random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Ken Barlow]

Why is it that every single retarded antifa member is either rail thin or a fucking hamplanet?

 

[Meat Target]

>purge the weak BONES FOR THE BONE THRONE
>what do you mean "hand over your money"
>PAWLICE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Case report of restless anal syndrome

 

[DerKryptid]

Coom to a troon today!!!!

 

[KiwiFuzz]

I'm a level 50 cumwizard and I just hexed Kindness

 

[Haffhart]

So the Mormons managed to involve two women in a sex act and still managed to make it boring and stupid.

 

[Hamplanet Fitness]

"And if your response is 'pee your pants,' you're in luck, I'm wearing a diaper." -Stephanie Cianfriglia

 

[Useful_Mistake]

I will relinquish the goods into your willing hands good Sir Jew.

I can arrange that. I've gotten much more beguiling women to slip out of their panties.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

The sigma male needs no woman to experience sexual pleasure. All he needs is a plastic bottle and an audience.

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

Hey look guys its Xer with hitler moustache a retarded tortoise and homeless FDR blocking the road again

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

Tom identifies as a non-sex-offender who sometimes admits to prior sex offenses.

 

[damian]

"dudes that want to be hackers"

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Pen this hoax in the Book of Grudges. The mounting evidence will tell the truth.

I think you need to contact your surgeon about what is going on in that god forsaken mess.

 

[MediocreMilt]

Tom expresses his paraphilic interests


Tom identifies as an 8 year old girl while masturbating.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Never underestimate the French's ability to take a delicate situation and make it infinitely worse.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

If the plights are legit, then you must acquit!

Start making your videos private

That's a long-winded way of saying "Jewfag".

I reported that one

As quoted by the living, mouth-breathing man filing this paper who apparently is actually dead per his allegations all lolcows die the second they get a thread.

6

Also, I forgot to put gas in the Jetta. Sorry, fam.

So which Judge or Judges do We bribe this time?

"The dismissal of Greer’s complaint took an emotional toll on Greer"

he makes a bowl of mashed potatoes look like Einstein in comparison.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

the only way out of this mess is by authorities vaxxmaxxing

 

[Anne Hyroe]

why is this mexican samurai trying to seduce me

Sexual harassment of null is pretty funny

 

[Blackhole]

What blacks lack in IQ they make up for in wisdom.

I am genuinely insulted by this. What kind of gullible knave does this regime take me for?

Imagining a nightmare where I'm in a hospital bed, the anesthesiologist is putting me to sleep, the surgeon blurts out "THIS IS JUST LIKE THAT ONE EPISODE OF GREY'S ANATOMY," and blacking out knowing I'm going to die.

Biden wants his super fast choo-choo and HE IS GOING TO GET IT

The world ended in 2012 and we're trapped in the dreamscape of an elder god doomed to experience the slow clownification of civilization over and over.

Necromancy is a hell of a thing.

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

I thought Dog was an actual dog, like a sniffer dog, but he's a dude. A bounty hunter.
I'm losing my grip on this case.

 

[Hitman One]

Ditch your angry, masculine mannerisms.
Replace them with angry, masculine it's ma'amerisms.