random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Anti Snigger]

She belongs to the streets? I AM the streets

 

[Osama Bin Laden]

>They have an idea they have Hot Ones but instead of eating hot wings, they suck increasingly larger dicks

 

[Gentlebastard]

Given enough time everything becomes crabs patposters

Today I learnt that women can’t run, or use stairs.

Wait for the carcinization crustacean child

He knows full well the path he's on will lead to ruination, but he also knows the path is filled with gud meet and yummy sweets so he doesn't give a flying fuck - and neither should you.

My dog ate a lot of fabric off a toy when she was a puppy. She pooped and a turd was hanging on a thread out of her anus and I had to grab it (with a poo bag) and pull it and the attached and still inside her turd out.

I wonder if this person has ever experienced anything similar.

I honestly think the average frat boy is less of a misogynist than the average troon. By far.

When having three L's in your name isn't enough.

imagine getting so ass mad that you feel the need to rage over A FUCKING POLITICAL COMPASS MEME

By the way she types alone I'm shocked nobody has strangled this person to death yet. What an unpleasant woman.

Apparently the day picked for the "Transgender Day of Remembrance." is the same day as "National Absurdity Day." At first I thought someone was just playing a joke, but apparently it wasn't.

Also visible from space is the old tarp barn/slaughter pit/mass grave. One day it will surely reveal its secrets.

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

LGBT is the new vegan.

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

Santa is real and isn't black and crippled damn it, take that back you nigger!

 

[doodoocaca]

No you're right, the terrorists in a chaotic dusty ass war zone skipped past the esteemed otolaryngology and vulvoplasty clinics so they could get their hostages the best care possible at the only hospital in Gaza that knows how to treat a gunshot wound.

 

[Tablet County]

Jesus didn't come back with a sword just to get his ass kicked and his church destroyed.

All the legbeards and lentilmen who identify as 'asexual' are sexually frustrated liars who want Chad to blast their anus while whispering "Donald Trump" in their ear.

Variety is the spice of life, and only shitskins put spice on things.

 

[Haffhart]

(For posterity, this pic refers to this site not Kiwi Farms)

"See what drives the Marines."
What drives the Marines: DRAGON BALLS AND ANIME TIDDIES.

I swear it's like the entire US military is a joke.

 

[Tablet County]

My soul seethes with hate and the glass isn't just half empty, it's filled with piss and poison. Life is a slow downward spiral into decrepitness and cognitive decline as the world around you disintegrates into tranny-filled horse shit.

So what you're saying is that hentai is actually the only type of porn in which you're not being cucked, because there's no actual "action".

The Argies are fucked Britain is sending Prince Andrew back over there and he's going to rape all of their daughters

 

[Rick's Beef Wellington]

"I'm trying to actually have a conversation and you just keep replying with words like Child a thousand times"

"You are not owed a conversation, child."

 

[RealMuthaForYa]

“Here’s to the happiest days of my life. Spent in the arms of another man’s wife! My mother”

 

[Tablet County]

Real men use the chindo to tone their jawline.

Your cat says "my owner is black," your cat is saying it wants a different owner.

I didn’t read all of that shit, but every beer I drink takes CO2 out of the atmosphere and puts it in my stomach, so that’s my contribution to climate change.

 

[Pedophobe]

Suicide is never the answer. Improve yourself faggot.

Come to the conclusion we are a pretty abnormal bunch of people and it has been shown time and time again.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

I suppose if we’re taking this to its absolute logical conclusion, then yes, masturbating to two anime twinks railing each other is not gay as long as it was a woman who made the yaoi hentai.

 

[Vyse Inglebard]

Twas the night before Food Stamps and all through the crib
Not a peeps was wildin not even a nig
When out at da lawn I heard a gun chatter
I ran outside yelling Black Lives Matter
And what do muh wandering eyes do afear
But stealing Saint Nig and his 40 of beer!

 

[Thomas Eugene Paris]

My bigot doctors take one look at me and ask me about the health of my hoochie, without checking which of the 178 genders I am.

 

[Vyse Inglebard]

And then, a knocking, between the door lamps
And a merry cry of 'yo, yo, yo, you crackas got a ramp?'
As I turned the handle, and pulled back the door
Santa rolled past, with a blunt and .44
He was dressed all in bling, with a Lakers hat
And he had his 12 bitches, their asses all phat
His sled low to the ground, with back spinning rims
And diamonds gleamed with each merry grin
Sipping his lean, in his festive attire,
His kicks were so icy, his mixtape was fire!
The stump of a blunt, bought with ebt money
And the smoke, it made people 3 houses down feel funny

He holla'd it's ya boy, where the white women at?
And a car full of his boys pulled up to the trap
They stole all gifts, just like the grinch
They tagged every wall and helped themselves to the fridge
And as I spoke up at the end of my patience,
A tranny with blue hair called me a racist!
And as the dawn came and the sun started to shine
They sped to the whip, ankle bracelets beeping in time
And as Santa disappeared, with all his relations
A shout went up 'AYO DATS REPARATIONS'

 

[Gentlebastard]

Such is the way of life in Burgerland for those infected by the Jewish Wendigo Golum in the year of our lord 2023

This is a reddit-tier "this totally happened" story.

If there is no insurance policy out on him then the only reason I can see for her to still be with him is either religious observance to marriage until death, or a deep seated desire to to see him dead by food. I can respect either of those.

No matter how bad things get, we have the love of our family and friends, the delight of learning something new, and joy in the confidence the Golden Age is yet to come.

Backpfeifengesicht! Backpfeifengesicht! Backpfeifengesicht! Backpfeifengesicht!
Backpfeifengesicht!!!!!!!!

The man goes through months or even years long lulls, before people begin to notice him again because he does something retarded. And when it rains, it pours. Be persistent frens.

Anyone that starts a sentence with erm no is a faggot.

or worse, a woman

That dude shouldn’t make you ashamed to be Danish.

You should be ashamed of being Danish as your standard position.

If a psychologist were to use that image as part of some kind of Jungian association test, I'd immediately correlate that image with "fecal vomiting syndrome."

You know the term Womanface gets said a lot but, I've never seen something that looks like both Womanface and Blackface all in one. Impressive.

Now THESE are some wojak material expressions.

He’s like a cliche no one was hackneyed enough to write.

faaaaat male you are faaat and even chubby chasers would be put off by your male FAAAAT

If this were done as a parody it would be the most transphobic thing ever. But this, this is beyond parody, it transcends human language. God bless these troons for the hearty keks they provide.

I suppose if I ever took up being a faggot full time I would invest in some non-dramatic fake eyelashes.

"Tee hee I'm constipated and deranged, I'll say one of you is the daddy!"

"I don't broadcast my trans status at work, apart from being an obviously cross-dressing male, wearing a pronoun badge, AND a trans flag badge, and having a timer that goes off every four hours to remind me to take estrogen, which I tell everyone about."

I guess Leatherface is just living his True and Honest self, we're all bigots.

 

[Vyse Inglebard]

When people ask me how to get into games journalism these days, my main piece of advice is “don’t.”

 

[frozen_runner]

Elon is a nigger but he’s doing the white mans work