random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

cumbrains think its normal to fap to cub diaper anal vore BDSM bukkake in a daycare setting.

What do you do when you drive around a 15,000 pound piece of metal?
Whatever the fuck you want, that’s what you do.

Australians drive on the left too, because it is considered disrespectful to high-five oncoming motorists with your left hand when one spots a fellow driver of a "sweet Ute".

Thinking about British people makes me feel depressed.

Silly troon, hanging to one side is the authentic male experience.

 

[Blackhole]

Big corp anti-semitism is killing the craft; it's nice to see smaller indie studios like Mothra still around to provide a quality product we can all appreciate.

Yes, Hunter Biden is in a sexual relationship with his underaged niece, but here’s why that’s a good thing.

It really screams "free country" when the government declares it has decided it is going to destroy the livelihoods of thousands of families and that's it if you don't like it get fucked also you're pieces of shit fuck you

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

Gone are the days where fat no-life losers can give their stupid life advices on reddit and quora

 

[I am vomit]

It just occurred to me, we don't actually have to beat/shock collar Chris.

Somebody explain how that's worse than 90 percent of this community throwing their cum covered boxers in the household laundry hamper.

Plus even humans will eat feces, and especially in this subforum do so entirely because it gives them a boner for some reason.

Cum washes away easily. Shit collects in clumps.

How do you get inflation fetishists pissed at you? I know it's Dobson, but how do you get on that level of insufferable?

So it's like War Games, but instead of nuclear weapons, it's accusations of racism.

I know when I lick this area my man gets extra excited. Can the men here comment on the sensation of taint licks?

Can that one user please fuck Chibis mom so we can force a return?

Yeah but the difference is your man hasn't had his prostrate shrunken by drugs and his penis flipped inside out and shoved inside him.

Just how many ebonics-speaking deaf niggers are in this fucking country?!

A white man being nice to me time to scary face.

Learning that popping is controversially amongst inflation fetishists is about as far down that rabbit hole as I'm willing to go.

My rosary triumphs over your ovaries.

THIS HEX IS SPONSORED BY RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAID SHADOW LEGENDS!!!

 

[MissAnthropist]

Butthole is is the eye of the beholder IMO.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Just how many ebonics-speaking deaf niggers are in this fucking country?!

Sorry to tag you again for this but I need to highlight your point on how fucked the foot scene is and the fact we had a fucking foot scratch and sniff card for it because I forgot about it until you unlocked that repressed memory.

I'd rather die alone than resort to some devil magic!

My rosary triumphs over your ovaries.

I suppose she could play the 'comedian' card with her career trajectory being one long 'Aristorcrats' sort of joke.

 

[Brain Power]

So it's literally just a guy that after pissing blood for years found out he had a genetic defect in his Y chromosomes and extra X chromosomes that gave him fully functioning ovaries but is unable to have kids because he's a fucking man and has a normal penis but with inert balls. Dude had it fucking rough but thankfully he aint pissing blood anymore and doesn't run the risk of being the first real mpreg case though that'd require the dicks to touch which would be gay.

 

[Skitarii]

Randy Stair has a ghost penis.

 

[Jason Wynn]

She looks like an off-brand wednesday adams, you'd figure the nerds be too smart to stick it in haunted pussy.

 

[Autistic Joe]

Ah yes, many true and honest men know the struggle of having a dick the size of a Big Gulp.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Most silicone is, so go ahead and sit your vag panties on the top rack.

Did Herge draw Tintin sucking off the dog?

I’m curious to learn about these ancient lolcows.

Ngl: “clit burial” sounds like something you get sentenced to by the Taliban.

 

[I am vomit]

While I do have a compound filled with military grade firearms and am training a group of multi-ethnic disadvantaged youths in anti-government sentiment, I'm not diddling anybody.

I worry if the people that follow and like Anime Expo’s tweets are actual bots that have been programmed with social justice propaganda to include personal pronouns and trans flags while also being underaged.

Would it be okay to publicly say that I want to push Ricky Berwick down stairs if it was in defense of trannies? Do you think Ricky could beat up Keffals?

If you fuckers don’t stop bumping this thread with zero Kelly content I’m gonna get my legs amputated.

Oh god wtf is wrong with her tits

If you really wanted to impress people with how much you love Maxine/Bella you would video yourself shoving mushrooms down your urethra.

At first I thought it was just a lack of a bra, we've all been there, but no. They're far too... long and.. skinny. Like zucchini..

I don’t like trans people. They’re coarse and rough and irritating and they get everywhere.

Ngl: “clit burial” sounds like something you get sentenced to by the Taliban.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

You were supposed to read the headline, assume that conservative bigot was put in his place, and shout a triumphant "SLAY KWEEN!" to the heavens.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

Russian translations are so weird. Everything reads like Yoda narrating Crime and Punishment.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Imagine killing my nigga Eeyore and then posting it on social media. Sad..

 

[KiwiFuzz]

The Byzantines have suffered enough

Grab a beer, pull up a chair and settle in my friend. It's a long and twisted tale of greed, sex and amholes.

mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa stands for
menwithamholes menwithamholes menwithamholes menwithamholes menwithamholes menwithamholes

Butthole is is the eye of the beholder.

 

[CatParty]

But sex is far more complicated than poking the tip of a girl’s penis and saying it looks pretty.

 

[SCSI]

I called my Beaner friend a Tacx, and he threatened to kill me the next time he saw me.

Even I can tell the difference between a cute cat and a fed in a fursuit.

I have never had a cat make "sin biscuits." Possibly because my cats aren't having the constant psychosexual crisis likely running for cats owned by redditors.

 

[Kirk Van Houten]

If Santa shits on the floor what does the tooth fairy do?

 

[Haramburger]

Kiwifarms is a reprehensible website but is half redeemed by its commitment to free speech, which extends to this debate.