Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

Don't you know that, unlike zoomer favorite and oldest known argument for age-gap dating the Epic of Gilgamesh, yt-dlp is not a magic incantation only the wizened ancients can wield?

Edit: he appears to be recording this in a public bathroom.
 
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New video, nothing special just more telomere rambling.
This coming from the guy who failed remedial biology three times (twice in college and must have taken it in high school at some point and clearly failed it then as well)

His argument is contradicted by his very existence. King roy was older than myrna and look what that produced - lucas himself

and since lucas wants to rant about how long his telomeres are and how he's just filled to the brim with telomerase i'll just point this out:

3.1. Consumption of Specific Foods​

Telomere length is positively associated with the consumption of legumes, nuts, seaweed, fruits, and 100% fruit juice, dairy products, and coffee, whereas it is inversely associated with consumption of alcohol, red meat, or processed meat [27,28,33,34]. Telomere attrition may represent a mechanism by which large sugar intake accelerates cardiometabolic disease [35]. Several studies suggest that reducing sugary beverage consumption could be associated with extended telomere length, independently of other characteristics such as age, sex, or body mass index [26,27,28]. Those results indicate that leukocyte telomere length maintenance may be sensitive to the metabolic effects of high sugar consumption over time [26]. Leung et al. examined the associations between the consumption of sugar-sweetened beverages (including soda, soft drinks, fruit-flavored drinks, sports drinks, and energy drinks), diet soda, fruit juice, and leukocyte telomere length in 5309 adults aged 20–65 years from the United States without any history of diabetes or cardiovascular disease [28]. After adjustment for sociodemographic and health-related characteristics, the consumption of sugar-sweetened beverages was associated with shorter telomeres, whereas the consumption of 100% fruit juice was associated with a higher telomere length. No significant association was observed between consumption of diet soda and telomere length [28]. As cross-sectional study may not be the most appropriate study design to assess telomere length, more recently, the same group conducted a longitudinal study to evaluate the associations between sugary foods and beverages and leukocyte telomere length in 65 overweight and obese pregnant women aged between 18 and 45 years. From ≤16 weeks gestation to 9 months postpartum, dietary intake was monitored using 24-h diet recalls and leukocyte telomere length was measured by real-time quantitative polymerase chain reaction (qPCR). From the baseline to 9 months post-partum, a low consumption of sugar-sweetened beverages was associated with longer leukocyte telomere length but no association was found between sugary foods and leukocyte telomere length [26].

I guess lucas better lay off the $100 steaks, MD 20/20, hobo mystery meat and energy drinks then. Perhaps he'll start claiming that he has super powerful telomeres because he likes his starbucks and eats 5lb bricks of cheese at a time

and then theres this

3.2. Diet Composition​

While it is important to be aware of the effects of individual foods, it is even more critical to assess the role of cumulative nutrients contained in specific diets on telomere length, which better reflects reality. In 2015, Lee et al. compared the influence of the dietary pattern on leukocyte telomere length [27]. Dietary data were collected from a semi-quantitative food frequency questionnaire at baseline and leukocyte telomere length was assessed using qPCR 10 years later. A total of 1958 middle-aged and older Korean adults (40–69 years at baseline) were included in the study. The authors identified two major dietary patterns: “the prudent dietary pattern” was characterized by a high intake of whole grains, fish and seafood, legumes, vegetables, and seaweed, whereas the “western dietary pattern” included a high intake of refined grain, red meat or processed meat, and sweetened carbonated beverages. Using a multiple linear regression model adjusted for age, sex, body mass index, and other potential confounding variables, the “prudent dietary pattern” was found to be positively associated with leukocyte telomere length while an inverse trend was found in the “western dietary pattern”. These results suggest that diet in the remote past, that is, 10 years earlier, may affect the degree of biological aging in middle-aged and older adults [27].

