random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Kiwi & Cow]

I’m sorry. As an adult, “goon” is an informal position in ice hockey. Masturbating has untold euphemisms and idioms to describe or allude to it, and calling it “gooning” seems like some real nigger shit.

I decline to participate in your debauchery of the language

 

[Gentlebastard]

I can guarantee any drugstore clerk who has been there for more than a week does not give a shit about what you’re buying, they’ve seen worse, especially if you look, act, and smell normal.

any guy who buys sex dolls is a creepy weirdo by definition

he claimed there was a bomb threat but a funster called the hotel and the nice dark skinned lady was all "da hell u talking about nigga" when asked about it

I think this pooner should go ahead with this amazing idea, I bet that chud would crumble upon the weight of the most heinous of crimes, misgendering.

Or he will call her a dumb faggot and move on with his day, jury is out on that one.

Local Tranny Can’t Help But Create More Tranny Haters.

I really hope this turns into a UFC weight class, the retard weight division.

Here is my completely unsolicited but correct and good advice:

Buy a gently used, pre owned sex hole from eBay. Your dick won't care.

I, too, wish I could look like a pufferfish ready to be diced by a Korean chef.

What? The narcissists obsessed with porn can't find love? Shocker.

they're not lesbians, they're greedy bisexual

You're not the Ship of Theseus faggot.
And you're not a woman either.

The best way to turn down a tranny is to keep it simple. "I like women." It's an inoffensive sentence from the perspective of any normie, and yet is enough to ruin a tranny's day. Maybe even a whole week.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

Suprised the most wtf Rackets quotes from Dear John aren't here

What are you gonna do? Buy a Ceaser salad from McDonald's and die that way? I mean, I don't even like Ceasar! Unless he's in your ass.

What's he gonna do? Steal a bottle of Tylenol from a Somali?

John.....buddy....you could've just hired an 8 year old to kill you

 

[Botchy Galoop]

Maybe hollow out his skull and install a Baja Blast reservoir in there. That'd be handy.

 

[Harm]

I'm actually a little insulted he thinks I want to hear what he has to say. This dude blows dudes in dresses and then uses the same hands he's fondling keffals's balls with to write me messages. wtf bro fuck off.

 

[demicolon]

It's Chris. He probably thinks Finnish is the language of the End Times and Second Coming because of it's name.

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

Back in my day when we didn't talk like fluorinated retards we called it centrism, and fence-sitting.

I hope Ben Collins gets beaten to death. God I hate that faggot so much.

If you're going to get a job at a comedy newspaper, shouldn't you be funny? The only joke Ben Collins has is being Ben Collins and that's about as funny as a box of puppies sitting in the rain.

Matthew you are a faggot and I hope you get eaten alive by BIG FEROCIOUS BERNESE DOGS

Faggot

FEMA is Hitler. Katrina is Hitler. The Iraq War is Hitler. Borders are Hitler. Abortion is Hitler. Trannies and TERFs are both Hitler. Gina Carano is Hitler and Disney is Hitler for firing her. The vaccine may or may not have been Hitler depending on how Covid looked at the time. Bush, Obama, Trump and Biden have all been Hitler. Everyone being Hitler means nobody is.

It took 10 seconds on google to disprove this btw. If you're going to be racist at least don't come up with retarded lies to make us fellow racists look bad.

But now I'm semi-literate and have come to take that back, only to find myself impotent.

It's bizarre seeing someone shit on Hitler and talk up Mussolini at the same time, but I appreciate your out of the box thinking.

goddamn transphobic ice escalator

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

Vito is not a paedo. He has relationships with women and sex with children.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

For those who haven't been around horses, horses are terrible people

 

[Napoleon Bonerfart]

 

[Johnny Salami]

Remember, the modern American Hispanic has two paths: wannabe nigger hood rat, or vicious white supremacist.

 

[doodoocaca]

Nah, because kiwis don't scorn, they sneed!

 

[stupid frog]

“I prefer sexually interacting with vaginas.”

Nothing autistic and unsexy about troons.

 

[everybody in Portugal]

She doesn't get it. She doesn't know that 60% of the stuff she does day-to-day is not normal. She doesn't know that 99.9% of British women would never ever have to say "Oi, I did a wee on the discord call, but I was catfished and it ain't even me, ya nonce."

