random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Mister Baranavichy]

It's not even an exceptional reason, this is just how Hasbro historically is; an outsider fixes their fuck ups for them, the boardroom that is perpetually eight years behind goes "i hungy" and slaughters the golden goose, everything goes to shit, they fall back to what they thought worked last time (even though 110% of the time said fallback was also wildly shit), repeat.

 

[The Taco Santo!]

Retarded Anal Rapist would be a pretty good band name.

If I ever start a pornogrind band, I'm calling it Retarded Anal Rapist.

 

[frozen_runner]

Quality Quotes: Hotdog Edition

One of the gravest mistakes a person can make is overthinking a hot dog.

Why does seeing that hot dog make me want to oppress minorities?

If hot dogs were shaped like vaginas they'd be considered brave feminist icons

pay homeless people five dollars to throw shit on the hotdog

Everything started going to hell when they started allowing women to eat hotdogs.

I wonder how they look at corndogs. Do they think it's a stand-in for sounding?

Jews. I guarantee it.

Don't eat factory-farmed humans, guys, always try getting an organic one.

What even is the point of modern consoles outside of replacing a ghetto kid's dad?

>I wake up
>there is anarchotyranny
>I go back to bed

does the CIA just have a tranny gun that they fire at these people?

Is there not already a thread about this? Very disappointing, Kiwifarms should be on top of these matters. I shouldn't have to hear about it from the fucking Guardian.

Is there anything more equitable than the entire human race becoming radioactive dust?

Restricting gas would be racist against the abos because huffing it is an integral part of their cultural identity

 

[Drip Torch]

"Should anyone present know of any reason that this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, archive it."

 

[BirdUp]

I don't know what Jared did to make everybody hate him but it couldn't be worse then subway discontinuing the pastrami sandwich. It was a bit pricey but it was objectively the best fucking sandwich they had and getting rid of it is the biggest stain on subways fine image.

 

[gorgoroth7134]

"Should anyone present know of any reason that this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, archive it."

 

[BirdUp]

Why do us men get called creepy when we want our sex toys to actually resemble women that we can talk to and cuddle with?

 

[Cyclonus]

Should have gone with the full thing, also including women's sex toys just being severed penises. I'll happily be quoted on that.

 

[Tablet County]

Should have gone with the full thing, also including women's sex toys just being severed penises. I'll happily be quoted on that.

I mean it all sounds slightly unhinged and is generally funny so yes I agree.

Why aren't women creepy for being satisfied with sex toys that are basically just severed penises? That's all we are to you isn't it, just a life support system for a cock.

 

[frozen_runner]

Being a sperg isn't a disability there buddy.

When Gollum was being tortured at Barad-dur, did the orcs do things to him... sexually?

 

[Tablet County]

The message of Get Out, which I completely agree with, is that affluent white liberals are body stealing demons and you must kill the evil with fire.

I appreciate how many people thirdies can fit on a single moped

Total safe edgy death

Billions must say nigger

 

[Gentlebastard]

I'm just laughing that these losers think a woman lying about her age is JOOISH TRICKERY.

Reader's note: this polytard is beyond long-winded. If you don't want to read the entire text of his posts, just pick out a few sentences at random. Every single word is insane.

So sad. Just five months ago he was smearing LSD on her pussy and she was fingering his asshole!

This bro needs to give up the polyamory and just become a cult leader, this would allow him to build an even larger harem of women without having to pretend that he's OK with sharing them.

That's not how you do magic, that's how you get bird aids.

 

[BirdUp]

Actually most black people I’ve met smell just as good if not better than white people, and it isn’t black peoples fault that the air is going away, it’s because of the rich privileged white people burning fossil fuels and cutting down trees. Also please don’t say the n word.

This forum was a bad idea

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

Not that I'm an expert on women (as if any man can really be that), merely that I am a non-hallucinator.

gnomesayan

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

Oingo Boingo predicted his death years ago.

In her place, I certainly wouldn't want anyone to know that a mere whiff of my crotch managed to instantly turn off a cunnilingus-powered, chubby-chasing, allegedly-smell-and-taste-blind sex pest; and, after such a shaming experience, not only she hasn't changed her life and habits, she's publishing it for the whole world to know? Bloody hell's bells.

The studliest of studs before being the girliest of girls, always eagerly telling women about his ass bleeds, bowl movements, urination, and his wee wee going boing and asking how to buy women's bathing suits that fit, how to behave in women's rooms, and whether they'd date a man who wore menstrual pads.

interested in doing nothing else except turning little girls into cookie pimps

*fuck you, I'm keeping that fat-finger misspell, eat my scaly ass

I have no doubt the 80 yo fatass who uses caps lock on the internet is totally rational and cold-blooded.