One of the best models of healthy eating is the Mediterranean diet which is characterized by a high intake of vegetables, legumes, nuts, fruits, and cereals (mainly unrefined); a moderate to high intake of fish; a low intake of saturated lipids but high intake of unsaturated lipids, particularly olive oil; a regular but moderate intake of alcohol, specifically wine [38]. This diet has been shown to prevent age-associated telomere shortening [29,30,39] and has been associated with reduced mortality risk in older people [40]. The possible mechanisms for the protective effect of the Mediterranean diet on telomeres will be discussed in the next section. In 4676 healthy women (42–70 years), the higher scores on the Mediterranean diet, evaluated by food frequency questionnaires, were associated with longer leukocyte telomere length [30]. In the same study, no association between prudent or western dietary patterns and telomere length was observed [30], while a prudent diet was previously found to be positively and a western diet negatively associated with leukocyte telomere length in 1958 middle-aged and older women and men [27]. Similarly, in 217 men and women aged 71–87 years, a greater adherence to a Mediterranean diet was associated with longer leukocyte telomere length and higher PBMC telomerase activity [29]. However, a recent study in 679 Australian men and women (57–68 years) found no association between diet quality and whole blood telomere length, including the Mediterranean diet. In this study, the authors assessed the dietary intake by using a 111-item food frequency questionnaire, which assessed self-reported intake of foods and beverages over the last 6 months, and the diet quality by three indices: the Dietary Guideline Index (DGI), the Recommended Food Score (RFS), and the Mediterranean Diet Score (MDS) [41]. Whole blood telomere length did not differ by age, smoking status, BMI, or physical activity but women had longer telomeres than men [41]. The discrepant results between studies could be explained by the use of different questionnaires to assess the diet quality and/or the populations studied. Longitudinal studies may be more suitable to determine the potential positive influence of diet on telomere health.

Of note, in animal models, calorie restriction has been shown to have a positive effect on telomere length [42] and to globally delay the onset of aging and age-related disease such as diabetes, cardiovascular diseases, various neurological disorders, cancer, and obesity [43,44], possibly via a reduction in oxidative stress [45,46]. In humans, the data are less convincing, probably because decreasing the caloric intake by a third or a half is very challenging in that population, certainly in the long-term.

Having presented which foods and diets were potentially beneficial for telomere health in general, the next section will attempt to summarize the mechanisms involved in those effects.

In other words lucas's diet isn't doing him any favors for his telomeres

mothman96 said:
2:58 am Spokane
Now thinks that perfume is 'aged' and 'fermented' he clearly doesn't have the slightest idea what perfume is or how its made. Many cheeses are not aged and alcohol is distilled or fermented. Most of it is not aged, and the stuff that is i've never seen a zoomer touch in my life. Not that it matters as drinking vodka and eating cheese does not mean you are being some kind of hypocrite by not fucking the looney hobo

He's talking like a textbook schizophrenic seeing nonsensical patterns in things

mothman96 said:
At 3:45am Spokane time
If you pray to god that somehow makes him your servant. In other words he doesn't have a clue how prayer is supposed to work. He's also clearly reading here and doesn't like it being pointed out that he's being greedy and treating said god he claims not to believe in like a servant. His mentality here says alot about how he views people who enable him. No doubt he sees whoever his tard wrangler and payee are as his servants as well, and his parents. Pure greed, entitlement and narcissism on his part

mothman96 said:
At 4:06am Spokane time
Theres all these videos on the internet that tell you what to say to women huh. In other words lucas admits he watches PUA videos on youtube

and holy shit he thinks ancient greeks lived to their 80s on average and that somehow the spanish flu nearly wiped out our species. He couldn't even get the year right on that one. and dracula is not a metaphor for age gap breeding, dracula is depicted as a literal parasite preying on the young and the weak. Much like you do lucas

He doesn't see the irony of saying there are many times mankind was wrong but refusing to accept being told he's wrong under any circumstances without spazzing out. Lead pipes are not radioactive lucas and they worked just fine for thousands of years. Nobody believes lead pipes had anything to do with the fall of rome, nor is solar power 'readaily available' or 'better for the environment' he needs to take a good look at where the materials for those solar cells come from and how poor their efficiency is. Burning anything isn't good for the environment either lucas

