- Joined
- Jun 11, 2020
I miss the time when i believed that was true.
Containment Random Thoughts & Questions
- Thread starter champthom
- Start date
Acoustic Virgin
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2025
In the grand scheme of things, not much will happen. It probably won't even make the news unless a very niche news outlet happens to be having a very slow news day and wants to run a clickbait-y headline about the death of "The Most Documented Man on the Internet".
The kiwitubers will, of course, all put out videos where they babble for 30 minutes or so while providing no additional information just to cash in.
If his death is a suicide, then some commentators will performatively wail about how he was "cyberbullied" and how this is all the trolls' fault.
But most notably, Classic Era Chris™ will live on for eternity. As Chris himself found out the hard way, the internet is forever. Even though Chris is no longer actively doing entertaining things (and, of course, he won't be able to do anything after he dies), we can still go back and listen to him participate in his "SingStar" competition with Liquid Chris, we can still watch his half-assed cosplay that he did for Jackie, we can still recoil in horror when he burns his house down.
Because of all of the media that he made available, Chris will never truly die.
That statement was meant to sound vaguely inspirational, but it's coming across vaguely ominous instead.
- Joined
- Jul 1, 2025
When he dies I think it will be by some stupid shit, like he jumps off a bridge thinking he can fly or something, so i think the suicide allegations will be something that happens in all cases
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2015
I would think it would depend on who he has around him. We might not find out for a week after it happens, especially if Caden finally boots him. It could be he passes on with no family or friends around, most likely a heart attack given all of Bob's issues, and might just collapse on the floor and no one finds him until his body rots enough to really smell. Then he's scraped up and given a pauper's burial or cremated.
The heart attack route seems to be quickly approaching. Bob had like four, and a pacemaker, but then again he had a family and people he worked with, so someone would notice pretty quickly. Chris? Depends who's around. Caden could travel somewhere, Flutter not being around, and he could just keel over. Caden might even be as shady to hide the fact he died, and keep putting out pre-recorded videos Chris had made, or else start selling all his shit after making a big deal about Chris dying. I wouldn't put it past Caden to know full well about Chris's health and banking on Chris dying before he's 50.
I doubt it would make any mainstream news but the internet would eventually find out. There will probably carpetbaggers that will make horrible videos about how Chris was cyberbullied or people making memorials out of his videos.
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2022
In one of the Kacey calls, Chris admitted to being on Lipitor at 27!
So I doubt his heart health has improve at 43
- Joined
- Mar 29, 2014
It is because that fatass ate at McD's more or less daily. I think it's been that way since Barb ragequit cooking over that spaghetti.
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2021
I would give anything to have been a fly on the wall watching Bard sperg about fucking spaghetti.
Is it sad that Chris succumbing to heart failure isn't the least depressing way his story could end?
- Joined
- Mar 29, 2014
I think "Chris Chan" may be genuinely evil. Or at least a jerk.
Just because Chob weren't hungry that one night -- after moving back from keeping "Honor Roll" out of
- Joined
- Mar 19, 2022
Did you get to the part where he has a "dissociative episode" and he talks to Kaycee like he is Reldnach or "evil Chris"??
Oh the Kaycee calls are a gold mine. I love them so much! And the best one is father call: I listened to it when I'm feeling down and always cheers me up.
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2015
I bet it was something as stupid as Chris and Bob coming home tired after moving, and Barb wanting some "family dinner" after they all got back together but the boys were too exhausted and Barb took at as some kind of huge insult that she kept bringing up for years afterwards about how nobody appreciated her.
- Joined
- Mar 29, 2014
I imagine Barb being like that also contributed to "Honor Roll"'s ego and "victim complex" getting fatter.
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2015
I was thinking about that the other day, about how Barb only married Bob because he owned a home, and how she's pretty worthless, like Chris, but still has the presence of mind to understand that. Bob out working, bringing home the big money, Barb barely doing anything at all, both Bob and Chris not caring, hence the repeated "appreciation" shit that would come out of that family. I think you're right that Chris picked that up in the most retarded way possible.