random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Tablet County]

the fuck is a

buck breaking benjamin​

The year is 1819 and I'm mad about kids wearing shorts instead of pants.

I’m at the gym right now and there’s a guy with Down syndrome who is yoked. He was doing weighted chin ups and keeps running through sets. I think he did 8x5 with a 25lb weight on his belt. When he did his last set, he picked up a handful of chalk and tossed it in the air.

Absolute GigaChad.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are witnessing the birth of grift-hop.

I mean, I'm not a woman but after reading A&H too much I too sometimes think that the left may be onto something and I must stop to gain my sanity back.

Motherfucker potholes have been an issue here since christ was a cowboy you fucking retards.

 

[mlanguishi]

The degree of your misunderstanding is only exceeded by the immensity of your total disregard of reality.

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

Not to evoke Mutt's Law, but I hope they hire Vince McMahon as Torswat's prison guard.
"Re ur last swatting. U need Ur orange jumpsuit ripped off and..."

 

[Gentlebastard]

I like my water mama birded into my mouth.

I hope your crotch rot has completely cleared up and you're not infusing that pool with crumbling taint because no amount of chlorine will stop that being fucking obscene.

Black preachers can spew some baller homophobia

I can just imagine the poor buyer that doesn't know about any of the drama finding a dead and raped alpaca behind the drywall or something.

Unless the picture is skewed that is a ton of cheese. How does this man shit? Actually, I don't want to think about that.

All these years later, I find out I could have just called the police on every kid who toititoititoi'd every time I spoke, and demanded me lucky charms and pots o'gold. Fucking cunts. They're mine.

Come on, you fat fuck. Say the line. Say the God damn line. This is your one chance to say "Enjoy prison, stalker child" without looking like an utter buffoon.

 

[Limp Bizkit Stan Account]

if this guy is claiming to be a man, why is she still saying all these hysterical and retardedly female ideas

 

[HyperboreanRightsActivist]

i will have to go to this site that abuses me called kiwi farms and i will have to tell them about it and i dont have time because i have to many hot takes to tell them about

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

it's always just some fucking assholes complaining about shit that doesn't matter.

 

[capitalBBustard]

It's not because I haven't jerked off, it's because I'm biologically predisposed to brown aggression.

 

[The Holy Empress Theodora]

Hobby Lobby would’ve straight up crucified his degenerate ass, providing they could find wood strong enough.

 

[Tablet County]

I don't think I have ever heard something as off-putting as "sexuality geek".

I wish this amount of autism went into something useful

I was 3 years old, my dad brought home an old 486 and I watched him play games until he let me try. The experience of playing Prince of Persia at such a young age gave me autism.

What the fuck is "feminine creativity?" Is it like choosing a different color of a dildo to shove up my ass?

I never get sick of doing your mom

If and when I have children they’re going to get a giant dirt pile like I had as a boy and we shall make trenches.

 

[Don't Tread on Me]

I'll dick you down and show you how wrong you are.

 

[Archie_Kimkicker]

we already know you're a gay furry, you didn't have to tell us you're using some weird Linux distro.

 

[Skitarii]

I'm not cringe enough to be a vtuber

Don't sell yourself short.

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

Q&A should be renamed to “Bargain Bin Laden’s Nightmare Castle”

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

This scene may be the beginning of the end. A lifetime of anime figures and body pillows.

 

[Jikka]

2/10 would not federally watchlist you.

 

[HyperboreanRightsActivist]

I love that we've all just agreed that Bai Dong-Suk is this gigachad racist.

Because he is, and he deserves to be depicted as he is. A pure chad radiating copious amounts of "FUCK NIGGERS" energy.

 

[Limp Bizkit Stan Account]

I assume you have a Y chromosome.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Another surefire sign of sexual abuse is the boy's parents are making him wear girl's clothing.

When we win, don't forget these people want you broke and dead, your kids raped and brainwashed, and they think it's funny.

 

[Tablet County]

In any case, give meth a try.