Also lol at the when you preach against greed you show people you're not greedy. That isn't how it works at all lucas. It just shows you're a blatant hypocrite who rants about everyone else being greedy for not giving you what you want when acting incredibly entitled and greedy yourself. and all that stuff about anti gay preachers turning out to be gay is a real big red flag considering lucas rants about how he's totally not a creep or pedo despite being a proven creep and having admitted to being a pedo multiple times publicly and who has openly advertised his pedo behavior and been caught soliciting and grooming underage girls multiple times

and of course lucas is one of those retards who thinks jesus the person didn't exist. Thats fringe of the fringe lunacy territory. There are both roman and non roman sources discussing him from the era. Doesn't mean he wasn't some nut who thought he was the son of a god but hat kind of crazy isn't exactly uncommon. Jesus the person absolutely existed, as any halfway competent historian will point out. Lucas claiming no body = jesus wasn't real is pure idiocy. We don't have the bodies of cleopatra, alexander the great, any roman emperor and a large number of historical monarchs either. The average person of his era didn't leave a body that would last thousands of years, let alone an identifiable grave. Bodies almost always break down eventually, ancient skeletons are rarer than people seem to think and are usually the result of the conditions they were buried in. That lucas seems to expect a grave somewhere in the middle east that says here lies jesus with an identifiable body shows how utterly stupid he is. Sure a few get mummified, frozen or petrified cause of the conditions but thats a fluke. and 15 other religions? wtf is he on about? Theres alot from the jews in it but everybody knows that. Somehow I doubt they were stealing stories from 15 pagan religions of the time. That would have been noticed pretty quickly considering how different the religions of the time were to what they were practicing. Hell that difference was a big part of the reason the romans refused to tolerate christianity and persecuted it so harshly

and holy shit gen x and zoomers get along cause we're linked at the pituitary gland is a really bizarre thing to say even for lucas, particularly while rocking back and forth like an autistic child

Lucas going back to college to take an ancient history course only to get thrown out for going on some looney rant about how the ancient greeks all lived to their 80s cause aristotle, plato and socrates were fucking the 15 year old helots on the side would be quite the sight to behold. He could start the revised mediterranean diet - eat lots of olives, whole grains, olive oil, fresh vegetables and fuck teen girls constantly. Definitely a diet he would like. He'd probably call it extending the olive branch to gen z

VoidFace said:
Yeah he has been up all night ranting. These start at around 4:41 AM his time:
Er....did he just try to claim that cappuccinos are aged? He clearly hasn't figured out that The things he's listing are rarely aged and the ones that are are specific types of each. Perfumes aren't aged at all. and he clearly hasn't hear of artificial diamonds. Nor does liking diamonds mean you want to fuck middle aged hobos. Nor are diamonds aged in the way he's trying to imply. His looney arguments are like saying you put salt on your fries therefore you want to fuck a middle aged salt miner. Water is old too lucas, are you going to start claiming that everyone has age inside of them cause their bodies are mostly made of water? That the planet is full of age and promotes age gap breeding cause its surface is mostly water? Oh and fish live in water, guess that means they should fuck middle aged men too right? Careful lucas, don't get your cock stabbed with the spines when you try to fuck that catfish. We know how you love doing that

VoidFace said:
Round 5 AM:
First, poetry is far older than 5,000 years. thats just an example of the oldest surviving written poetry. People have been telling stories and making up poetry for as long as language has existed. But liking poetry does not mean you're being a hypocrite for not fucking middle aged men. Thats absolute psycho talk. and going from talking about the epic of gilgamesh to ranting about sperm is straight up looney

VoidFace said:
We can add light to the things lucas doesn't understand. He literally made the argument that light makes you see! you like that! therefore you should fuck me! Even by the most incel of incel standards thats a seriously fucked up thing to say. He's definitely having a manic episode. The fuck is going on at mallon place that this guy is allowed to fuck around in the bathroom at 5am, making all kinds of noise and ranting about light making teen girls want to fuck him? Thats disruptive as fuck and could piss alot of residents off. Also says alot that even at 5am, indoors he's keeping his headphones on him

Spunt said:
No Lucas, you just smell like cheese and alcohol.

Well, you only smell of alcohol when you have money. Right now your penury is the only thing keeping you alive, because you'd destroy your liver in a week if you could afford it.
a week? He'd speedrun leaving las vegas faster than that if given the chance. Though I suspect the sequel leaving mallon place, with lucas drinking himself to death in a few days via MD 20/20 and energy drinks until his kidneys exploded while bribing a teen hooker with $13 worth of gas station pepsticks to listen to his hitler-tier rambling about telomeres and how the world was out to destroy him and keep him from breeding the ubermensch wouldn't get quite the same reviews the original did
 
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Lucas has officially been up all night posting videos. I expected some sleep at some point, but nope. 100% a manic episode. I wonder if this ends with screaming and a trip to the puzzle factory. I haven't even watched these yet, I can't keep up. I've downloaded as many as possible:

ETA: finally started watching them, and I have a new favorite Wern thought, "these women are going to bars...and they're just there to drink, which is stupid. Why would you go to a bar to drink?"

