random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[IamnottheNSA]

STOP IT
I AM REAL
I AM REAL
I AM REAL
I AM REAL
I AM REAL

 

[Oliver Onions]

It's not about fucking women, it's about principles.

 

[Pork Wellington]

The Ganges is the worlds largest open sewer.

 

[The Lаughing Man]

Some of you retards make it embarrassing to have an account here

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

I care more about getting paid to translate loli porn than I do about my kiwifarms account

 

[MaduroHunter]

A leftist fish would say how great the air is while calling water fascist

"I'm a boomer and fuck my kids"

Right, but the fish wouldn't be found dead shoving a banana up it's pooper, which still makes it less deranged.

 

[Skitarii]

Hi guys this is Guacamole Nigga Penis' mom he blew his brains out and is profusely bleeding all over the floor this is all your fault @Glup

Rename the site to deadniggerfarms.st

>Some Pink Triangle nigger created a hugbox for other pink Triangle niggers
>Retard thought it was a good idea to invite Azure05 and Coberald
>pink trianglefags cope and seethe about being the butt of all jokes on the farms for a while
>Until some retard gets invited and leaks the entire chat
>I ask to join to spite a nigger, get dragged in, and start spamming nigger in chat
>Azure05 and Coberald join in on the spam
This is literally the fault for these dumb niggers for inviting known users from the soyjak thread.

 

[Gentlebastard]

No phones.
No tweets.
Just me...
and the open sea...
and maybe some gentle sharks.
Sharks wouldn’t ask me to retweet their blog posts.

4chan has been absolute fucking cancer for years, and a few weeks of being here feels like a cheesy beach day montage from a movie compared to being stuck there.

I… don’t have the fantasy of tackling an active shooter.

When you grow up like I did, all brands of racism taste pretty good.

It was informative in a sort of slap-you-in-the-face kind of way.

A statement aborted halfway between dumb comedy bit and worthless observation.

I have a super-detailed plan of where I'm going to hide at work; does that make me nonbinary?

This hovered in my feed for a week before I watched it, now I feel the dreaded N word. Nostalga.

That's how you know a Canadian wrote it, its all about America.

Having a billion retards is not an achievement, it's a liability.

It's as if God himself came down from the heavens and crafted the most embarassing moment captured by man, so no mortal man could top it.

Also, he's eating a pretzel and what looks like slabs of pressed meat -- very casual fare -- with the affected daintiness of a little girl hosting a tea party.

End stage AGP. Greek mythology kind of divine punishment. Can't have sex with men because he's not attracted to them. Can't have sex with women because he's jealous of them.

Anytime some jabroni posts about men not showing emotion, I treat myself to a YouTube compilation of grown men attacking their televisions like frightened game-fowl because the Cowboys are losing.

Oh my god, some poor junior detective or paralegal is probably being made to follow his Twitter/Bluesky etc in order to collect evidence. Horrific.

Even though the truth will set them free, they're not interested in the truth.

 

[GunCar Gary]

From my personal perspective, I've been with a handful of Black and Mullato men sexually in my youth

 

[PhoBingas]

Get out of here, commie. The only thing that can stop a bad Filipino with an SUV is a good Filipino with an SUV.

 

[The Lаughing Man]

Maybe the real lolcows were the friends made along the way.....

 

[DoNotFeedTheSneed]

I want to lick human feet. The feet of the fantastic Marie Rose! I'm not a furry like you. You no doubt fantasize about engaging in smelly sex with God knows what type of animal

Real source for quote (because it was in a dm chain that got leaked):

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/claud...yofangamer-gonebythedust.217009/post-21247409

 

[Bill Evans 45]

Any kiwis that are in Mexico, avoid any pork stew in the near future.

 

[Aunt Carol]

What the fuck is a WERE-COUGAR GENDER?

"Oh, this new makeup? Last year I was a skater gender, but I'm a GOTH gender now! And look at all those stuckup cheerleader genders over there, with their prep gender and jock gender boyfriends! Ugh. I'd rather eat lunch with the nerd genders..."

 

[vomitusdeux]

Why would a lesbo suck on a dildo anyway?

Which one of you tattled to his mom that he was posting his pedo stump rape fantasies here?

The second my mother sent Null a picture of herself I'd of blown my brains out

Yeah contact limbless children association or whatever while you are at it. Fuck off with your moralops.

ABDL is so attractive to them because you literally have a wet cloth pressing against all of your most sensitive bits, and for many this gives them the sensory arousal needed to get erect.

Just wanted to give my 2 cents as somebody who has experience with both circles

Not gonna lie, I think Alex's mom joining the forum to warn people of a literal shit eating retard taking over her son's account is weirdly endearing.

I am convinced that some part of the autonomic nervous system involved in the process of orgasm is also involved in the process of sneezing.

I do not sexually enjoy sneezing. I enjoy sneezing.

I. Am. Dead. Beanie has entered the White House. It's fucking real. Beanie Haters in shambles.

Real talk. Does he wear the Beanie while having sex with his wife? There is a non zero possibility of this.

You don't want your three-year-old to be afraid of elephantdick hiding under the bed.

Corpse at a funeral = mom chastely kissing dad on the lips.
Mom and dad fucking = rotten suicide corpse melting in a bathtub.

The bible tells us to kill nexus troons.

the furry cries out as he grooms your child

Did he take the underage monkeys to Disneyland then started a BDSM relationship with them that included pissplay?

You're not fooling anyone by tucking your penis back and gluing hair to your crotch.

He came for the cat raping.
He stayed for the trachea tube.

I suppose that's a pretty sturdy dog house though and if someone isn't used to heavy-lifting it could be rather hard to lift.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

Can we make being fat illegal

 

[Solid Snek]

"Gender' in the modern online sense is what you get when you tell a bunch of white people they're not allowed to say "spirit animal."

 

[Windy Moors]

I cant adequately describe to you what dreadful condition that home was in.

His dryer was fine. He just never used it. Clothes were filed a foot high from bedroom to kitchen. Dirty.

 

[POWER IN MISERY]

It's terrifying to see the dark night of fascism descend up on Germany again.

revealed to be a donkey kong fetish pedophile

He was on a quest to find the legendary clitoris.

WE FOUND THE PISS DRAWER.

If I'm gonna stick a baby in a juice press I'd like to know why. As for the puzzles, the most complicated one is the first and it's not all that hard once you figure out where the dick and pussy-shaped objects go.

If any of the kids come out running and screaming on fire, make sure to put them out with a nice greasy load

don't question the super smart race experts

you know you're watching a guy who shits himself, and tries to make it everyone else's problem.

Find a happy medium somewhere between where you currently are and the holocaust.

He can talk about his mind operating beyond the space and time continuum all he likes, he's a faggot.

DOWN THE ILLUMINATI! - I shouted, taking out the most confused nigga of all time working at the Home Depot in the lamp/lighting section.

They are in their "drawing concentration camp fanart" era

There's nothing more annoying than getting molested.

Basically you can google the words "cock vore tutorial" and find a tutorial on how to force an earthworm to wriggle into your dick hole for sexual pleasure.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Nigga, sex is sacred and meaningful.