random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[CEO of Pickles]

We're grown ass men in this establishment. We put on our big boy pants and say the nigger word.

Just drink the piss you big baby.

 

[Pedophobe]

It’s fucking sickening and depressing in equal measure.

Wait you're serious and not just taking the piss?

somebody is gonna make that meme and its gonna be great

Fat. Will not sex.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Ok which one of you went to his house and lit the crosses on fire? Cause you didnt invite me and im upset you got all the fun.

As much as I hate him, imagining him full of childlike joy almost brought a tear to my eye. Unfortunately the only thing he does not allow himself is happiness.

I think he's trying to be clever.

This is the gayest thing I have ever read in my entire life. Both these mongoloids should be fedposted immediately.

(I have come to believe that pat is legitimately gay, and I'm working on my own schizo unified fat faggot theory to prove it.)

Just because he got a win in this doesn't mean he's not still a huge faggot, and it's a bit of a dick move. It's still fucking hilarious.

I thought only Americans liked lifting trucks? How could the Japanese do this?!?!? Why don't they ride the train?!?!?

"Nooo child, I am not a bad driver. The vehicle in front of me merely threw a banana peel out their window."

 

[Blackhole]

a second discussion on sexuality and fetishes has hit the thread about laughing at furries

this is why your life is just beginning, friend. enjoy freedom.

It's 2024 and I'm seriously trying to work out how much a nigger costs.

does Anus piss

 

[Free Dick Pills]

With Austin I can take a bathroom break and watch him go from debt free with a car to ruined by the time I reach for the toilet paper.

 

[Breadbear]

storing used diapers in her refrigerator to keep them fresh for resale

 

[Tablet County]

I don't know how you masturbate to Symposium.

There’s no such thing as incels, just men I haven’t raped yet.

 

[(The REAL) Jack Torrance]

To be frank, having a more aesthetically pleasing ballsack isn't going to magically solve everything.

post

 

[WelperHelper99]

>He can't have opinions, he does Adderal!
Nigga, Hitler was on crack and he was the greatest man who ever lived.

I laughed my ass off

 

[Tablet County]

In Memoriam

religion should be treated much like your genitals. Not something that should ever be forced on anyone and inappropriate to whip out at school.

What if you watch cuck porn just to imagine yourself as the bull? Checkmate liberals

What is so cool about Lana del Rey? Her nosejob is a crime against humanity.

is it cuck porn to watch BMJ sex your mom?

 

[National Defense Advocate]

I laughed my ass off

I thoroughly enjoyed how angry that made some of them lmao

 

[Would]

I'm not "fully" gay,

 

[Dr. Eldon Tyrell]

Well at least I'm full which can't be said for most of my countrymen...

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

I really hate hippies

Wait, the nitrous mafia is real?

(Note: If you don't know who Jerry Springer is, discontinue using this website you underage fool.)

When I think about saving the environment, I think about jacking off in the ladies' room.

Oh I see it was "the blacks" that made you all lie to yourselves and others. Should I kill a watermelon and put the ghost of it on the table to summon them so they can explain themselves?

 

[Hooked on phobics]

the account is his, and thus, he does mistake children for sex dolls.

Imagine demanding someone explain themselves over a fat retard then proceed to post about things you shove up your asshole and vagina.

 

[hunter2]

The fact that someone who makes a living being incredibly full of shit online just got taken in by someone who makes a living being incredibly full of shit online, but also wielding a scalpel, is truly poetic justice

 

[Gog & Magog]

What slanderous attacks hast thou thrown against my good name, thou contemptible wench? Whereas I have risen even unto the foremost rank in the King's Guard; whereas I have on many an occasion partaken in clandestine crusades against the Saracen and the Moor; whereas by mine hands have fallen Turkish barbarians numbering some fifteen score; whereas I am most skilled in the ways of the primate boxer; whereas I am the premier marksman amongst all of Our Majesty's knights: Thou art in my sights but yet another quarry. The Lord be my witness, I shall smite thee as no-one under the sun hath heretofore been smitten. Dost thou deign to fancy thyself secure to cast thy spittle upon my face from behind the Spider's Veil? Then thou hast wandered into grievous error. Yea, even at this very moment, I am sending word across the land to my fellow Varangians, and the provenance of thy scrivenings shall in short time become known unto me. A veritable maelstrom of vengeance is upon thy gates, thou wretched worm, which surely shall obliterate thy loathsome pretension of life. Truly, thou art foregone, child. I move as swift as the wind, and with mine own two hands I may at my pleasure slay thee in any of thirty and five score modes. For verily as I am a master in the pugilistic arts, even so doth the manifold armory of the Kiwi Free Company lie at my beck and call, which in its plenitude of power I shall not delay to burn down thy village, that thy fœtid flesh may no longer pollute this land with its presence, thou pitiful putrescence. Would that thou couldst have foreseen what great wrath thou hast by thy "brazen" jocosity summoned upon thyself! Perhaps thou wouldst have rather kept shut thy filth-spewing mouth. But neither couldst thou thus foresee, nor didst thou take heed of prudence, and thou art now reaping what thou hast sown, thou accursed simpleton. I will excrete rage all round about thee, wherein shalt thou be consumed. Thou hast quarrelled thy last, child.

 

[Pedophobe]

I mean, you are welcome to your opinion, it's just retarded is all.

 

[JoseRaulChupacabra]

Then go right back to the deer's asshole for another round.

Start with something not tree sex; something people care about like dogs or to a lesser extent PTSD. Then you get into the beastality.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Kids: Trick out your whip, not your dick.