and the Farms need to be shut down.

I agree with you. The one upside to Tommy is that he drew out the real crazy @Dee Price and their back-and-forths are hilarious, as well as the whole of Kiwi Farms gangbanging them with kindergarten-tier slander. It's just a pot of lunacy. Buuuut when you check on the thread, it's the same thing every damn day. Same arguments. Same insults. The entertainment factor is that these troons waste so much time and energy defending themselves here.

When Null chit-chatted with Tommy on Mad At The Internet, that was probably the most funny Tommy ever was. I can't listen to that old man by himself for any length of time.

 

[Dee Price]

I agree with you. The one upside to Tommy is that he drew out the real crazy @Dee Price and their back-and-forths are hilarious, as well as the whole of Kiwi Farms gangbanging them with kindergarten-tier slander. It's just a pot of lunacy. Buuuut when you check on the thread, it's the same thing every damn day. Same arguments. Same insults. The entertainment factor is that these troons waste so much time and energy defending themselves here.

When Null chit-chatted with Tommy on Mad At The Internet, that was probably the most funny Tommy ever was. I can't listen to that old man by himself for any length of time.

Lol actually I do have an ability no one seems to have setting tom off And not the other way around. And yes you do seem to be less educated than most first grade kids.

 

[yatolee]

I think PPP is a boring lolcow because he's just so ghetto with his extremely long commentary videos and audio quality. The gay breakup saga was hilarious, but now it's boring again. I would say Mumkey Jones, but his thread is dead.

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

I think PPP is a boring lolcow because he's just so ghetto with his extremely long commentary videos and audio quality.

Don't worry, he has all the chances to end up like Gunt. He too doesn't know when to quit.

I would say Mumkey Jones, but his thread is dead.

Because he wasn't a cow to begin with. He had a period when he was on downward spiral due to IRL shit, but then he recovered. The only funny things from that were his sex tape and hoards of retarded yes-men repeating "Mumkey is gonna kill himself because Null said so".

I find most cows boring, basically all the ones already mentioned (DSP, Tooter, Greer, the fatties, etc)
I'm only interested in schizos and absolute degenerates. The only thread I actively follow is the Earl Hypernova thread because he's both a schizo and a degenerate.

You should try APC, since he is a schizo, degenerate AND canadian.

 

[eDove]

Lol actually I do have an ability no one seems to have setting tom off And not the other way around. And yes you do seem to be less educated than most first grade kids.

I thought you were dead, Dee. Welcome back.

 

[Hamplanet Fitness]

3/4 of Internet Famous, tbh. Who actually wants to watch autists rant at each other. It's fucking dumb and boring.

 

[PeriodicTrouble]

I still maintain that Doug Walker is not a lolcow. I don’t prefer him as an entertainer but to me lolcows are more about who they are behind the screen and there’s not enough on Doug to prove he’s some shitty insane douchebag in real life. I even met the dude when I was still young and into cringe shit and he was incredibly kind, unlike every other celebrity guest at that particular convention.

He got the Lolcow thread because of the Change The Channel controversy that was happening at the time. If it wasn't for that, he probably would of stayed as the main subject of the Angry Critics thread in the multimedia sub forum or maybe have a thread in Internet Famous.

I tried keeping up to date on the Spoony thread but the guy keeps twitting the same dreadful, pathetic bullshit that I found myself absolutely irritated with his annoying existence. So I closed the tab and read something better elsewhere.

The Spoony thread is now even more boring because it's still going even though he hasn't tweeted in over 2 months. No videos for a year, no tweets for 2 months, the only thing he's done is just update his Amazon wishlist. It's just people talking about how Spoony could of changed what he talked about in order to remain successful and other stuff that have been regurgitated a million times at this point about Spoony.

 

[RussianParasite]

I could never really get into any of the schizocows. I want my Lolcows to have at least fleeting moments of self reflection and to have some agency in their lives.

Chantal has these fleeting moments of “what the fuck is wrong with me” when she isn’t high or fucked up— which is almost never these days. I believe that Greer is deeply affected by his losses which is hilarious because he is such a shitty person. I think even CWC has these realizations from time when he isn’t fully in his imaginary world.

They all could change in a second for the better but actively choose not to do so. That’s what makes Lolcows so funny to me, whereas Schizos don’t really have the option to not be crazy.

 

[Pargon]

Ethan Ralph. Holy shit, a fat loudmouth belligerent hick on the internet?! A fucking rarity to be sure.

Fuck’s sake, there may as well be an entire genre/subsection dedicated to them in every streaming platform. The only thing that separates Gunt from thousands of others is his complete inability to stop embarrassing himself with his dumbass life decisions, and I know that’s a key component to any lolcow but I can’t sit and listen to him talk shit for 2,589 hours to catch the next stupid thing he does.

I honestly can’t listen to any person on the internet run their mouth for any longer than 30 seconds before wanting to put my fist through my monitor, not even for drama. Watching someone browbeat their chat and talk smack at some other dipshit who’s not even present is so cringe that I can’t understand how regular followers don’t need dental work at the end of every show, and that includes DSP, my pet lolcow and reason I signed up to begin with.

I just want them all to shut up and go away.

 

[Glounder]

ALR or the other fat women that are always failing a weight loss journey, those people are dime a dozen in this day and age. And ALR is kinda boring, even the overly edited montages of her antics are nothing to write home about. She just sits there waffling about her life or trying on too small dresses.

 

[Neko GF]

Let's see: Onision hasn't done anything worth noting in a long while. John Walker/ Briana Wu hasn't done anything interesting since forever. And ALR haydurs are more entertaining than she is nowadays.

 

[yatolee]

Let's see: Onision hasn't done anything worth noting in a long while.

I think a few weeks(?) ago Onision threatened to sue a handful of Youtubers, but that dropped like a turd and it was still boring.