random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Jonah Hill poster]

Good, anime needs to make money or they'll take BlackRock bucks and reboot Goku into a tranny nigger.

 

[3MMA]

These two truly put the gay in gay-ops.

 

[Law]

YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO GET A BONER ABOUT 9/11!

 

[Pissmaster]

another day another dead faggot

 

[PhoBingas]

Also my investments in General Dynamics, Lockheed Martin, and Raytheon care very, very, VERY much.

 

[Xarpho's Return]

If you make schools just for boys they will all grow up to be gays. Just look at the UK.

@Law The "get a boner about 9/11" is one of the oldest random.txt texts on the site, that's probably what it was a reference to

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

Hillary drinks against the grain of the liquor, not with it.

This is what you're defending when you join the military.

There's really only one truly effective solution and I won't say it because Null will probably get upset with me.

I guess we're eating ducks and cats now.

"Duck Hunters could be here" he thought, "I've never been in this neighbourhood before. There could be Duck Hunters anywhere." The cool wind felt good against his bare chest. "I HATE Duck Hunters" he thought. Sweet Dreams are Made of These reverberated his entire car, making it pulsate even as the $9 wine circulated through his powerful thick veins and washed away his (merited) fear of Haitians after dark. "With a car, you can go anywhere you want" he said to himself, out loud.

View attachment 6398485

BLM (not the nigger kind the glow kind)

The only reason men are depressed is that the government stops them from solving their problems with violence.

 

[Tablet County]

imagine how hard it is for a person whose ancestors never discovered fire; an entire civilization which cares more for random park birds than their own daughters

 

[like_shutup_&_drive_scoob]

I'm gonna be honest of all the possible motives I could've imagined for her to shoot up an elementary school, "I want to die and go to heaven so God can give me a penis so I can fuck black people in the ass" was not on my radar.

I offer to become a bounty hunter to bring ****** parents to justice. I will have a whip, a rope, and a love of saying “It takes a village to raise a child. It takes only a single man to whip!””

They were playing Twister while doing it, and became a sexual pretzel after one near-fatal right hand on green. Many such cases.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Here you can see the giant hole in the ceiling, that most of the rodents come through, yes that is plumbing, no I don't know what it goes to. You can see in the background an attempt to cover up this hole but the landlord unfortunately stopped giving a fuck and here we are.

Waffle stomping is always an option.

 

[Asian tech support]

If amphetamines were good enough for the Nazis they're good enough for you.

Didn't they lose?

Yes because they couldn't produce enough meth.

 

[Big Beefus]

My BPD was right, which is sad.

Source (Warning: long unhinged rant)

 

[Tablet County]

She's currently masturbating to the thought of a hurricane destroying New Orleans and gangs of feral niggers raping my family and eating my pets.

 

[everybody in Portugal]

By the look of those medical notes it sounds like she needs the spirit of Ed Gein aborted

But last year she bought a $120 inflatable rainbow Hanukkah unicorn to try to bait someone into vandalizing their yard. Isn't that jewish enough for you

The lyrics are as follows:

[Unintelligible Crackheadese]

Ah, my favorite breakfast. Avocado toast and turds

 

[tehpope]

You are factually wrong and your analysis is dubious at best.

 

[Gentlebastard]

There's something there that might be extra attractive to the BPD brain.

I need to know what kind of psychopath wakes up in the morning and thinks "I can't wait to see what politically charged no punchline advice animal memes are on Reddit today!"

my wife is primarily into cooking-related cows like Kay and Jack, and somehow, I haven't shown her the beef unwell-ington until now

I'd rather these people continue to fly around the world, rather than starting up a new podcast. We don't need any new podcasts from them, and at least there's a chance that their plane would crash.

I like how she simultaneously looks like a 12 year old and the 12 year old's grandmother.

For the love of god, just report the thread shitting gimmick poster and move on, don't' engage with the thread shitting gimmick poster.

Most people tend to be pissed when someone dead for centuries shits in their cereal again.

 

[JustSomeDong]

Little boys who grow up never having been in a fight turn into adult males who don't know how to avoid one except by crying for teacher.

TAYLOR ALLISON SWIFT, ARE YOU NOW OR HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A MEMBER OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY? HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONTACTED BY KNOWN AGENTS OF THE GOP? MS SWIFT MAY I REMIND YOU THAT YOU ARE UNDER OATH.

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

From a discussion about language, in chat:

learning spanish makes sense to me because I wish to consume mass quantities of cocaine, and north america is the worst place to do that.

From the 4chan thread:

It doesn't matter how culturally adjacent the site is to the Farms; there are no sacred cows here, only lolcows.

I DO NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT BEJITABRO VS GOKUGODS OR WHATEVER THE FUCK THE FRED FLINTSTONE DRAGON BALL CUCK COPYPASTA IS SUPPOSED TO MEAN, PLEASE JUST LET ME DISCUSS VIDYA

 

[Tablet County]

gypsies stole OP's brain cells

Very interesting claim, but I need to see a working toilet flushing before I believe anything.

 

[Ron Jeremy Stan Account]

Hell, the guy used to dress up like the Easter bunny, drive a white tape van and yell nigger in a megaphone.