random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[tranny2000]

It's weird how all these ecommie grifters are all bourgeois

I am having an aneurysm, please send an antifa-medic without medical training to pour milk into my eyes

 

[Meat Target]

"No, no Mr. Putin sir, it is not a gay flag, see the stripe is goldenrod not yellow"

Fuck off, Home Depot's parking lot is FULL.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

Short answer, because they're retarded.

Long answer is that they have been trained to be retarded

 

[Fetish Roulette]

They see us practically cumming from just drinking water and they're jealous, even if in most cases they lack the self-reflection to know that.

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

Should have given them the ultimate Null thrill.

Wow! That was so scary! I'm never going on a ride again. I also saw a video of this guy that died when his house burned down. I'm never living in a house again.

Florida weather is crazy. It's raining cats and nogs.

The tower goes up into the sky
Soaring like an eagle
It comes back down
And speeds towards the ground

POP! goes the Negro.

I have a really dark sense of humor...

 

[Blackhole]

yeah cool karen you have like a fulfilling family life or whatever but i have cape shit sooooo

guys i would hold the judgement on what currently is a squawling flesh-potato actually looks like because all babies popped out fresh have faces like mashed clay.

Kiwi Farms confirmed TOO CUCKED to ride ROLLERCOASTERS

 

[I'm Not Racist Anymore]

My dad used to always tell me to hang my head out the rollercoaster because it was more fun, only after I turned 18 didn I learn he had a massive insurance policy out on me, and never paid child support.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

"Sorry but you have the wrong number" "No I don't you cunt"

 

[SCSI]

(Enhanced by @B1g Bootie BiTcHeZ )

Coming soon: the IKEA PËRV smart surveillance camera.

 

[Cats]

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

Don't be silly, Japan is a myth. Next you'll be telling me that Japanese family that has been living in my guest room and paying rent to me the last 8 months is real and not a figment of my deep psychosis. Pish posh!

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Gavin's busy hiding his wife in the closest so her stalkers don't shoot and skin the both of them.

Side note, look at the Reddit man on his phone in the background doing a perfect soyjack

 

[Open Window Maniac]

The CEO of Transphobes has now become the CEO of Jannies. He grows more powerful by the second.

 

[Jaded Optimist]

 

[Blackhole]

How about they just cut the crap? Can they cut that?

that pizza wasn't even cross-dressing with malicious intent.

"...Ah, come take a look at this, but be very still and quiet. If you look through the underbrush, you can see Tumblrista histrionicus deploying its special defense mechanism. Much like an opossum playing dead, this rare, delicate little creature puts on a fantastic little display, acting as though it has contracted a terrible brain disease so as to discourage predators from consuming its potentially infected flesh."

Why ya gotta whitewash the room, you shitlord? You are human trash so go sit in garbage can you are beyond gross and now I'm trigrded im litassstely shank ing oh mt gi d i,m hvavng a punic attcek rt now u guise...

"heh, looks like I live rent free chuds (five seconds earlier) I HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG NOR WILL I BE GOING ANYWHERE. I STAND BY MY CONVICTIONS AND KNOW MY COMMUNITY LOVES ME"

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

The thing about tremendously fat people is, well, they are squishy.

 

[Spergichu]

I can also dox people, and I’m probably not an alien.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

While we are here to serve the public, an incorrect drive-thru order is not a police matter.

From this OP:

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/kfc-cu...order-ohio-cops-say-i-want-my-chicken.115211/

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

It looks like she got with a Henry the 8th cosplayer.

 

[Scalar wave Physicist]

They all look like kike goblins no offense to Jews but all of them look like kike goblins.