Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

So it looks like Lucas was in hospital for cellulitis. But relax guys, he doesn't have MRSA, so he can't infect any zoomer bae who wants to indulge in whatever fucked up nurse fantasy he's had going on in his head while he's been in hospital. View attachment 6687336
As usual lucas is lying. MRSA does not go away, thats why hospitals are so obsessive about asking if you have it and take significant precautions if you do. He's trying to manipulate people into thinking its something that can be cured or go away on its own. He's lied about not having it multiple times before and about how contagious it is. I doubt they even tested for it, there is no reason to, he's had it for years so its in his medical record

and he's morbidly obese, severely diabetic, has a dead foot and just spent a week in the hospital with cellulitis in his leg - probably the fucked up one. No way that wound is healing as it should

I'm surprised he isn't gloating about whatever his idiot parents told him was waiting for him when he got out or quickly trying to remind everyone its his birthday in 2 days
 
"Wound healing as it should"
[X] Doubt
What Lucas says, is often incompatible with reality.
As usual lucas is lying. MRSA does not go away, thats why hospitals are so obsessive about asking if you have it and take significant precautions if you do. He's trying to manipulate people into thinking its something that can be cured or go away on its own. He's lied about not having it multiple times before and about how contagious it is. I doubt they even tested for it, there is no reason to, he's had it for years so its in his medical record

and he's morbidly obese, severely diabetic, has a dead foot and just spent a week in the hospital with cellulitis in his leg - probably the fucked up one. No way that wound is healing as it should

I'm surprised he isn't gloating about whatever his idiot parents told him was waiting for him when he got out or quickly trying to remind everyone its his birthday in 2 days
The MRSA is probably what caused the cellulitis in the first place. He's probably back at Mallon with the nurses watching him closely (much to their chagrin) and making sure that he takes the meds and doesn't do anything stupid.
 
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Lucas can't make a single post without coming up with some kind of bizarre nonsensical lie that he thinks makes him sound intelligent and witty. No lucas, you call it shitter because you heard other people call it that, who were repeating a literal decades old south park joke that was never funny to begin with

Lucas really is an idiot who doesn't understand that other people aren't as stupid as he is

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We all saw that one coming a mile away. If anyone does give him a gift I hope its a tube of foot cream labeled acne cream so we can have another swollen up like a balloon wern saga. or a joke MRSA-B-Gone spray. I'm still surprised after all these years none of the sofalaw types never sent a shit delivery to his door, or a cheap blowup doll so nobody can say he didn't get yeeted a zoomer bae

Who am I kidding, nobody will ever top the frozen catfish uber'd to his door. Ever
 
I was re-reading when Lucas was catfished to LA, and just got to the catfish motel delivery. Still hilarious after all this time.
The LA Saga really was a trolling event to end all trolling events. That showcased truly how dumb and narcissistic that cow, Lucas Werner, was. He ended up staying on Skid row. He is fortunate he made it back to Spokane alive. And the best part is he learned nothing from that. If someone tried to pull the same prank on him he would be on a plane to meet a zoomer bae.

I hope he posts a pic of the board game and Panda Express gift card soon.
 
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The LA Saga really was a trolling event to end all trolling events. That showcased truly how dumb and narcissistic that cow, Lucas Werner, was. He ended up staying on Skid row. He is fortunate he made it back to Spokane alive. And the best part is he leaned nothing from that. If someone tried to pull the same prank on him he would be on a plane to meet a zoomer bae.

I hope he posts a pic of the board game and Panda Express gift card soon.

The troll even registered a lap infant under the name "itsnotinthecards". And he still went.
 
The LA Saga was the climax of Wern Watching. I don’t condone going irl like that, but have no problem that someone (Big Cats, I think) did. While it’s doubtful it will ever get funnier than that, he learned absolutely nothing so another saga may still be in the cards.
Thats the funniest part about the whole thing. He went through with it even knowing about the lap infant and still learned nothing from what happened when he got there, apart from somebody, including his parents being willing to bail him out when he does something stupid. It could absolutely happen again and these days it would probably be easier cause lucas is getting more desperate and with the whole being able to make AI videos easily being a thing since then, lucas getting catfished to another big city after believing the 'proof' from an AI manufactured video to sent to prove the catfish was real would be peak wern. He'd be paranoid as fuck about everybody after that one

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We were talking about how suspicious it is that lucas was not bringing up the job stuff again a little while ago and surprise surprise, he suddenly brings it up again. He's very obviously reading here

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Says the guy with no significant other. Thats not how it works lucas and thats very black and white thinking of you. There are tons of couples and spouses that have differing political beliefs. Adults can learn to get along and accept these kinds of differences lucas. Thats part of what makes a relationship work and a sign that someone is mature enough to be in a relationship. The fact you posted this, unsurprisingly, proves you are not
 
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Says the guy with no significant other. Thats not how it works lucas and thats very black and white thinking of you. There are tons of couples and spouses that have differing political beliefs. Adults can learn to get along and accept these kinds of differences lucas. Thats part of what makes a relationship work and a sign that someone is mature enough to be in a relationship. The fact you posted this, unsurprisingly, proves you are not
"If more stuff given to you equals more love from you, you're cringe" cries Lucas who thinks he can woo a zoomer bae into his bedchamber with his EBT card, COVIDbux and free popcorn.
 
