random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Norbert the Tiger]

Fuck off back to Twitter, furfag.

Unfortunately, hornets don't particularly care how smart you think you are, they gonna sting and do their thing.

@rubinremus Caroline Farrow reacting with approval to an image of an emu in a tiger’s jaw.

@rubinremus More chilling messages about me from Caroline Farrow’s allies on Kiwifarms.

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

Even the interdimensional magic elves hate coons.

 

[Table Country]

Sex defender (I shoot LGBT people on sight)

*throws open trenchcoat to reveal interracial porn DVD's*

Unpopular Opinion: I like pinecones on pizza

Oh my JOSH u guize, this one tranny killing themselves over in texas is JUST like that one scene from the Simpsons featuring two farmers outside of a feed and seed shop! : ( ) Ö

Also, prison rape.

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

My parents spanked me and I grew up to be a fine Kiwi Farms shitposter, what's the problem?

 

[Aunt Carol]

Creamy, Delicious Kate Farms Pediatric Standard Enteral Formula and Kate Farms Pediatric Peptide Enteral Formula (Vanilla Flavor). Made with All Good Things™ including our proprietary blend of vitamins and minerals. Mix with vodka and kahlua for a nutritionally complete White Russian!

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

And he created a clinic to have more people do this?
This must be some kind of surgical pyramidal scheme.

 

[Meat Target]

I look forward to his upcoming essay dissecting the question of how many fursonas and headmates can dance on the head of an estrogen injectable.

 

[Alabaster Disaster]

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Kindness is pretending to be a retarded cat instead of her reality, which is that she is a retarded human.

I like to think Sky is in the bed when they fuck, staring at the ceiling and getting seasick and occasionally dissociating.

I will now go and cover myself in the blood of Jesus for knowing, thinking, and typing these cursed words.

I'm not a doctor but I feel like adderall and energy drinks is the opposite of what you need to prevent seizures.

I am old, and this is cranky, because I, indeed, happen to be old and cranky:

You haven't given your fuck marry kill list by the way. I'm willing to switch Olive to "marry" if she's wealthy like in Genndy's scrapped movie.

I remember really appreciating that Futurama, unlike The Simpsons, knew when to stop.

Another victory for team boobs!

Andy is a dumb fucking moron who is mostly remembered for cumming on his walls and being gifted a job cause he was friends with michael and even then he got fired and mica is just a dumb nigger who cried about being black and wanting to be white all the while she was born with a silver spoon up her ass and never had to struggle in her life. Meanwhile gina carano is pioner of womens mma who actually fought people to prove she was number one and while she didnt get a belt she did leave mma with a record of 7-1 and while thats not really impressive. It still shows that she stepped up and was willing to get beat to pulp for her goals but this nigger and faggot only know her for her political beliefs and i doubt they would even say anything to her if they saw her in real
Life.

I sometimes worry about your mental wellbeing, going through the twitters of all these cunts.

If anyone starts a Disney adults thread, I'll provide tiktoks

 

[ScooterL]

The behaviour is still continuing on Kiwifarms.

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

I value this can of ranch dip on my desk that's been there for 2 weeks more than I value any fucking tranny or genderspecial.

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

Could you imagine the population of India if they didn't constantly take themselves out in increasingly stupid ways?

 

[Got Milk!]

I think most Americans are not going to be able to adjust to a new lifestyle of not having all the luxuries and freedoms we are use too. But let’s just keep making nigger jokes that’s helpful.

 

[Canopus The Brilliant]

"My favorite part is when he said "IT'S SPERGIN' TIME" and then sperged all over those guys."

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

Used to love running the big ol' Oliver diesel around the dairy farm, spreading manure or harvesting corn silage to feed the moos.

 

[PaladinBoo]

Another one that I find funny from increasingly reviled lolcow Mauler:

"There is no white culture."

He said in his defense of why black people are in the newest God of War which takes place in Norse Mythology.

 

[Disc]

My penis was oscillating between extremely sensitive and borderline traumatized. The last place I wanted to be was Frostnipistan. I’d been trying some home remedies, including one recommended by a friend. She’d urged me to apply Elizabeth Arden cream. My mum used that on her lips. You want me to put that on my todger? It works, Harry. Trust me. I found a tube, and the minute I opened it the smell transported me through time. I felt as if my mother was right there in the room. Then I took a smidge and applied it…down there. “Weird” doesn’t really do the feeling justice.

Eventually, somehow, we made our way back to Monica’s. That is, Courteney’s. It was night. I walked down some stairs to her beachfront and stood with my toes in the ocean, watching the lacy surf come forward, recede, come forward, for what felt like ages. I looked from the water to the sky, back and forth. Then I stared directly at the moon. It was speaking to me. Like the bin and the toilet. What was it saying? That the year ahead would be good. Good how? Something big. Really? Big. Not more of the same? No, something special. Really, Moon? Promise. Please don’t lie to me. I was nearly the age Pa had been when he’d got married, and he’d been considered a tragically late bloomer. At thirty-two he’d been ridiculed for his inability or unwillingness to find a partner. I was staring thirty-two in the face. Something has to change. Please? It will. I opened my mouth to the sky, to the moon. To the future. Aaaah.

Literally nobody ever wanted to hear about Ten Degrees of Kevin Bacon between your dead mom's lips and your frostbite dick.

If we don't have a Prince Harry Quote in Random.txt, at least one of these has to be worth it.

 

[Big Stank Dick Dad]

We're talking about the only vertebrates on the planet that will willingly castrate themselves.

 

[Table Country]

There was a review on the BBC about this and they said it's OMG INCREDIBLE. So as I'm sure we all expect, it's going to suck

American culture is centered around prison showers. They have showers for niggers. They have imprisoned hundreds of thousands of niggers just to bathe them. They listen to shower music. They dress and act like they're ready to hit the showers. They draw the entirety of their modern culture from Lord of the Lockerroom. They post sassy gifs about bathtubs. Their biggest event of the day is getting ready to hit the showers.

I'm moreso just confused as to why his rape will be covered by the British Broadcasting Channel when this takes place in the US.
Unless they are extraditing him to the UK for something.

“You can earn back my follow”. You can kick the bricks, queer

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

I've never gotten the vax and I think it's retard juice like null said

HHH and the other liberal bait-posters/paypiggies on suicide watch...