Containment Random Thoughts & Questions

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chrisc said:
What happens when Chris dies
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In the grand scheme of things, not much will happen. It probably won't even make the news unless a very niche news outlet happens to be having a very slow news day and wants to run a clickbait-y headline about the death of "The Most Documented Man on the Internet".

The kiwitubers will, of course, all put out videos where they babble for 30 minutes or so while providing no additional information just to cash in.

If his death is a suicide, then some commentators will performatively wail about how he was "cyberbullied" and how this is all the trolls' fault.

But most notably, Classic Era Chris™ will live on for eternity. As Chris himself found out the hard way, the internet is forever. Even though Chris is no longer actively doing entertaining things (and, of course, he won't be able to do anything after he dies), we can still go back and listen to him participate in his "SingStar" competition with Liquid Chris, we can still watch his half-assed cosplay that he did for Jackie, we can still recoil in horror when he burns his house down.

Because of all of the media that he made available, Chris will never truly die.
That statement was meant to sound vaguely inspirational, but it's coming across vaguely ominous instead.
 
Acoustic Virgin said:
If his death is a suicide, then some commentators will performatively wail about how he was "cyberbullied" and how this is all the trolls' fault.
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When he dies I think it will be by some stupid shit, like he jumps off a bridge thinking he can fly or something, so i think the suicide allegations will be something that happens in all cases
 
chrisc said:
What happens when Chris dies
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I would think it would depend on who he has around him. We might not find out for a week after it happens, especially if Caden finally boots him. It could be he passes on with no family or friends around, most likely a heart attack given all of Bob's issues, and might just collapse on the floor and no one finds him until his body rots enough to really smell. Then he's scraped up and given a pauper's burial or cremated.

The heart attack route seems to be quickly approaching. Bob had like four, and a pacemaker, but then again he had a family and people he worked with, so someone would notice pretty quickly. Chris? Depends who's around. Caden could travel somewhere, Flutter not being around, and he could just keel over. Caden might even be as shady to hide the fact he died, and keep putting out pre-recorded videos Chris had made, or else start selling all his shit after making a big deal about Chris dying. I wouldn't put it past Caden to know full well about Chris's health and banking on Chris dying before he's 50.

I doubt it would make any mainstream news but the internet would eventually find out. There will probably carpetbaggers that will make horrible videos about how Chris was cyberbullied or people making memorials out of his videos.
 
ToroidalBoat said:
It is because that fatass ate at McD's more or less daily. I think it's been that way since Barb ragequit cooking over that spaghetti.
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I would give anything to have been a fly on the wall watching Bard sperg about fucking spaghetti.
Debbie Macomber said:
In one of the Kacey calls, Chris admitted to being on Lipitor at 27!

So I doubt his heart health has improve at 43
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Is it sad that Chris succumbing to heart failure isn't the least depressing way his story could end?
 
BubbaRobot887 said:
I would just like to say that the idea he doesn't know right from wrong his bullshit
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I think "Chris Chan" may be genuinely evil. Or at least a jerk.

King Metalia said:
I would give anything to have been a fly on the wall watching Bard sperg about fucking spaghetti.
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Just because Chob weren't hungry that one night -- after moving back from keeping "Honor Roll" out of special ed the loony bin during high school -- Barb never cooked again, which may have resulted in "Honor Roll" ballooning. And even with him getting fat from almost daily fast food, Barb still didn't change her mind, and stuck to that grudge...
 
Debbie Macomber said:
In one of the Kacey calls, Chris admitted to being on Lipitor at 27!

So I doubt his heart health has improve at 43
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Did you get to the part where he has a "dissociative episode" and he talks to Kaycee like he is Reldnach or "evil Chris"??

Oh the Kaycee calls are a gold mine. I love them so much! And the best one is father call: I listened to it when I'm feeling down and always cheers me up.
 
King Metalia said:
I would give anything to have been a fly on the wall watching Bard sperg about fucking spaghetti.
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I bet it was something as stupid as Chris and Bob coming home tired after moving, and Barb wanting some "family dinner" after they all got back together but the boys were too exhausted and Barb took at as some kind of huge insult that she kept bringing up for years afterwards about how nobody appreciated her.
 
ToroidalBoat said:
I imagine Barb being like that also contributed to "Honor Roll"'s ego and "victim complex" getting fatter.
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I was thinking about that the other day, about how Barb only married Bob because he owned a home, and how she's pretty worthless, like Chris, but still has the presence of mind to understand that. Bob out working, bringing home the big money, Barb barely doing anything at all, both Bob and Chris not caring, hence the repeated "appreciation" shit that would come out of that family. I think you're right that Chris picked that up in the most retarded way possible.
 