Why would you go to a place for drinking so you can drink and hang out with your friends? On that note: why the fuck would you go to a baseball field to watch a baseball game?!

Oh and Lucas talks some shit on his "wingman" for being autistic. Let's set aside the fact Lucas is 100% on the spectrum: he's making fun of a fellow autist who has a girlfriend.
 
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Lucas Werner the Mallon Place Creeper -- Psalm 92:14 applies to the righteous planted in the house of the Lord. You are far from being righteous and certainly not planted in the house of the Lord. So psalm 92:14 in no way applies to you-- malignant POS Creep.

Psalm 92:12-14
1736961570818.png


 
Lucas has officially been up all night posting videos. I expected some sleep at some point, but nope. 100% a manic episode. I wonder if this ends with screaming and a trip to the puzzle factory. I haven't even watched these yet, I can't keep up. I've downloaded as many as possible:

ETA: finally started watching them, and I have a new favorite Wern thought, "these women are going to bars...and they're just there to drink, which is stupid. Why would you go to a bar to drink?"

Why would you go to a place for drinking so you can drink and hang out with your friends? On that note: why the fuck would you go to a baseball field to watch a baseball game?!

Oh and Lucas talks some shit on his "wingman" for being autistic. Let's set aside the fact Lucas is 100% on the spectrum: he's making fun of a fellow autist who has a girlfriend.
Figures lucas would brag about drinking pabst of all things, like a poor, blue collar republican after a day working on a construction site

and holy shit claiming 'richard' didn't get the bae because he didn't use lucas's magic pickup line. and claiming women don't get approached much in bars? How many beers did he have to get that idea in his head? Plus he immediately contradicts himself by claiming he knows men that approach women constantly and get shot down every time and lucas can't understand why. He can't keep his lies straight

and nobody calls libraries the atheist church except lucas. Lucas is claiming men who hit on your woman while you're there are fuckwads who deserve to get a beat down? Lucas himself has bragged about wanting to do just that if you brought a woman around to his fartbox. By his own logic lucas deserves a beatdown

I'm not saying that you should be violent but i'm saying if you're there with your woman and some dude talks to your woman with you there....well thats kind of an invite to violence isn't it? its kind of a recipe for a revolution - lucas werner, january 15 2025. What was that about not preaching violence again lucas? Cause that sounds an awful lot like you're trying to justify assaulting people

Now he's really fucking losing it - going on about old trees and young squirrels dependent on old trees. Squirrels and trees! intergenerational pattern! ree!

What a wackjob

Also peep this lawn ffs
 
Nope, I don't believe he's been going to bars (more than once) recently as he claims in the "Misandry and More Stupid Women Sh*t" video. The only time he has gone to a bar is with the wingman Sat the 11th at 6pm.

ETA:
1736965989163.png

Well Creep you read and can't do anything about the comments here at KF, at Wernology's channel, Fatal Walters and other channels that post your insanity.
 
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New video, nothing special just more telomere rambling.
Okay, this is so spectacularly retarded I have to point it out. He compares fruiting plants to age-gap relationships because “pollination occurs in spring, and the fruit drops in the fall.”

To anybody who isn’t insane, that “gap in the summer for growing” he mentions is obviously just the gestation period that occurs after fertilization. It has nothing to do with the age of the plants involved. I get that he’s a schizo, but Jesus Christ. You’d think he’d at least have a basic grasp of the reproductive process, given how obsessed with it he is. It’s all just magical symbolism to him.

EDIT: actually even as symbolism it’s retarded. If anything, the fruit falling is like the plant “giving birth” rather than an old man spraying telomerase everywhere.
 
