random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[HyperboreanRightsActivist]

It's like if Bossmanjack gambled with the lives of innocent Slavs.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

If cooming to kids is the problem, then lolicon is the solution.

In conclusion to this braindead retarded debate where somehow everyone missed my point, I had fun creating this Kiwifarms guide to lolicon art (if you get banned in your country from viewing this FULLY UNCENSORED LOLICON ART I'm so sorry!):

Congrats, you now have lolicon in your browser cache. Have fun.

You played video games with 11 year old perky tidded cat girls for memes so...

My guy, I at least skipped them.

She's one of the most popular waifus of all time.

I'm with you on that, but to be fair, the part where Sakura gets raped by her brother is extremely important to her character.

I watched that movie with my sister...

Then if you agree to receive a blowjob, you agree to accept the risk of a surprise finger in your asshole.

 

[Pedophobe]

I didn’t know bitchface was a disability.

@Generic Anime Girl
how I feel after God and my brain teamed up to make me hyperfixate on a character from the fucking Call of Duty Franchise

It's some King Lear shit, but if King Lear was a gigantic faggot you laughed at.

Paragraphs, man...paragraphs.

 

[DavidS877]

"niggers were one thing. But I'll be damned if my daughter gets probed by an alien"

 

[PhoBingas]

What does founding father mean? Was he the first dude to fuck his dog?

 

[Betonhaus]

I think your sarcasm detector needs recalibration.

 

[Spud]

I have a body count well over 4 digits, I ran a sex toy company for a few years. I've arranged orgies, both gay and straight. I used to work at an "open minded" (women allowed) gay sex club. I've mopped jizz.

 

[Super Dilator Duel 3D]

"Had to be the one con I'm banned from for sharing unsolicited cum squirt videos" would be more accurate.

 

[Poonocchio]

Sounds like a dorky "Not like the other girls" girl "forced" to use the girls' room and beaten culturally enriched by girls with a very blunt ethnic communication style.

 

[Gentlebastard]

i would have thought it was common courtesy to put literal cartoon porn behind a spoiler.

He really thinks (correctly, no doubt) his audience are gullible retards.

You could put eighty billion people in Ireland if you pulped them and stored them in vast concrete silos dotting the land from coast to coast. Just saying.

(kill your local drug dealer)

If Andrew Dobson could stop posting, it's possible for anyone.

We don't use bandaids, we eat our scabs because they are yummy.

It can't be comfortable or fun taking 3 cocks in the ass at the same time for 4 hours

I hate that I opened that while eating peanut butter.

 

[Hitman One]

people thinking it was niggers and mexicans when CLEARLY, kiwifarms did it

"YOU STUPID FUCKING SLUT!" screamed Null, his face red with fury and spraying saliva,

 

[Rotollo 2]

Do you know what PER CAPITA means or are you a fucking nigger?

 

[Law]

Apologized for what? Felonious stochastic comedy?

 

[Asian tech support]

"We don't even have a WOODEN SPOON to STIR OUR DAILY SAUCES. I also need $32.41 for...ice cube trays and, uhhh...a potato masher. People use those, right? My nephew will starve without these necessities that up to now have not been a problem, but you see, we are MOVING in SIX DAYS. On 26/02/2024. I wrote the date like that because I am very smart, you see. Money, please. My nephew will soon perish without a garlic press."

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

The whole point of being a tranny is being able to force people to listen to your- your gay bullshit, you know? And shooting their kids up with estrogen.

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

"NO I AM NOT SHOPLIFTING OFFICER MY ASS ALWAYS SOUNDS LIKE SIX TEACUPS AND A SILVERWARE SET ARE INSIDE IT ITS A MEDICAL CONDITION".

Ching chong, grab the bong,
Hit it light, that shit strong!

Yeah. How about not going to a random sus as fuck stranger's house and sticking your dick through a random hole in a sheet in a doorway. That would have 100% prevented it.

My disdain for cops, New York, and New York government officials has not changed drastically in the last three weeks.

"Vaginal?" the man asked, exasperated, waiting for his opportunity to strike.
"No," said the faggot in a feminized but still clearly male voice, "anal only, or else I can't cum".
The man, still not realizing he was being tricked, stuck his raw cock into the poopy butthole. Just then, the faggot made a masculine groan as his butthole was expanded. Suspicious, the man ripped down the sheet, only to find not a woman, but a HOMOSEXUAL on the other side!

He looks more like a Shylock than a Jewboy to me but it's always a very of-the-moment call which slur to choose when you are forcibly disembarking a naval passenger.

I was the empty paper towel dispenser. I heard one of the girls say, "In the name of Dynastia, I slap ya'll!"

Breeders ain't shit but lunch to pits
Bite off deez nuts and eat the dick

Have you ever woken up with morning wood one day and decided you might be a lesbian?

They glow in the dark, you can see them if you're running. You just bite them, that's woof you do.

a year or so later back in the day at Jeff Davis Jr High somebody tried to culturally enrich me and one of the other handbells nerds when we were hauling shit but I got him in a Diamond Cutter and fortunately neither of us was smart enough to realize that actually does far more damage to me than him so he ran off immediately

white supremacy is to blame for this crisis and the solution is more diversity, at least in the fungus department

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Never call me a NEET again you hag

 

[Tablet County]

nexon rules. they're gonna run the whole god damn world soon. nexon is like a platonic ideal of the korean hyper-jew. any time i think of nexon offices in my head i'm picturing a building made of concrete color painted foam staffed by five foot tall spiders.

Children should be digging ditches, not waxing them.

Hello,

After reviewing the available information, we want to let you know _N_I_G_G_E_R hasn't broken our safety policies.

 

[clipartfan92]

please do not tell me that is a live audience for 5 tv screens with cartoon characters on it

 

[Neighborhood Janny]

i hate reading

Jesus Christ dude, can I get a tldr?

All looks pretty gay to me.

What the actual fuck did I read? Jesus dude, what possessed you to read and summarize all of this? Great thread.