"If more stuff given to you equals more love from you, you're cringe" cries Lucas who thinks he can woo a zoomer bae into his bedchamber with his EBT card, COVIDbux and free popcorn.
Yeah, that post is way too on the nose. "More stuff = more love" is his ethos. It's exactly how he views relationships. I'm not sure how he thinks TBH. He's very aware of how people perceive him, but not aware of himself. It's like a reverse theory of mind thing going on in his head.
 
And Lucas is now big mad at some spastic girl at his group home who said she didn’t want a boyfriend, only to hook up with another guy there and become his girlfriend while he was at the hospital. Given the length of time between these posts and the previous ones after he left the hospital, I’m willing to bet that there were a lot of unanswered messages from Lucas and he only found out when he saw them together. I would’ve loved to have been a fly on the wall when he had a massive chimp out only to receive a stern warning from a big, burly nurse, leaving him to just sit there seething. Either that or him trying to hold in his emotions as he rushes to his room and then has a massive breakdown. Either way, it’s a shame that we missed actually seeing the aftermath. It’s funny how he doesn’t understand that simping after someone like that so hard after she’s told you she’s not interested is still a major red flag if they pick it up. And in this case, she must’ve done, despite being a retard herself. And I love how he says he’s not mad at the guy, all the while trashing on him for not being employed or how apparently he can’t offer her anything that Lucas can’t give her. Yeah, I’m sure she’s really missing out on not being able to eat any of that wernslop.
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And Lucas is now big mad at some spastic girl at his group home who said she didn’t want a boyfriend, only to hook up with another guy there and become his girlfriend while he was at the hospital. Given the length of time between these posts and the previous ones after he left the hospital, I’m willing to bet that there were a lot of unanswered messages from Lucas and he only found out when he saw them together. I would’ve loved to have been a fly on the wall when he had a massive chimp out only to receive a stern warning from a big, burly nurse, leaving him to just sit there seething. Either that or him trying to hold in his emotions as he rushes to his room and then has a massive breakdown. Either way, it’s a shame that we missed actually seeing the aftermath. It’s funny how he doesn’t understand that simping after someone like that so hard after she’s told you she’s not interested is still a major red flag if they pick it up. And in this case, she must’ve done, despite being a retard herself. And I love how he says he’s not mad at the guy, all the while trashing on him for not being employed or how apparently he can’t offer her anything that Lucas can’t give her. Yeah, I’m sure she’s really missing out on not being able to eat any of that wernslop.
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He's got some serious creepy stalker and groomer behavior and reactions going on in those posts. That shit makes him look really, really bad. Like mallon place needs to keep an eye on him when he's around her kind of bad. He's chimped out for a hell of a lot less than this in the past and if he wasn't doped to the gills I suspect he'd have already had his usual spastic chimpout and gone from the hospital to eastern state in record time

That said the entitlement in those posts is fucking through the roof. Screeching that she totally lied to him about not wanting a boyfriend because she got involved with someone that wasn't him? Yikes. Aside from the fact lucas clearly can't take a hint or even the most basic social cues as to how a woman who is creeped out by someone acts when hit on, hes got it in his head that if she were to change her mind about it he's automatically somehow the first in line and entitled to date her first. Thats seriously fucked up. and 'I don't hold him responsible, he didn't know' my ass. Lucas despises people who he thinks swoop his baes regardless of the reality of the situation. Lucas calling someone else a liar given he lies every time he opens his mouth and lied as recently as yesterday about claiming not to have MRSA is fucking rich.

By his own admission he's shaking internally because he's absolutely riddled with hate and anger over not getting any poonaner after 'going for walks' and giving her nursing home tier offerings of cigarettes, shampoo and prison tier gifts. You just know she had the deer in the headlights look when he called her beautiful and her freaked out body language went right over his head