Every blowjob, every fuck, leaves a permanent genetic record inside the brain.

Truly a stain on the name of Ben Dover Middle School

EAGLE! Some eagle's wings take a little bit longer to sprout. So when they do, they will be bigger and stronger than normal!

If the worm dies does he still turn into an Illithid eventually?

consoom gorillionth racial violence article and get excited for gorillionth+1
this will surely wake up the goys!!!
RISE, WHITE MAN!
RISE FROM THY SLUMBER!

Just, as within the arena of Neckbeardism~the true beard is not on one's neck but one's heart

Pistachio.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

More old emails have been uncovered from when Stephanie Cianfriglia was trying to groom children while pretending to channel the ghost of Michael Jackson.

 

[Meat Target]

Oh goodness you really look like that? I’m so sorry.

 

[D_Tractor]

View attachment 5977943View attachment 5977944
Ymunkoke your future. Enjoy prison.

 

[vomitusdeux]

you look like Grimace about to attend a funeral

The whole page is full of seizure-inducing pride art of zippertit troon baby furries and such.

She even managed to make a cancer arc boring.

What does she pass as? It doesn't look like a woman or a man to me maybe a creature from a Doctor Seuss book.

HOW IS THAT CREEPY FART FETISHIST AN OKAY GUY.

Just ask 64% of the women on here, who's pussy I have digitally ate.

Nobody sane cares about what lesbians want, Mx. Omori.

I'm not the one who turned his dick inside out.

theres companies out there which can replicate any flavor almost 100% with chemicals, so he could take a shit in a cup and demand they replicate the rancid flavor in a carbonated caca cola.

You look me in the eye. And you tell me. You tell me that you're certain there is no doodoo in these sodas.

You can't. Can you?

nice bulge bro very saphic

I’d throw my grandma down the stairs, no cap.

I have a lot of sex. I'm the Commander in Chief of the Federation of Unionized Organization of Sex Having People Society.

As the Koran says:
Let he who is without stinkditch cast the first stone

The most important step is to tag Null

i thought this was going to be a thread on how to win a fight against a retarded child going super saiyan over a nintendo switch

I hope this app is the permanent final solution to the gay ERP pm chain question that plagued the forum a couple months back.

I outed myself. This site is for laughing at lolcows, and transphobes are flat-earther tier retarded schizos.

But I don't hate or fear you.
I just wanna cut your HRT supply and force you back to male.

Do forgive me, but Ben Dover (who's married to Eileen Dover) is a fucking phone prank from the 1980s... and you just had to fucking make it real. I can't give a shit about the rest of this article, this person actually existed. This is like, this is like confirming Big Foot or Aliens or something.

cant believe kiwifarms of all places has had such a historical interest in my sex life.

I don't know if you would listen to a deathfat's prayer

Being fat and having a non-functional dick isn't humiliating?

Congrats to A&N, this article has more niggerism than BBC Pidgin.

Is it really a "(racial slur)" when it's used by people of the same race? I guess black folks better start turning in their n-word cards...

sounds like they need mo money fo dem programz down there in Bend Over Connecticut.

How much diabetes did you smoke today?

What? you fucking retard. this is why you train sounding every day, look at you a bumbling fucking nigger who may have once been an upstanding member of the human race now reduced to a pitiful excuse of a man twisted by his own penis. This all could have been avoided if you had chose to sound your dick enlargening the hole and preventing a situation such as this from even being a possibility in your tiny little world, you brought this upon yourself remember that. Each and every surge of pain must be felt on you because it is YOU who made this a reality for yourself. Dont call it a grave, its the path you chose or whatever that quote is...

Do you mean the gorilla’s iq test was a scam or the entire gorilla?

Now now, "Adult diaper changing" could be very beneficial to those of us with elderly parents. I'm sure it's completely wholesome.

I hate everything about what you've just said and I think it'd be of great benefit to society if you killed yourself.

Fun fact: The Zogg Fire was NOT started by Jewish Space Lasers!

He died as he lived: stuffed into a cookie jar.

The body is just a vessel, eventually the cookie crumbles.

Damn I really wanted to see them try to make a tranny look honorable as Japan's custom.

"Look at this evil Kiwi Farmer!"
"Oh, what did they do?"
"They said they'd push their own grandmother down the stairs!"

He should have gone to that suicide woods, but that would have involved going outside, I suppose.

 

[AgendaPoster]

I've been sperging for the Jews on the internet for 25 years