Grand Jury speculation thread

[Tennis-Ball-Tony]

Where does Chris go exactly if he's found not guilty?

There's a Dominos Pizza in the plaza the courthouse is at and the closest fast food restaurant..

 

[Meat Target]

Chris in prison would be a net gain.

There are millions of other fat retards to make fun of.

Yeah, but the Farms still wouldn't be the same without him. He is why our dumb little digital treehouse exists in the first place.

 

[Ms. 45]

Chris has been outed as a rapist by every news channel both foreign and domestic so I doubt any of his past enablers will help him.

Never underestimate the morbid fascination that some people have for even the most vile criminals: like the women who write love letters to sex murderers. And some people are just so lonely, and have such empty lives, that attaching themselves to anything sensational makes them feel special. Chris will have plenty of "supporters," who won't approve of what he did, but who'll want to get close to him. And the folks who have been actual enablers might not stop: Mr. Moon, for example, seems to have quite an emotional connection to Chris.

 

[Testacles Maximus]

We should party like it's 1999.

Anytime before the mother-fucking is a good time.

 

[TrippinKahlua]

It’s today?

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

Where does Chris go exactly if he's found not guilty? Barb is in a home and the homestead will likely be seized or sold to pay for her care. Chris has been outed as an elder rapist by every news channel both foreign and domestic so I doubt any of his past enablers will help him. Prison might honestly be his best option. The outside world really has nothing to offer him other than a brief period of homelessness followed by death.

Weens have been sending him money as soon as they found the way and Kengel has been by his side the whole time. Don't forget an army of whiteknights that still excuse this shit with "Christine was mercilessly trolled".

 

[NaggotFigger]

Where does Chris go exactly if he's found not guilty? Barb is in a home and the homestead will likely be seized or sold to pay for her care. Chris has been outed as an elder rapist by every news channel both foreign and domestic so I doubt any of his past enablers will help him. Prison might honestly be his best option. The outside world really has nothing to offer him other than a brief period of homelessness followed by death.

I'm not certainly sure, but it could be: 1. His home or 2. The streets or any other places where Chris's remaining fate were destined to be here. While yes, many of this are correct, but beside from being outed as an elder rapist with zero enablers helping him, the largest thing that they're unaware of or do not care to watch, is Chris's history itself. His history is what makes him a notorious target to both people who are interested in lolcows or Christory generally. That's where his fate destined to be after releasing, most likely.

 

[SaintChristopher69]

Will the local media be covering any of it at all? Court hearings are usually open to the public, though obviously this case is a little different.

 

[Kosher Dill]

Where does Chris go exactly if he's found not guilty?

WHEN (not if) Chris is found not guilty by reason of "Get this lolcow out of my court", he has plenty of options. In addition to just going back to 14BC, he can also stay with any number of weens from the internet who want their own pet tard.

 

[Ruin]

Will the local media be covering any of it at all? Court hearings are usually open to the public, though obviously this case is a little different.

It's in family court which is typically closed to the public.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

@Peanut Head when you call back, can you please get the case number and the nature of the hearing? Hearing IDs have a letter code that explains the general purpose of the hearing.

 

[Islamic Taylor Swift]

LETS FUCKIN GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

[Ms. 45]

Holy cow! I just discovered that Geno Samuel's YouTube series on Chris actually has its own page on IMDB!

Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History

 

[Hogar Grupal]

I kinda doubt it. Chris isn't totally crazy, and he's scared of his own shadow. When nut-cutting time comes in the courtroom, I think he'll have sense enough to bite his lip. He'll go into Megasperg Mode later, but he'll behave himself in court.

The first things out of Chris's fat mouth during his arraignment was that he wanted his toys. Before that, he burst out loud that Snyder doesn't deserve compensation for what Chris did. If Chris didn't learn the first time, Chris is sure as hell not going to learn, period. This is Chris: never underestimate a narc autist's ego.

 

[TrippinKahlua]

People always pretended “Hoarded Content” exists but clearly the Government of Greene County is gonna hoard the greatest content of all.

 

[Peanut Head]

@Peanut Head when you call back, can you please get the case number and the nature of the hearing? Hearing IDs have a letter code that explains the general purpose of the hearing.

absolutely hombre

 

[Medusa]

Absolutely brilliant, can’t wait to get slapped in the face with another continuance the inevitable not gulty verdict because he gets away with everything.

 

[Mossad Facade]

Autism will protect him.

 

[Islamic Taylor Swift]

The first things out of Chris's fat mouth during his arraignment was that he wanted his toys. Before that, he burst out loud that Snyder doesn't deserve compensation for what Chris did. If Chris didn't learn the first time, Chris is sure as hell not going to learn, period. This is Chris: never underestimate a narc autist's ego.

Maybe I’m just hopelessly naive, but I think being locked up for a few months and hopefully having his attorney explain at great length what can theoretically happen to him if he fucks his trial will keep him on his best behavior. I’d also like to believe the state fed him a buffet of meds but the letters clearly show that didn’t happen.

 

[Optimus Prime]

So back to prison then?

Chris being in and out of prison as a repeat offender is definitely a possibility.

Yeah, but the Farms still wouldn't be the same without him. He is why our dumb little digital treehouse exists in the first place.

At the same time, the whole reason the CWCkiforums turned into the Kiwi Farms was because Chris alone wasn't enough to support the growing community. Losing Chris would be a significant end of an era, but it's one we have prepared for and Chris himself hasn't even been the source of some of the biggest drama documented in a long time...well, discounting the part where his relationship with his mother got physical in all the wrong ways.

Weens have been sending him money as soon as they found the way and Kengel has been by his side the whole time. Don't forget an army of whiteknights that still excuse this shit with "Christine was mercilessly trolled".

Part of me wonders if Kengle is going to offer Chris to stay at his place, because of the former's nigh-idol worship of the latter. It would be the ultimate feather in his cap to have Chris himself live with him.

The first things out of Chris's fat mouth during his arraignment was that he wanted his toys. Before that, he burst out loud that Snyder doesn't deserve compensation for what Chris did. If Chris didn't learn the first time, Chris is sure as hell not going to learn, period. This is Chris: never underestimate a narc autist's ego.

Chris essentially thinks he's above all this, calling the lockup the "jail of fail" as if this was him making those dumb comics all those years ago.