Thats assuming any of this even happened and it isn't all in his head or something he made up. We know how lucas lies and turns tiny things into huge things that absolutely did not happen. Like the bus incident with the black girl where he admitted he was stalking her on the bus, staring at her creepily and counting out loud the number of times she looked at him scared shitless and took that as interest on her part, and then twisted that in his brain to give her a name and buying her lunch. Lucas makes $13 a month. He doesn't smoke. Where exactly did he get cigarettes in the first place? He also makes a point of not watching tv cause it makes the voices on the wind go into overdrive. and of course lucas outs himself as mr 'I got here first' who is entitled as fuck, doesn't understand how relationships work and views everything as insanely transactional with statements like 'he gives her nothing I can't give her' and 'and she did it a few days before my birthday! reee!.' I'm much more inclined to believe speaking to him at all was being nice and to avoid pissing off the mallonsquatch and causing a scene if not her being oblivious to his advances cause 95% of the shit he says never actually happened. His 'walk with her' in typical lucas fashion probably involved him following her around outside like a creepy kid on the playground and just as lucas used to do as a kid, when spotted he'd try to act busy with something else and make himself look even creepier and more stalkerish. His 'watching tv together' is textbook 'I was in the same room when she watched tv and was 10 feet away and never said anything' and his 'confidant' lunacy is lucas either making shit up entirely or assuming that she said she was pissed off at someone and he took that as confiding in him and being special for it

and holy fuck, calling the other guy out for 'not even being employed' just oozes stupidity and lack of self awareness. As always lucas believes that looking for work (or just claiming he is) is the same as being employed and makes him better than others. Calling her a 'traitor chick' raises all kinds of red flags and signals the start of the kind of inevitable meltdown lucas always works himself into sooner or later when he wants somebody. If she means nothing to him he wouldn't be ranting about it on the internet acting entitled and angry

Whatever the truth of the matter this has made it crystal clear lucas has reached the point of having become far too comfortable at mallon place for his own good and his old creepy stalker habits have begun showing toward residents, and probably a staff member or two as well. This isn't going to end well for anyone involved

That said, its lucas's birthday today, the wern is officially 45. Funny how he still hasn't said a word about what his parents supposedly had waiting for him
 
It's Wednesday, my dudes. Thanksgiving eve. One of my favorite Lucas memories was when Lucas had Thanksgiving at a homeless shelter or church and then got a box of food to go. He filmed himself leaving the box of food in front of a sleeping hobo on his walk back to the fart box apartment he was living in at the time.

I am almost sure he picked the box of food back up after he stopped filming and went back to the fart box.

Man, he is really seething over this group home girl running to another guy. And it sounds like this guy does not have a car or credit card. Probably wears a flatbill hat, tho! I could see Lucas having a chimpout and getting booted from Mallon if he isn't careful.

Edit: Found this on the Brokeposting Page. Those phantom gigglers really get to the cow.

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He's mooing about wanting people to give him money on his birthday to nobodies surprise. He's no doubt itching to stuff his face tonight and looking forward to tomorrows frozen tv dinner tier thanksgiving meal he'll no doubt demand multiple servings of

and he still isn't bragging about what his parents gave him. Makes me wonder if he was real disappointed in it and is pissed off. After all he brought it up before while in the hospital and was clearly looking forward to it. We all know how lucas pretends things he doesn't like or make him look bad don't exist
 
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He's mooing about wanting people to give him money on his birthday to nobodies surprise. He's no doubt itching to stuff his face tonight and looking forward to tomorrows frozen tv dinner tier thanksgiving meal he'll no doubt demand multiple servings of

and he still isn't bragging about what his parents gave him. Makes me wonder if he was real disappointed in it and is pissed off. After all he brought it up before while in the hospital and was clearly looking forward to it. We all know how lucas pretends things he doesn't like or make him look bad don't exist
He was probably expecting big and it turned out to be a $20 gift card or something to Doordash. I wonder what his parents could plausibly gift him outside of that. Most 45 year old men aren't in a position of their parents promising big birthday presents when returning from the hospital, but the options have to be limited to fast food gift cards or clothing.
 
He was probably expecting big and it turned out to be a $20 gift card or something to Doordash. I wonder what his parents could plausibly gift him outside of that. Most 45 year old men aren't in a position of their parents promising big birthday presents when returning from the hospital, but the options have to be limited to fast food gift cards or clothing.
They should have fucked with him by getting him a $25 steam card and a nice pair of diabetic socks. He'd have been fucking livid but couldn't have claimed they gave him nothing

On the other hand mallon place having some kind of public pc and lucas using said steam card to buy some creepy sex game would be a horrifying end to that scenario. Though knowing lucas he's try to trade the steam card for food
 
Wow, I hadn't put Lucas in one of my nice guy videos in a while because he's just been politics sperging but what a fucking nice guy he is. "Oh, I was there simping hardcore, I should have been first! He doesn't even have a job! Do I? No, but I'm looking for one vaguely. Give me my participation trophy sex already." Does he think it's normal to have to go be hospitalized for a week? That probably cost the taxpayers like 100 grand. Christ.
I don't even think buying someone a pack of cigarettes is normal friend behavior. That's like ten dollars in Washington. What a simp.
 
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