Tennis-Ball-Tony said:
I bet it was something as stupid as Chris and Bob coming home tired after moving, and Barb wanting some "family dinner" after they all got back together but the boys were too exhausted and Barb took at as some kind of huge insult that she kept bringing up for years afterwards about how nobody appreciated her.
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She also spitefully refused ever to cook again, even though I imagine she was damn near useless at it (and everything else other than filling the house with Barbage floor to ceiling) even before then.
ToroidalBoat said:
I imagine Barb being like that also contributed to "Honor Roll"'s ego and "victim complex" getting fatter.
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There's also the fact they were so dumb about the Internet they literally thought the people around the world fucking with Chris were a local conspiracy.
 
chrisc said:
Do you ever think that Chris will detransition? Personally I think it's a slim chance but I also still think for some reason that it's something he'd do
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Pfft. Yeah because Chris was legit trans the whole time.

Chris is going to turn into whatever might score him pussy and if Flutter wants frumpy and boring, frumpy and boring she's going to get
 
chrisc said:
What happens when Chris dies
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I’m guessing it’ll be sort of like the death of Wesley Willis, although unlike him Chris has a sordid past and thanks to internet culture is way more (in)famous.

But in general they’ll probably be some random minor newspaper reports of ‘Creator of Sonichu dies’ with a few indie documentaries in the following year that will likely try to make it out as if Chris was an innocent angel and that trolls and society failing him is to blame for everything bad that ever happened in his life.

I think he’s too notorious for any mainstream documentary and the combination of Chris being autistic and identifying as trans will make any serious documentary maker want to absolutely avoid the topic but he’ll live on in internet culture.
Acoustic Virgin said:
Is Chris actually lazy, self-centered, and hedonistic? Or is his mind just stuck at the level of a child?

Reading some of the email exchanges between Chris and the trolls, he comes across as a lazy jerk if you picture him at his actual age, but I keep reminding myself that he is retarded. His brain is broken. If he is stuck at the mental age of, say, an 8-year-old, then his actions make a lot more sense. You can't expect a third grader to be able to prepare meals, manage money, and certainly not undo the mess being made by a house full of hoarders with who-knows what other issues of their own.

The rebuttal to that is the fact that other retards have been able to learn to accomplish these tasks, but the distinction there is that they have been taught to do so. Chris never got that education. His parents refused to send him to special ed where he would have been taught many different life skills that the rest of us pick up naturally -- and they certainly didn't teach him any of this themselves. The most he got was Kasey shrieking at him and Jackie sneaking in life lessons in between cosplay "assignments". It's no wonder he's unable to function as an adult if he's nothing more than an adult-shaped child.
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Hasn’t Chris been pretty much living independently ever since moving into Caden’s house? Also I don’t think an actual slow in the mind with the mental age of a child would be flying off to Finland on their lonesome.

Chris’s main issue from what I can tell is his extremely poor theory of mind, but Chris can be very scheming and manipulative, he just doesn’t seem to be capable of understanding things from another person’s perspective so it usually comes across as laughably immature.

For example in an attempt to stop Null and Bella from sharing that he had sex with his mother Chris declared it was a spiritual test that they keep that secret to themselves, not realising that nobody else considers him to be the reincarnation of Jesus or an all powerful goddess but it also happens to be a technique that an actual cult leader would use to keep followers in check, to proclaim a member needs to keep a secret as a test of faith with the implicit threat of facing ostracisation from the group if they don’t.
 
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The sonic boom episode that supposedly is based loosely on Chris, (mark the tapir episode) is currently free on youtube. It's almost surreal going back to that episode now after everything he's done both since and even before it aired.


The writers have side stepped around straight up admitting they knew just who Chris is and have claimed mark was based more on geeky fanboy archetypes in general, but there's so much in that episode from mark's design, to the mentions to orange soda, to even a hint at the blarms saga that was going on with Chris at the time. That you can't help but feel like they must have taken at least a cursory look at the Chris chan story for inspiration.
 
ToroidalBoat said:
It is because that fatass ate at McD's more or less daily. I think it's been that way since Barb ragequit cooking over that spaghetti.
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Well, spaghetti is the easiest meal to make and Babs acted like it made her a gourmet chef.

It probably looked nasty and that's why they wouldn't eat it.

I mean, Chris made a passable Thanksgiving for someone of his ...ability. So is it any big surprise the woman who keeps a cluttered house- and kitchen- likely can't cook and so gave up after one attempt when Bob and Chris moved back in.

She's such a hardworking person, just like Chris!
 
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