8/16/24 - Rekieta Attack Dog Begins Epic Journey to Minnesota
In another 5d chess move that will surely not blow up in his face,
Ralph has decided to go to the Rekieta court hearings in person.
Ralph, while explaining how he is going to get to Minnesota, reveals he cannot take a direct flight there because
he lost his Passport at the border from his previous trip to see his son:
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Ralph later
reveals his plan to attack Kiwis by filming and "face doxing" them as they walk into the court room:
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And even plans to follow them to their cars:
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Any Farmers planning to go to the hearing should be alerted that there will be a wild, sweaty hog roaming the parking lot armed to the teeth with a selfie stick and a purse that may bring minor discomfort if used as a weapon.
If you find yourself being attacked by a grouchy, retarded hog-goblin, please consider one the following maneuvers:
Toss a fast food burger away from you and the court house
Ask it how it would feel if it hadn't eaten breakfast today
Shake a pill bottle at its face while walking towards the court house
Point behind him and exclaim that "Harry Morris" is present
Start shouting his ex-wife and daughters name
Bring a tape measure and threaten to record his height live on the Killstream if he gets too close
If all else fails, remember that Minnesota is a Duty to Retreat state, and that any pace faster than a brisk walk should be more than enough to outpace the hog.
The stream ends with Ralphs final message to Kiwi Farms Administrator Joshua Moon before scamming chat out of a promised movie night in order to plan his border hopping escapades:
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