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Hey hey, did anyone miss the Wern giving us his toddler level ideas about governance and statecraft? If so, here you go:
The return of Freiherr von Werner zu Spokanewald is upon us I see. Why the hell would you appoint actual noble titles as a lottery ffs. Not that any of his lunacy makes sense or is a good idea but why wouldn't such a system simply stick with existing titles like governor?

and decrees by their very concept are not ideas that have to be voted on or get the consent of others. Thats literally why they're called decrees. They are simply stating 'this is how it is and whats going to happen'

The 'system' he is describing (if you can even call it that, all his idea is constitutes voting in a baron who has no actual power except putting ideas to vote and getting kicked out if people don't like it, not an actual government, and I might add is exactly how the prime minister works in canada and the UK with those no confidence votes that force a federal election. Its a disruptive, unstable, shitty system) isn't even a system and would be incredibly chaotic and impossible to manage

Lots of projecting going on in this video. Of course he loves the idea of being called king lucas and following in king roys regal footsteps. In reality, deep down he knows he'd never even be fit to be count of the local set of public bathrooms and couldn't be trusted to keep them clean and stocked with toilet paper

This whole idea sounds an awful lot like the lunacy he comes up with for his games as well

That said, when I opened the video in youtube I almost spit out my drink when I noticed what popped up on the recommended bar on this video:
wernpred.jpg

Teen girl predators indeed. The universe really does have a sense of humor apparently. Youtubes algorithm was spot on with associating teen girl predators with lucas like that. Reminds me of all that stuff about google using AI and it noticing real interesting patterns. If thats whats going on with that recommendation and AI software is clocking lucas as a predator after teen girls from his uploads then fucking lol at lucas being called out like that. Its even funnier when you remember lucas was just talking about squirrels and all that shit in his rant videos
 
That was really the climax of Wern Watching, imo. I don’t think it’ll ever get funnier than that.
The climax of that was really him getting back to spokane and immediately getting catfished again to the point of having that frozen catfish delivered to his door. You'd think even someone as stupid as lucas would be a little more cautious if only for a very short time, after being lucky enough to get rescued from a situation that could easily have ended with him in jail or killed by some crackhead on skid row. It speaks volumes about how stupid lucas truly is that he immediately jumped on the next catfish the moment he got back to spokane. He is completely lacking common sense and a self preservation instinct. I still won't be surprised if he ends up on the wrong end of one of those TCAP wannabe youtuber stings at some point. There are enough of those around that it won't be too unexpected if it happens, lucas is exactly the kind of idiot creeper that gets targeted in those sorts of stings

If it ever happens I wonder if lucas is stupid enough to call the cops on himself trying to get the cops to protect him from the pedo hunters and fucking himself over in the process
 
The climax of that was really him getting back to spokane and immediately getting catfished again to the point of having that frozen catfish delivered to his door. You'd think even someone as stupid as lucas would be a little more cautious if only for a very short time, after being lucky enough to get rescued from a situation that could easily have ended with him in jail or killed by some crackhead on skid row. It speaks volumes about how stupid lucas truly is that he immediately jumped on the next catfish the moment he got back to spokane. He is completely lacking common sense and a self preservation instinct. I still won't be surprised if he ends up on the wrong end of one of those TCAP wannabe youtuber stings at some point. There are enough of those around that it won't be too unexpected if it happens, lucas is exactly the kind of idiot creeper that gets targeted in those sorts of stings

If it ever happens I wonder if lucas is stupid enough to call the cops on himself trying to get the cops to protect him from the pedo hunters and fucking himself over in the process
100% agreed. While I totally agree with the rule of leaving lolcows to their own devices (especially when there was a real chance of actual harm), this was hilariousssss and the entire story arc deserves an, at least, 1 hour long @Fatal Walter breakdown. Every single part of this story is more mind bending, ridiculous, and insane than the last. We all know Lucas is a moron, but HOW did he not see this is a catfish? A millionaire teen girl wants to fly you out and put you up at the Ritz and then get you a job?? You still get on the plane when somebody registers you with a lap infant called "itsnotinthecards Werner"?? Also the fact that he did all this without showering for days/weeks and had no money with him to get home. Just unreal.
 
His only relationship lasted about a year and a half and ended with the Creep convicted of domestic violence. Thankfully no woman will ruin her life by marrying the abusive Creeper-Lucas Werner

“I don’t know if it’s determined by the sperm or the egg what the sex is, but I think it’s just random.”
-Doctor Nigga Lucas Werner, reproductive expert
 
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