Lolcow one liners you always remember - When your brain frequently blurts out a quote from a cow

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*Movement on stream/controller bang" - "SOMEBODY GET THIS SPOOK OUT OF MY MOTHERFUCKING CHAT YOU DUMB BLACK ASS COON, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY MOTHERFUCKING CHAT! SICK OF SEEING YOUR BLACK ASS IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ROOM!" *Street Fighter 5 sounds* "DON'T YOU GET THE MESSAGE BITCH?"

"I DON'T WANT YOU HERE SPOOK!!!!"

Always sticks with me.

Edit: The other one I can always remember - "YOU SAID THAT NASH WAS INSPIRATIONAL? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? GET THAT ASS BANNED MOTHERFUCKER! YOU'RE IMPRESSED BY THAT LAGGING ASS SHIT!!! HOLD ON, LET ME BAN THIS MOTHERFUCKER PERSONALLY, WHERE IS THIS BITCH AT?"
 
Just hours ago, I had been simmering some very nice 16 bean Cajun slurry to serve over rice, and hunger and excitement for imminent Hambeenz caused me to warble "shake my funky monkey ass, give me beans and I'll give you gas" before cackling in a diabolical manner.

Hubby watched me, aghast, and then asked "is that some Kiwi thing that I'll regret asking about before dinner" and I was off to the LMAO Races again.

I think I'll spring Cakefarts on him before we turn in for bed, for maximum impact.
 
"Cuz that's what you's deserve you god damn womanizing, raping, trolling, stupid, pickle suited... NIGGER" -- Chris Chan
"GUESS WHAT JUST CAME ON DAH RADIO, IT WAS GAWD'S PLAN!!!! GAWD'S PLAN AGGGGGGGGGGGH!!!" -- Ethan Ralph
"Hold down the A button!" -- Acerthorn
 
Like Jace Connors, Danny the Tourette's Guy was/is a fictional character marketed as a lolcow in such a way that this line will likely continue to stick with me until I cease to think:

He may not be a real lolcow, but tourette's guy has done irreparable damage to my vocabulary. I can't hear the word "Total" without mentally autocompleting "Don't talk shit about Total".
Modifying "I bought your colgate toothpaste. The one with tartar control and it made me feel like a piece of shit!" to fit any situation is another good one.

For lolcows:
"is gud. Juicy"
"meaty"
-Jack Scalfani (said in a gormless voice)

"I'm workin' on it!"
-CWC (Said in his voice)
I've used it on normie coworkers without noticing I'm doing the voice. I have been asked why I say it like that. Yes, I am an autist.

An innumerable amount of Low Tier God quotes.
GET THAT ASS BANNED is one that gets used daily.
 
IT’S PISSING ME OFF, IT PISSES ME OFFFFFFFF *blah blah blah falls over* BROKE MY FUCKING CIGARETTE, FUUUUUUUCCKKKK -Cobes

Not a lolcow but internet famous, I sometimes hear in my head the Ronnie McNutt ringtone it’s kinda spoopy
 
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things "exceeding the Hurtful Truth Level" entered my vocabulary
 
Ethan Ralph
“WHAT DOES MAMA MOON THINKS ABOUT YA, JERSH!”

Infrared
“You haven’t demonstrated!”
“FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME!”
 
Nothing beats Nikocado Avocado’s Two Steps Ahead villain speech for me:
I love it because it’s one of the few times where he’s not only coherent, but shows how articulate he can be when he wants to be. Had he been eating some fine ass steak while drinking wine, it would’ve been perfect.

Just the opening is the perfect one liner…

“Two steps ahead.”
 
"THAT STUPID FUCKING NIGGER!!! ALEX IS DOING THIS SHIT" - Keemstar

"Ban Uncut Chode" - Jordie "Richard" Jordan

"You're a worthless bitch ass nigga..." - LowTierGod

"Oh! The camera's on. The camera was on the whole time, huh." - Phil "Dave" Burnell

"My Dad was jerking off in front of me, and asked me if I wanted to join in. AND I DID!!!!!!" - Boogie 2988
 
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