With a face like that you'd think she would've been fired from prostitution by now.

 

[Tablet County]

Sir, this is an A-logging thread. I'm going to have to ask you to put on a top hat and start sneeding - and possibly feeding - or please leave.

 

[Pedophobe]

If people cared about things making sense we wouldn’t be in this mess.

I’m a weeb, do you expect me to feel shame???

go fuck yourself

 

[seri0us]

I'm sorry I can't take this seriously. They have uploaded a Robo-Jew into the cloud to perpetually be the living voice of eternal victimhood.

 

[Sneedfully and Peacefully]

My money's on your grooming happening between 6-8, probably an older male relative, judging by your current proclivity.

 

[GunCar Gary]

KOSHER TASTES BETTER
YOU CAN CALL ME CHOSEN
UNLIKE GENTILES I'M AN EXPLOSION
OF LEVITICAL DEVOTION

 

[Gentlebastard]

Kiwifarms is always behind all hatred of Transsexuals' on the internet, its impossible that these people are being judged by the content of their character and not by the color of their pride flag.
No one ever had a issue with a Transgender before Null created Kiwifarms much like how Yakub created white people.

Just hit the bar every night and buy him a beer, you'll be talking him out of committing suicide in no time.

That is our CREED, dear sneeder.

Raise your hands to your hearts, gentlemen.

“Neither sleet, nor rain, nor snow. Through fire and ice, storms of dust, hoods of negros and beaners alike, if there is a tranny bitching about something unimportant, we will be there to call them gay and retarded.”

Jersh is definitely the Prince of Transphobia

I have been promised for decades that if I burn enough tires in my back yard New York, London and the Netherlands would be underwater by now. I'm running out of tires and these niggas ain't drowning yet.

“I’m asexual, but only in the presence of trans women.”

Girl horny = Boner
Euphoria = Boner
I have no idea what the fuck "phantom vagina feel" means but I'm also going to guess it's a boner.

do you know how expensive those anime figurines are? and there's an entire industry of those, who did you think pays those prices? well-adjusted people? riiiiight...

How is someone a lesbian if they don't like vaginas? It's like a gay guy who can't stand penises, and loves vagina. That's just a very, very confused straight.

Horrifying. Do you have a link to that?

The Welsh Government's entire existance is to annoy the fuck out of the Welsh people at the behest of Westminster.

you're not only a parasocial coomer, but also a gay chubby chaser. and, worst of all: a mukbang enthusiast!
it's hard to overstate how over it is for you at that point.

This guy is pretty coherent while obviously insane

I looked into this and the answer is worse than I thought - it's performance poetry

I'm concerned the chant "transgender lesbian sperm producing female" is going to pop in my head tomorrow at work and I'll have to stifle a laugh.

People with no bitches and no money wear it on their face, which result in negative bitches and negative money. Unfortunately for Reddit, this does not result in an integer overflow where they get all the bitches and all the money.

If there's one thing I psychotically despise about Internet 3.0, moreso than the ads, moreso than the retarded black people, moreso than the censorship, it's how they can just insert shit into my feed that I've expressed no interest in and force me to look at it. I have never in my life expressed an interest in Taylor Swift or black trannies, yet there they are on my feed.

Um excuse me sweaty, hot dogs are dogs. It's literally in the name.

if you want to understand this mindset just replace science/medicine with “magic” and scientist/doctor with “wizard”. Typically, in fictional magic systems, anything is possible unless explicitly ruled out. Realize that this is how the vast majority of normies view science/medicine/modern technology.

his brain is in a state of quantum narcissism where two contradicting statements can be true when he feels like it

I've attempted to read his books. as well have seen how he treats people in the public sphere, I can honestly say that even basic human interaction to him is science fiction.

Observe the pig. Mock the pig. Do not poke the pig, do not try to geofence the pig.

I truly believe that Jack was put on this earth to create unfathomably bad merch. He’s the Mozart of shitty merch, constantly testing the limits and shattering the boundaries of what you previously thought horrible boomer merch could look like. It would be impossible to replicate through satire; it’s the only genuine talent that this fat retard has.

Fast people search? More like FAT PEOPLE SEARCH. Cos he's fat